Russian skies
by starbugkenny
Summary: Sequel to Crossing the bridge read first!, Kai wants answers, and is willing to go back to his pain to get them, but what will he find when he gets there? What of those he left behind?
1. The first step

Hello everyone! Well, this is it, a new story starting where Crossing the bridge finished! I would like to start with a very sincere thank you to all of you, you have no idea how much your reviews have meant to me, or how they have kept me going when things got a little tough. Some of have thanked me for helping you, or making you realise things, well you have done the same to me. Writing means more to me then anything else in my capabilities. Books, and stories, fantasy and real life, all entwined to give me meaning. So I thank you. A note to any new readers here, reading crossing the bridge first will really help you understand this story!

I can't believe how many of you I made cry! That's pretty impressive! That's some real emotion! Linkin Park again! Yay me! It does work with that song! Voltaire cannot be trusted, it's true, he's a nasty piece of work! You got bored of the tree running? Good! I was starting to worry! It's so cool to finally find another Gundam Wing fan! Good to know I'm teaching you some mythology! You two are sooooo sweet! Bless the pair of you! Um, nice song! You guys are a riot, please keep making me laugh!

I don't know if there is going to be any romance between Kai and Tadashi, I know the majority of people were against it before, but maybe opinions have changed, let me know!

I can understand what you mean about feeling it, so don't worry about that! Thanks for reminding me about what our club name means!

Thank you. To not be able to find words powerful enough, that's impressive. It is amazing what words can make you feel, that's why I'm so passionate about them! words can be a complete league of their own meaning so much.

Kai is very confused, that's why he left, for answers. He feels betrayed, but at the same time they did come back for him. He's torn. Thank you about the titles!

A congratulation is always needed for work done, so thank you!

Will Kai ever make it up with the bladebreakers? You shall have to read and find out!

Singing my poems is great, id love them to be lyrics too! Anything coming from your heart, however twisted, means a lot to me! You make a very good point about people not liking things, why do they continue to read them? madness! And I will always be me, I have no need to change that for anything, thank you for reminding me, sometimes it's so easy to forget what not being yourself can do to you.

I'm sorry that verse didn't work for you, had to happen somewhere! It's a half rhyme; I've done worse rhyming in previous poems! It's good everyone now understands my title! I have no idea how long the sequel is going to be, I didn't know that crossing the bridge would be as long as it was!

I do understand how much you appreciate our work; I feel the same about the things I read!

What were you expecting? Kai kill himself?! I know I would in his situation, but I need him! he won't die! No angry mob! I'll be good, I promise!

Thank you for calling me a fellow author.

I hate it when characters are flawless, you just can't connect to perfect things! I'm a very emotional person, and I guess it shows in my story!

Yay! More fan art! Draw, draw!

Don't feel like a piece of you has been ripped away! I will always come to you if I need help, email me!

You will have to wait and see if Kai will go back to them!

Kai won't turn mushy! That would be so wrong! You shall see more of the evil two.

When I write enough poems I will make an anthology and hopefully get it published! Thank you for being proud of my new story all ready! Here's a little thing I don't know if anyone noticed, but did you see the bitbeast I chose for Tori had a human form, like Tala's, and they were supposed to be twins……..i was being clever!

* * *

Kai felt hollow as he walked on. Time and distance had merged and faded to become something he no longer understood. His injuries plagued him dreadfully, yet he still walked on. The weather had started to turn nasty, the wind picking up to a chilling, whipping strength, pushing at him and making walking even harder. He could hear the distant rumble of thunder, felt the first drops of rain. Shrugging deeper into his long coat, he pushed himself on. He tried to stop thinking, to reach a numbing point in his mind, he had done it before, and it would be a blessing to not think of what, and who, he had left behind. But it seemed that prayer would go unanswered, he couldn't stop analysing what happened, that they had come back for him. He then berated himself for even sending a silent prayer of mercy to still his thoughts, he had no faith to pray to, and felt stupid for doing it.

Maybe that was what he needed, faith.

He shook his head beneath his hood. It did no good to think of things that would leave his mind in knots for hours, religion hadn't been something he had been offered, only taught, and that was only so he could blend in any culture he had to. Most of them anyway. He distracted his busy mind and aching heart by going over defence moves and patterns in his head, and when that was done, moved on to reciting phrases in all the languages he knew. He trudged on, it grew darker, and he didn't even notice. He had to find someway to get to Russia, and then back to the abbey. He needed to speed things up somehow. Maybe he could catch a bus? Then a ferry? He had so little money now, he had to keep as much as he could, he certainly couldn't afford a plane. He winced as he felt a newly scabbed cut on his leg pull apart and bleed anew. When had his life become this? When had he run away from such a thing?

He didn't know, and for once, he felt a coward, one with no choice.

* * *

It was a depressed group that met together hours later. All of them were soaked from the rain, and tired from the search. They sat in blankets or dressing gowns in Tyson's front room, in front of the fire, all holding a steaming mug.

Tadashi could feel another tear slide down her cheek. He had gone, they had searched, but he was still gone. Why? None of the bitbeasts could sense him; even Dizzi's tracking system couldn't feel such a weak signal. It wasn't supposed to have been this way. She thought back on when they had met again after all that time, when he had been captured. In that dusty attic, the pale orange light streaming through the windows, she could see him. He had grown so much from when he had been ten, the last time she had seen him before then. He was stronger, tougher, smarter. He barely remembered her, but then he had been happier, maybe without all his memories it had been better for him. She regretted coming back with Leon. She didn't have to, but she had wanted to see him again. Now she wished she had just left it. Maybe if she had never retuned, it could have been different.

"Tad? Don't cry" said Max gently, "we will find him. He can't have gone that far in this storm."

She shook her head, "he's gone, I don't know where, but he has. A storm won't stop him, his injuries wont. He might never come back!"

They had nothing to say to that, she was right.

"Maybe we won't find him, but there's no harm in calling in extra troops. Who knows who might see him?" said Mariah suddenly.

Ray looked at her at an angle, "what?"

"We'll get the other teams involved. He could go anywhere, so we will get the others, the rest of the White tigers, the Majestics, and the All Stars. The wider scope we have, the better for finding Kai!"

They had to agree with her with this one.

"You guys get the All Stars and the Majestics, and I'll get the White Tigers, though it might take a while" she told them all.

Ray looked at her completely this time, "you're leaving?" he asked a little mournfully.

"Only for a little while Ray, besides, I didn't intend to spend so long here anyway, I will be back! I promise" and she sealed the promise with a chaste kiss on Ray's surprised lips. He pulled her into a tight hug.

"It's a good idea Mariah, I'll start getting in touch with the Majestics" said Kenny.

"And I'll phone my mom!" said Max, a little too enthusiastically.

"Great!" yelled Tyson as he punched the air, almost spilling the contents of his mug, "we'll find Kai in no time!"

Tadashi could only nod mutely, she didn't want to ruin their hope just because hers had died. She had to think of where Kai would go, the most or the least obvious? She sat, occasionally sipping from her mug, not tasting the hot brew, she was too distracted thinking of where Kai would go that she didn't even feel the extra blanket placed on her damp shoulders by Samantha.

Samantha told herself she should have seen this coming. She had known Kai's determination from her time with him in the hospital. If it wasn't for that boy, she would never have known those that sat around her now. She silently thanked him and sat down next to Tyson's father and snuggled closer to him. She had never had much of a family, a single child whose father had run off when she was small, left with a mother who had no time to raise a child properly. She had left home as soon as she could, working hard to pay for nursing school, then living in a small apartment on the low wage she received for nursing. Now she had a family, and she would do anything to keep them together.

Her partner watched her through pained eyes. He knew her past, and what she was willing to do to keep what she now had. He felt the same way. He had spent so much time away from his family, he wouldn't do it again. Kai was a part of that family, however much the teen rebelled against the thought. They all held a strong bond to Kai; they only hoped he knew it.

* * *

It was pouring down with rain. It drove down in heavy sheets before being nothing more then mist, then another sheet rode over the walking figure by the road.

Kai stumbled slightly, his legs numb and slipping on the slick mud next to the road. He couldn't hear anything that passed on the road, so he walked beside it. Every now and again he saw foggy lights pass in a speeding blur, yet he knew they couldn't see him, it made no sense to flag one down; they were mostly going the way he was walking away from.

He had to get to the coast, yet he had lost where he was. He didn't know how long it would take to get there. It wasn't like going to the beach near Tyson's, he needed ships, a harbour or port, not a sandy beach. His bag felt so heavy, as did his feet. His coat was laden with rain water, his bandages dried with blood and chafing at the still weeping wounds beneath them. He felt truly desolate.

It wasn't till early dawn the next day he came to a sizable town next to a small harbour. The storm had turned into a grey chilly morning; fog rolling in off the sea didn't help. He could feel the cold air filling his lungs, leaving a coughing sensation instead. In this wet, damp weather, him already so stiff and soaked, he only had sickness to look forward too. Illness didn't take to him easily, but in these conditions he would still develop a fever and cough. Too much water settling on his lungs. Could nothing leave him be?

He stopped by the concrete edge of the harbour, trying to peer into the thick blanket of water that obscured his vision. He couldn't see anything. With a shivery sigh he pulled from the edge before it tempted him. He walked a way away and leant against a wall. Sliding down, all he could think of was how cold he was. Russian winters were freezing, but nothing was worse then being cold and wet. It drove down into his bones, leaving him nothing left with which to even shiver with. His heating force was gone; the inferno that the phoenixes gave him inside was an almost non existent spark, just occasionally telling him it was there. After such blazing glory, that was all that was left, a spark that burned more then heated.

The morning air began to clear around him, the fog lifting. He could feel the weak heat the sun gave off. Pulling himself up was no easy task, but he couldn't be seen, he needed to find a way to get to a place where boats went to Russia. He doubted he would find one here, but something could get him to a bigger port. Only question was how to get on one that would take him where he needed to go. He shrank further into his soaking and chilled coat as people started to emerge from the misty air.

'Maybe I should just ask someone, but who would answer me looking like this?' he thought to himself. He wasn't looking forward to the impending trip on boat as it was, not since having to escape a burning one. He picked up his duffel and tried to walk his stiff legs out, suppressing a wince as the bandages seemed to loosen more and rub against the sore flesh. Maybe if he just listened around, he'd find what he wanted, or maybe, he should just pick, and deal with whatever came next. He walked along the buildings nearest the harbours edge.

After a time of walking he came across a large café, and suddenly realised that he needed food. He might have been able to survive on little, but he had wounds to heal, stress to deal with, and a long journey ahead of him. He stepped in and made straight to the restroom first, avoiding the "young man?" that followed him.

Once in the restroom, he let his bag and coat fall to the floor. His tired gaze swept over his image in the mirror. He looked like a beggar; they wouldn't serve him food like this! He had some more bandages in his bag, and used them to replace the dirty and wet ones from his walk. The cuts from the harpies looked inflamed and tender, the one on his head was still weeping. He hoped it was the kind of discharge a healing wound gave off. He had never had an infection in his life, but as the myth went, anything the harpies touched either rotted or died. Maybe he would die; it sort of made the whole fight for survival thing ironic though, but would be one hell of a relief. He gave himself a grim smile at the thought.

His trousers and top were mostly dry now, so he fished out a hoodies to keep his skin warm whilst he ate, the wet coat needed a good drying session before he put it back on. He then fished out an old black woolly hat to cover his head bandage and some of his hair. Pulling it onto his head made the heavy blue spikes stick out at odd angles over his face. At least they helped to cover his face tattoos. That thought brought a pang of hurt as he thought of the 'tattoo' of the phoenixes on his shoulder. It was still there, but thinking about how far away they now were was not something he wanted to dwell on.

Soon enough he was almost presentable, looking a little rough, but they must have gotten all sorts travelling here. He sat at a small, shaded booth and ordered water and a hot meal, the special, he didn't care what. The waitress looked at him with a weird expression as she took the order and left. He leaned over the table and fought the pain his joints and wounds gave him. Maybe he could be sick? Maybe it was an infection? He hoped not, but then hope had never helped him yet. He sat back as the meal was placed in front of him and he thanked the waitress. She blushed prettily and told him to shush before walking away. He stared after her, all he had said was thanks, he was sure that he had said nothing to her to make her act like he had given her the biggest compliment. He shook his head slightly and ate with no joy for the food. It was good food, but he couldn't seem to find the rare appetite he had had just before coming in.

He finished the meal and drank the water down quickly, pushing the sick feeling eating had given him down. He gestured to the waitress to bring him another glass of water. She brought it over and winked at him as he stared after her.

"What the fuck?" he whispered to himself. He sat nursing the water between his hands, listening to the muted conversations around him. Maybe he did have luck; one ship was stopping off at a large port to move cargo to a bigger ship that would go to Vladivostok harbour in Russia. Kai could go there and travel up further into Russia. It was perfect. He drank half the glass of water and paid for his bill, the waitress smiling at him the whole time. Even glaring at her wasn't working. He decided there was too much of his hair in the way for her to really see his glare. He pushed her out of his mind and approached the two men who had been talking about the ship to Russia.

"Excuse me, I heard you talking about your destination. I want to travel there and wish to go by your ship if you will allow it." He asked the startled men.

One chuckled suddenly, "I like a guy who can get to the point right away! Now why should we allow you on our ship?"

"I have some money or can work for the journey" he replied casually. He wasn't supposed to be Kai here; he didn't want to be traced by the Bladebreakers or the hospital finding him.

"Ah see, you worked ship before lad?" asked the other in a drawn out accent.

"I have briefly, and learn fast, now can I board?"

"Patience, we can't let anyone aboard, liabilities and all, what's your name?"

"Matt. I will pay if I'm a liability, I know you take some passengers, it's a short trip" he answered back.

"Well Matt, looks like you have us cornered, though we may not have room for you."

Kai kept the mans gaze with his own, "it's only one person, one bag, I'll take whatever".

"Runnin away lad? We don't take no runners."

"Not running away, travelling and falling short on what I have. I need to speed it up a bit. I have family waiting for me."

"ah see, well, in tha' case we can't turn down no cash can we Sid? We can't refuse a kid now if he's goin somewheres."

"we will take you on board Matt, but you will pay, we have no need for anymore workers, be on the ship in half an hour, that's when we will leave, if your not there we wont wait for you, ok?"

"Fine by me, I'll just phone my folks, let them know I'll be home soon, and thanks."

"no problem Matt, report to any worker on the ship and they will see you to a cabin, small mind, id advise you stay there for the trip, it's only a couple of hours and as we are only a small vessel, we don't want any passengers getting underfoot. The ships called the Sea Squirt."

"Understood, thank you again" said Kai one last time before leaving them to their meal. He heard their fading voices discuss him briefly before turning their conversation onto the time and the tide. He quickly located the Sea Squirt and followed the other passengers aboard. There was only about a dozen including himself that seemed to be travelling on the small ship. He figured most the space was taken up by cargo. He asked one man hauling line where he should go.

"Last cabin left is first level down, number 14, avoid getting in anyone's way, we're running late as it is."

Kai nodded and went down the metal steps to a corridor lined with doors, some opened with people either entering them or leaving them. He ignored them all as he looked for number 14. It was the last in the corridor. He shouldered his way in and found a small, but cosy cabin with wood on the floor, walls, and ceiling. The bunk was built into the wall facing the sea, a relatively large porthole above it. There was a door leading to a tiny bathroom consisting of wood, a small toilet, a washbasin, and a towel on a wooden rack. The only other things in the cabin were a small built in table and a shelf high along one wall.

He dumped his duffel on the floor where it took up most of the floor and sat on the bunk. He faced the porthole and folded his legs under him. He watched as the ship left the port and made it's way into deeper water. He was going back, after all this, he was going back. He was leaving behind so much, but there was no choice, he had to know things. He was going to find them out, all of them. He couldn't stop his throat closing as he thought of what he had left behind. He needed to be alone, to think all this through, all alone. Always alone.

* * *

**Leaving**

Is the first part of a journey

The hardest part to walk?

What of the final mile

Or the decisions at each fork?

Maybe it's at the end

When you can pull at the memories

When you have the time to look back

When you see the past holds no remedies

You will never know the answer

This voyage has no beginning, no end

You've been walking it since you can remember

You'll walk it till there's no life left to spend

You've travelled so far alone

Yet the voice still resounds in your head

From when they called and you still left

Saying 'forget me, I'm better off dead'

Now your feet stumble on life's mountains

That even the clouds in the sky imitate in jest

Yet those are just fleeting moments

To the peaks immortal rest

Each and every thought in your mind

Adds another face to the diamond there

A rock so flawed the light is twisted

Showing a soul that was hidden, now bare

The sun shows the truth so painfully

The night offers a cloak from the ache

You hike under the cold stars guidance

You talk to the moon for sorrows sake

Can others hear your silent pleas?

Fate rolls again the dice

Do you regret leaving with the knowledge

That you can never cross the same river twice?

Will you find what you are looking for?

Will the path become too tough?

All you know is that whatever you do

Will never be enough


	2. Baby blue

Hey all! Well there it was, the start of Russian skies! Wow, for someone that didn't know what to write you managed to write something beautiful and moving!

The bladebreakers hope that by getting the other teams involved they will have a wider scope to find Kai with, none of them know where Kai is but it could help. Samantha's life does give her an edge in understanding Kai, and also gives someone in the group that really wants Kai as family. The young man thing may be referencing to something later, and it may not……………….. You will be in the story very, very soon!!!! Your doing very well with the size of your review!! The poem was saying that it's possible to go back, just don't expect it to ever be the same, too much has changed.

Lol, marry you? Well if you insist! : p it will pick up, you can count on that!

Sorry about the poem, they can't all work for everyone! I'm sure all of you have your favourites and the ones you don't like so much, it happens. Lady luck certainly doesn't like Kai! In theory, Kenny should be able to track down the phoenixes, but they are know in one blade, he doesn't know that and hasn't adapted his data for it, plus the phoenixes are very weak at the moment from helping Kai. They are still linked with Kai, but very weakly. Boris and Leon could be anywhere!

Romance between Kai and Tadashi is something I'm still thinking on. I do have a little story line up my sleeve, one with more angst in that department!

Thank you about the poems, it's good you can relate to them!

The song is Boulevard of broken dreams by Greenday, and I can see where you get that from! Lol, what can I say, when I start, I really start!

Kai's only human, boredom visits us all! Thank you about the poem, glad it worked for you! An anthology is a book of poems. It's ok about the Tala/ Tori thing, me trying to be clever is something that doesn't happen often, you blink and you miss it! The demolition boys will see Kai, you will have to see how they react! I know what you mean about the homework thing, id much rather be doing fanfiction stuff then my uni work!

I always have fun writing this! And they may come back to what they were, you shall have to see!

I love than me Matt too, I love loads of names! And thanks about the imagery and port scenario things you said! Fan art away! Must do more!!!

Lol, you two! Mariah turned up when she heard Ray had been stabbed by Leon, and she stayed since then. You pronounce Tala like this. Say the first part as ta, like when your talking to a small child, you say ta as in please, and la as in, well, la! Easier to run really works! It was the title to one of my chapters. The tree running would have made the tree dizzy watching you! Leon and Boris will turn up when they are ready! Lol, review later guys, I need these laughs!

The blitzkrieg boys will be in Russian skies, and I have no idea how long this story will be! I'm sorry Crossing the bridge got a bit confusing at the end, but a lot had gone on!

I will let you all know if I get anything published! I promise!

There will be plenty of characters coming up, including the teams! I'm doing an animal based course at university, I haven't done English since high school! It's my hobby, so I get plenty of practice in anyway!

Anything to do with Death is interesting! I'm the God of Death, I should know! There is nothing more triumphant then death. I'll update when I can!

Good to see a new big fan! Keep thinking about what will happen next, and tell me!! I need all the help I can get sometimes! You really don't need to keep complicating me, though it is nice! Read away!

Lol, glad you feel happy I answered your question!

I'm only talented at writing, that's it! You'll see Tala soon! Mood swings happen, I get them! they wouldn't loathe you, they are the moodiest three out of the lot! Boris and Leon are a secret! Thank you about the prize thing!

Your welcome, glad to help increase your imagination, take some, I have plenty! Good luck with your writing, and when you can put it up, I'll read it. Making friends is tough, I'm happy you made friends due to fanfiction, makes it more worth it, writing that is. Go on as much as you like, I love reading what people say!

You don't suck! Lol!

I think they do know that Kai left of his own accord, but they also know he is injured, and that he is both physical and emotional pain. They care for him.

I know it's taking me a while to update but its exam time for me, and I'm swamped! I'll try and be faster but till the end of next week I'm revising mostly!

It's good to see all the old reviewers and a bunch of new ones!!! Read on!

…………………………………………………………………………………………...

Kai woke to a knock on the cabin door. He pushed himself up to a sitting position. He hadn't noticed himself drifting off to sleep. Maybe the smooth rocking motion of the boat had pushed his tired body towards rest, but however it had helped, it made him feel groggy and worse then before. It had been too little and now his body screamed for more he couldn't let it have. He shoved his hat back on just in time for Sid's poor talking friend to open the door.

"you ready? We docked an' is waiting to put cargo to th' other ship. Thought you's would wanna see if ta other ship before's ya go."

Kai nodded and stretched, wincing as his cuts tore with new pain. Seeing the mans questioning glance he answered.

"Stiff, slept funny."

The man nodded, "Sid's waitin for ya up on deck, move smart, we aint got all day!"

Kai got of the bunk and swept his hand into his duffle bags strap. He followed the sailor out and up onto the fresh deck. Looking around, Kai could see a large harbour, could smell the sea air and the heavy, clinging smell of fish. He had no idea where he was and no inclination to find out. He spotted Sid and barely masked his limp as he walked towards the sailor.

"Well lad, we brought you here, and before you ask, I don't want your money, you did us a favour. We needed the extra passenger to reduce our tariff here."

Kai nodded at the man, he tried to get his answers by being casual. "My folks won't be here for a while yet, and I feel I haven't paid you yet even if I did you a favour. Let me help with the cargo, it's the least I can do."

Sid looked into the cold determination that radiated from 'Matt's' eyes. He nodded in reply. "Ok, just one trip, then you can go. I want you to take some small packages down to the other ships captain, it's a passenger ship, and we have most its supplies. Haru will go with you." He pointed to the man he seemed to control the ship with. Kai thanked him, bid him farewell, and went to follow Haru.

Haru chatted away to Kai the whole trip to the new ship, Kai nodding occasionally to the almost unintelligible words. They shared about a dozen small packages as they threaded through huge cargo boxes, some wooden, most metal. Kai could see some of the harbour patrol checking the boxes for anything that shouldn't be there. They finally arrived next to a huge cruiser, the _Verity_.

"I should get going, thanks Haru, bye." He handed the sailor the parcels he held and waved good bye as he walked off.

"See ya Matt!" Haru called back to him.

Kai turned sharply behind one of the large metal containers and leaned against it. He was so tired. He checked the label of the container to make sure it was going onto the _Verity_ and that it had already been checked. He opened the huge door slightly and as quietly as the groaning metal would let him and slinked in. He was sure no one had been around to see him, yet he couldn't help shake off the feeling of baby blue eyes watching him………………….. He half collapsed to the floor and slept almost instantly.

……………………………………………………..

A girl leaned against the rail, her arms folded on it with her chin almost sitting on her crossed wrists, watching the loading of the ship she was sailing home on. The ledge she had sat on and swung her legs over so she could lean comfortably and watch all that was going on was a good place to see the scenery. She was way too early to board the ship and begin the journey back as a passenger. Not so long ago she had come to Japan to see it and to learn new things. And to find someone, and now, when she had given up, he had found her. Almost. She watched the familiar boy as he left the side of a guy holding brown parcels and hid himself in a container.

She sighed, her breath leaving on a puff of breeze. It stirred her shoulder length hair into her view. She pushed the red and purple streaked hair out of the way, the brunette strands between them adding a nice contrast.

'Well' she thought, 'time to get sorted, looks like we will have to introduce ourselves, seems fate was playing games!'

Her bitbeast agreed, 'are you sure it's him?' asked her bitbeast, her cat-like ears twitching as she shifted her wings.

'Definatly' was the reply with a wry grin to her lips. She got up and tugged her fitted dark blue, short sleeved shirt over her black long sleeved top underneath. Her light blue jeans flared out slightly over her dark trainers and scuffed on the floor when she walked away to get her bag.

"It's time Angel" she said aloud, "as they say, the tide waits for no man, but then, I'm not a man!"

Her bitbeast shook her pale, elegant head. 'No your not, and don't even think that I will help you change the tide, not again, you've already had one soaking!' she lashed her tail for the sake of it.

The girl grimaced at the recent memory, "thanks for that! At least you got your annual bath! You were starting to smell a bit, and for something that's almost a spirit in form, that's quite an achievement!" she chuckled to herself as her bitbeast pouted at her. That was how it always was, the banter between them, she could feel Angel's affection for her, even when she said things to wind her up.

She walked to the edge of the ledge, looking down to the cardboard boxes two stories down. Angel realised what she was going to do.

'No! No, please use the ladder! You could hurt yourself!'

The girl smiled, Angel was like her common sense, her conscious, only thing was, she never listened. In her own opinion, what was life without risks? Angel worried too much. The girl rolled her blue eyes and stepped off the ledge, her bitbeast screaming at her all the way down.

'Nooo! ALICIA!'

She landed safely, laughing at the rush as she lay in the now crumpled boxes. It was good to live.

………………………………………………….

Ray waved goodbye to Mariah as she turned the corner in the yellow cab, her pink ponytail streaming behind her from the window she leaned out of. Then she was gone.

Ray knew it wasn't forever, she only went to the White tigers for a bit, but he missed her already. They had grown up together, become close, even when they were on separate teams and she thought him a betrayer, he had never been so lonely. So many things had changed since that tournament, he mused to himself as he walked back to Tyson's house.

Maybe Kai had been better off not knowing the things he had sought to remember, maybe he shouldn't have been the teams captain and gone to Russia. Yeah right, maybes where no good in the present. Now Kai was gone, again. He hoped Leon had had nothing to do with it. Voltaire may be down but that still left two very dangerous people out there. He rubbed the scar of the knife wound Leon had given him. Very dangerous.

Max had already phoned his mom, and she was getting in touch with the Majestics who were touring America for a while. He had been almost ecstatic, but Ray reckoned that was for Tadashi's sake more then anyone else's, this had really affected her.

"And why shouldn't it, they were close and he leaves without saying anything!" he muttered to himself. It could have been angry, but he didn't feel it. He let out a heavy breath, now they had to find out where he would have gone. They had already argued long and hard about that one, and they came to one conclusion, he could be anywhere.

Who knew? Only Kai, and he wasn't about to tell them where he was. Everyone hoped he was still in Japan at least. It would be difficult to leave with nothing.

He walked through the garden, and could hear Tyson and Hilary arguing loudly, Max and Kenny trying to stop them, he approached the racket and saw Tadashi watch them, hollow eyed. She was in so much pain from this.

'Kai' he thought with gritted teeth as he went to split up the argument, 'I hope whatever your doing is worth it!'

…………………………………………….

Kai groaned softly before stifling it quickly. The movement of the metal container was rough and the huge cases inside shifted as it was loaded. Soon enough it was still with a clang. Soon he could get out. The metal kept his warm breath in and even though the container was large, it had soon warmed up and grown humid with his own breathing. He shifted and tried to find sleep. Even though he was so tired, he had gone past the point of sleeping.

He could feel the burning from the cuts on his limbs and his head. He was sure they were infected. After all the filth some of his other wounds had been through in the past, these were the first to be infected, all thanks to the harpies. He sat in the darkness till voices dimmed and faded, disappearing completely. What little light could be seen through the gap around the door faded. It wasn't till much later, when he felt the ship moving, he stood shakily and opened the door. It was almost ethereal in the hold, faint bluish light seemed to float in the cold air of the cramped space between the huge containers towering above him.

He had to stifle a cry as his left leg seized up and cramped along the wound. He hit the ground. Everything hurt, his joints didn't want to work. He lay, panting with the sudden pain, his sight swirling from the ghostly blue of the hold to the blackness of his mind. When he reached oblivion, it was cool bliss.

…………………………………………….

Alicia quietly hummed to herself as she went down in the lift to the hold. She couldn't believe how easy it was for passengers to get to the hold, there was nothing to stop her getting into the workers lift and hitting the bottom button. She had driven off the uniformed man working in the hallway the lift was in by giggling to herself whilst watching him. As her laughter grew, so did his discomfort. He thought she found him funny, and after running his hand over his face in search of what was making this strange girl laugh at him, she had doubled over with the force of the laughs. He had made a quick exit.

She stepped into the surprisingly cool air of the hold and began to look around the rows of containers. She liked the cool, blue space around her, it felt right somehow. Angel sniggered at her thought and she scowled playfully back at the winged, neko like girl.

"There" she breathed as she approached the fallen figure. She looked at him, he seemed to be sleeping, except his brow was creased and his face seemed pinched and drawn, like he was in pain. She could see the blood on his forehead as his hat slipped off as he shifted. Kneeling down, she touched his fevered skin.

"Typical" she muttered, "I find him and he's sick!"

She held his bag in one hand and pulled his arm over her shoulder, lifting him to his feet.

"Shit! You heavier then you look!" she said accusingly to the blue haired boy. She made for the lift.

"Lets hope you get better mate, coz I've got some things to ask!" she said as she dragged him from the strange world of metal mountains and dark blue days.

…………………………………………………….

**Illusion**

Once you were there for me

In my dreams you were so real

I always thought you were out there

Somewhere, as something I could feel

Where did you go?

So suddenly you were gone

And now my sleep is haunted

By things I have done

Together we witnessed miracles

Together, we both saw death

But now I see it wasn't real

As fake as a pictures breath

Now that world has gone

The bubble burst forever

I know that I am all alone

There never was a 'together'

I never realised how dark it was

How false a child's laugh

I had never seen the efficiency

In the way the world followed a brutal path

I know deep down there is beauty

But it's not for my darkened mind

I know there is joy and love

But to it I seem blind

I envy the sun as it burns

I envy all that grows

All I can find are shadows

In my world as bleak as bones

So I go to find my light

To break free from my own snare

Maybe it wasn't all fictitious

Maybe you are really there

How long had I stopped caring?

When had the colours become confusion?

But now I have to question

Which world is the illusion?

I know this poem doesn't seem to fit along the plot, to me it does, but it may not to others, it relates to the fact Kai's been in the dark since the abbey, and is now trying to find his way to the light by looking for answers, only he's not sure which is more fake, the abbey life or the life outside it. Thought I should explain, I actually sat down with a different idea in mind but this came out and I'm proud of it.


	3. A start

Hello all! Uni is now over for Christmas, so hopefully no more distractions!

Glad you like Alicia, and that she reminds you of you! You wonder what's going to happen when Tadashi and this girl meet? Who's to say they haven't met before…….

Alicia is based on a real person, and she's none of those nationalities! I won't say which one she is as that's her business! The mate bit is something I say sometimes (I'm English) and I guess it followed to the story! I'm sure your poems are fine, and thanks about mine! If anyone does make a song out of my poems, let me know, id like to hear it! I collect names I like, and Matt is one of the ones I like! Lol, Tori and Tala are twins, I guess that makes it easier to see them together, but you never know! I did know about Joan of arc, it's a very good tale to hear.

I'm really; really glad I got you right! And glad you like the clothes! I don't know about any pairings yet, but I will let you know if the story does go in that direction. Yay! My poem was understood! I miss chatting with you too; I hope to chat to you soon! You can be a good writer and still be bad in English class; it's just not the same. Merry Christmas to you too!

I know she seems a little cliché now, but there is a reason why she was looking for Kai, and it's not coz she is some mad fan of him or anything, there is an important reason for her.

I know my spellings and grammar need work, but the yours are altered my spell check, some are your, some are you're, depends on what the computer wants! Which ship are we talking about? He fell asleep without meaning to on the smaller one and he collapsed on the bigger one before he could get anything to treat his wounds! Plus this is the first time he's been sick, it's a new thing to him and its hit him really hard, everything the harpies touch rots or dies, remember? He can't take care of himself when he's unconscious.

Tala and Johnny will show up soon! Kai could never be anything but moody! I won't change that! Fallen angles rule, and as the God of Death I take them in, pain and death aren't just delicious, they are everywhere too! Ahh, it's like being a kid in a free candy store………

How's the whole translating thing? Did you get my email saying you could? Let me know!

Go the one word!

I don't think I've read Deltora books, tell me more!

Poor Alicia for having to lift muscled Kai, Hehe, you will get answers soon! You could always have two favourites; my idea of having a favourite is having about twenty!

You can use 'illusion'; let me know how using it goes!

Lol, I'll have to go through the people that own beyblade to turn my stories into books! They might hurt me otherwise! Trees have souls like all living things, so they see, but don't worry, they can't move like you can, if any attack, run! They can't follow you! Then at a safe distance you can laugh at them!

Alicia isn't a 'I hate you I love you' girls, she's there for a reason. I did say in Crossing the bridge Kai had never been sick, and he thought he would never get sick, but the harpies rot or kill anything they touch, its part of their mythology, so Kai has gotten sick from the wounds they gave him. Ray and the others are just as confused as Kai is, although for different reasons, they don't understand Kai and since Kai hasn't told them much of what's happening, they just don't know. All Ray sees is what's left, and he's frustrated, Kai is still his friend, but everyone reacts differently. I don't know when they will find him yet!

That would be so cool for my story to be episodes, but the beyblade owners don't know I exist, and I don't think they would want a whole series on just one character, though it would be so cool to have the episodes made!

Samantha is lucky now, but she's such a sweet person karma had to be nice to her at some point! I'll try and get the chapters out so you don't have to worry about Kai/Matt!

Thank you! You will find out about Alicia soon! Thanks you for sending me the song, I like Avril's music, and I think that song does represent Kai's feelings. Thanks about the exams, they do suck, big time!!

Thanks all, I'm sorry I have not updated for a while, but it was Christmas, and I had to visit family, you know? Please be satisfied in the fact that I will update when I can, but remember I have to actually write the chapter, and that takes time! Last chapter's poem had another reason for being made, it was partly from the story, as I explained, but it was also a real part of me. I used to dream of this man, I never saw his face. He was in several of my dreams were we really did witness death and miracles together. I never recognised him, yet I felt I had always known him. My mums very spiritual, and she reckoned he was my spirit guide, which could be true. Thing is though, he stopped being in my dreams, and it left me empty somewhere. It's all very strange, but I had to write about it.

* * *

Alicia struggled as she half carried, half dragged Kai into the workers lift. She sighed in relief when she was able to slide him down to lean on one of the lifts walls and straighten up. She stretched and grinned in satisfaction as her shoulders and back clicked in release. She then pressed the button to her floor and knelt to get a better look at the found fugitive.

"Well, I finally found you; though hell knows how I'm gonna get you to my room! Typical guy, making out a colds the black plague!" she didn't believe what she was saying, but then she hadn't been prepared to deal with Kai being sick, something her memory did not compute with. She was hoping for a reaction, seeing if he wasn't as under as he appeared to be. She reached out to let fingertips move over clammy skin and drew them back just as fast.

'He's not supposed to go from fevered to clammy so quickly' she thought in sudden alarm. He was sicker then she thought. She moved her hand back to check she hadn't been mistaken, then cried out in surprise when his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist. She looked down and met his now open eyes. Clear, baby blue met clouded dark mahogany.

"Do **not** touch me!" he whispered. Even with a sore, dry throat, the threat was clear.

Alicia pulled her wrist free from his weakening hand. "Sorry, I was seeing how you were." Something in his gaze made her say more, "I'm taking you to my room, where you can rest and get better, ok? I know who you are, and I have some questions, but those can wait till you're better."

Kai continued to glare at her as he released her wrist. She stuck her tongue out at him as she rubbed the marks he had left on her skin. She knew it was childish, but it made her feel better, besides, being childish was more fun!

"I don't need to get better, I'm fine, now get lost!" Kai muttered.

She grinned at him. "Sure, I'll just get out now shall I? How did you know about my amazing powers of getting out of moving lifts?"

Kai grunted back and closed his eyes. It was uncomfortably warm in the lift compared to the blissful coolness of the hold below them. He leant further into the wall, trying to get some cool relief from the heated air around him.

"Hey, you ok? Don't go back under now, I can't drag you to my room!"

Kai gritted his teeth. "I'm fine! I don't need you to take me anywhere!" he knew she didn't believe him, he didn't believe him! His head pounded behind his eyes. So this was what being sick was like. He'd experienced ill feelings before, poisons, drugs, starvation and dehydration, and from alcohol when he and Tala had stolen some vodka when they could, but nothing had felt like this!

He thought back on Tala. Would he see him again? Kai doubted Tala wanted to see him, not after killing his sister and going back to the bladebreakers after the world tournament. He doubted any of the abbey people would want to see him. Then something clicked. He had met this girl before, a long time ago. He looked up at her regardless of his eyes protesting with pain from the glaring lights in the lift.

Alicia noticed him staring at her. "what? I got something on my nose?"

"I know you."

"Well done Captain Obvious, I know you too, I already said that!" she replied tartly back.

He shook his head at her, "you're from the abbey, you were one of the students there, I remember you're bitbeast, a strange one, like an angel, cat thing."

Alicia stared at him, her mouth slightly open. "you remember that? But you only saw her once, like eight years ago! I thought you lost you're memory? That's what they said happened after that explosion a few years back, when you didn't return."

Kai looked down, "yeah, I did lose it, it's back now, clearer then ever" he replied a little mournfully, to Alicia it sounded like there were some things he'd rather not remember.

"I'm not gonna ask, just accept my help." She told him, in his state, how could he refuse? He, on the other hand, thought he could.

"I don't need any help, leave me be!" he took a deep breath that shuddered as he released it.

Alicia rolled her eyes, "yeah, you're in such a healthy state I'll leave you alone! Are you nuts? Just face it, you're sick, and injured, what the hell happened to you?"

"Nothing that concerns you!" he growled back. Why couldn't she just let him rest? He could feel sweat slide down his clothed skin, all he wanted was somewhere cool to sleep.

The trio coloured haired teen frowned down at him. She knelt to look at him face on, "you can trust me, I'm from the same place, I know what went on, I'm gonna take you home."

Kai watched her eyes for any lies she may have been holding, and was shocked to find how deep and sincere her honesty was. To look into her eyes was like forgetting what a lie really was. It moved him somehow, how could she know such integrity when she had come from the abbey? Honesty wasn't a virtue nurtured there.

"Look, you gotta stop staring at me like that, you're starting to creep me out!" she broke his reverie. He blinked at her, then winced as his eyes shot pain to the back of his skull.

"No! Stay awake! Jeez, you have got to believe me when I say you're sick! Is it so hard to do?" she asked him as his head rolled slightly.

"It's a little hard for me right now, so would it be too much for you to shut up?!" muttered Kai, not really caring if offence was taken.

Alicia stared at him before looking away and crossing her arms.

'He didn't have to be so rude! You help a guy and he goes and throws it back in ya face!' she thought to herself angrily.

'don't be hard on him, he's obviously struggling here, and besides, you heard what he had been through at the abbey, more then the other kids, he can't help the way he is' soothed Angel.

'Take his side why don't you!' replied Alicia in mock hurt.

They were both interrupted by Kai. "What were you just doing?" he was looking at her strangely with unfocused eyes.

"Nothing, why?"

"You were doing something, I could almost hear you, just outside of my hearing."

"I was talking to Angel, is that what you mean?"

Kai frowned, "talking to you're bitbeast? How?"

"It was something developed by accident, you can control a beyblade in battle by concentration and the mind, and it was taken a step further. Not all of Biovolt trained can do it, but a fair few can, like me. I don't know how managed before it!"

Kai nodded, it made sense. He missed feeling the phoenixes till it left a gnawing hole inside him, pulling his heart tight like a badly healed scar. He had gone beyond even what Alicia was talking about, he _had_ been his bitbeasts, light and shadow, day and night, fire and ice. Now it was lost. Maybe he could use this new technique to get them back. A small flame flickered in an agreement somewhere in his buried mind. He held on to that small touch, it was all he had.

"Kai? This is my floor, come on" Alicia spoke quietly, Kai had grown strange all of a sudden, and she didn't want him to go weird on her, she had heard what he was capable of.

Kai pushed himself up and lurched as his head spun. Alicia caught him as he fell towards the opening doors.

"Let me help, just a little, I need you to make it to Russia!" Kai tried to push her off, his wounded arm screaming at him to stop. He surrendered and let her half carry him. He didn't like it, but then, he didn't have a choice.

They made it to Alicia's cabin in short time, it being just a few turns away from the lift, and without being seen. It seemed everyone was either getting ready for the next meal or already there. Alicia shouldered open her cabin door after unlocking it and eased Kai down onto the bottom bunk of her two single berths. The room was fairly spacious, courtesy of a stolen credit card. She wasn't rich, and she was a good pickpocket. She wouldn't lie about it either, but the wonderful thing about truth was how far it could be stretched, and she was expert at manipulating truth.

Kai groaned softly as he hit the cool sheets of the bunk. It was bliss. He silently thanked Alicia as she dimmed the lights.

"I've got some first aid stuff, can I see you're wounds? We can talk as I work, ok?"

Kai nodded assent. He pulled off his hat and hoodies so that his head and arm wounds were easy to get to. Just feeling the wounds let him realise how much more he would be scarred.

"Right, now I want you to tell me what happened after the explosion, you don't have to tell me everything, but it's a while before we get near Russia, so we have time. I will then tell you about me, deal?" she noted Kai's nod, "good, now, what really happened?"

Kai took a deep, shuddery breath. She was a stranger, yet it was like Tadashi. They were all abbey made, lies between comrades in a war only led to death. She could take him where he wanted, give him answers he was seeking. It was only right he did the same for her.

* * *

Tadashi leaned into her knees more. She was sat on the wooden walkway, her knees tucked under her chin, her arms wrapped around her shins. The sunset breeze toyed with her braids, bringing them round to stroke her face. Kai plagued her mind. He was injured, and out there somewhere. She knew why he hadn't said anything or left a note, that wasn't the way he worked. Ray seemed to think it was selfish reasons, Kai trying to be the hero, though he couldn't explain himself. Tadashi knew he didn't mean what he was saying, Ray was just hurt, and helpless. It made him angry. She moved one hand to reach to her belt. She stroked the whip that hung there. She understood how Ray felt. They were both fighters, all the team was, and sitting with no way to help chaffed them all. She watched as the sun set, remembering how she had seen Kai leave the abbey buildings whenever he could to see the sun setting and rising.

She never knew why he did it, couldn't understand what motives he had, yet he had done it time and time again. She vowed to ask him one day. Her thoughts strayed to Leon. She wondered if he had anything to do with Kai leaving. Shuddering at the thought of her brother's ruthless nature, she curled in further to herself. Why is it the wind suddenly seemed colder? Why was she so sure she caught something of Kai on its unseen tendrils? It left the questions unanswered, yet gave her a direction. She lifted her head and followed the feeling. Maybe it was telling her the answer, maybe.

* * *

**Graffiti**

Am I really so different?

Built from a separate vibration

The looks don't want to understand

Their scorn a deep abrasion

Is it the way I hold myself?

Or what I decide to wear?

Or is it that they looked deeper

And saw the scars id hidden there

Shame burns brightly in my mind

I'm trapped in my own embrace

As I turn from the looks that haunt me

I can't escape the tears that mask my face

The scars betray my cryptic past

Graffiti on my soul

They show the world what id occulted

Reminding me I'm not whole

On the outside I am made of stone

Those around my cannot see the cracks

They cannot feel how hollow I am

The spirit they own my body lacks

Whenever I see my reflection

It's portrayed from darkened glass

My own image shatters before me

Why can't a moment ever last?

Each day that escapes burns like a wound

I can't stop the time passing through my hand

I reach out to grasp at the good times

Only the scars stay were I stand

Why is my history scrawled on me

Like a painted and disfigured wall?

Can angels ever lose their wings?

Once risen can they really fall?

If the angels can suffer like mortals

If they know how painful the past can be

Then maybe the graffiti can be washed away

Maybe then from my past, I'll be free


	4. Faith

Hey hey! Thanks everyone, third chapter and over 100 reviews, rock on!

Thanks about the poem, it's one of my favourites, I wrote it for the abbey situation, yet it moves me every time I read it! Thank you about Alicia as well! She's great in real life too, a fantastic friend. I tried to get some varied reactions from the group, and even though I wouldn't act like Ray either, it seemed like he would react that way, getting angry when he can't do anything for the situation. That last line you wrote means a lot to me, thank you, to know you feel that way about the story and its characters means a hell of a lot to me!

I shall have to read some Deltora books! I'm hopefully going to start writing my first novel when I finish uni (still got a year and a half left!) in between working, so look out for my name! Of course I actually have to write it, and get it published, but I'll work on that at the time!

That's cool you read my poems when you don't like poetry, thanks! Have a nice day too, in fact, have plenty of nice days!

Yeah, sorry it was a short chapter, it was the same size as the others space wise, yet was shorter when I put it up on fanfiction! Not everyone from the abbey is bad, some were just there for training (the majority!) and only some were selected for harsher and nastier stuff, making them nasty and harsh! And Angel is just too nice to belong to a nasty person! I think you said it the way it was meant to be said, brilliantly!

Of course a girl from the abbey, where did you expect she was from, mars? Kai is going back remember, to find some answers, he's bound to meet people from the abbey. Besides, what makes it cliché? That's it's something that happens in most stories? The abbey was a big part of Kai's character; it's something that's bound to show up often. Thanks about the poem, I agree, definatly one of my best!

Thanks about the poem, its good you can feel what it portrays! Where can I see the fanarts?! The review doesn't say! Tell me!!!!

Don't worry about the nationalities thing, I'm stereotypical as I'm British and I say mate! I thought the same way about Tala, but before anyone gets funny over it, it does not mean they will be enemies! I understand about needing a subject! I'm that way with some of my poems; I need something to work on! Rays attitude does need some fine tuning, though it's more to do with being angry and frustrated as he can't do anything to help either Kai or his team mates. I can only write angst!

I get sick at winter too! It's a bummer! Thanks about the poem! It's the song before Christmas day. Thanks for the bunny! It turned out fine!

I don't know if it's going to be a Kai/ Alicia or a Kai/ Tadashi, I don't know if I should add a dash of romance yet!

Heya! Right, I'm seated and comfortable. I love you being in my story; you're a great character to work with! I may just use you're poem! I'm really pleased I get you right in the story, and sarcasm rocks! Kai remembered you and you're bitbeast (Hehe) because Angel is an unusual bitbeast. Happy new year to you too, too all of you! Alicia didn't learn to trust and be honest, that's the way she is, through and through! Pick out some nice curtains for you're eyes! You will have to wait to know what Tadashi feels, but you will find out, I promise! Yay, I'm helping you in English! Being insane is great! Wahoo, go insane! They won't take you away, they will have to get through me first! Maybe you need to tell them that dark and sad poems don't mean that you are dark or sad, just that you can understand them! I think I can still hear Max in the veggie room, what's that Max, you need candy? Tough! Mwahaha!

Dude, I was born this talented………….Lol, couldn't resist! I just write and it turns out this way! There's nothing wrong with mood swings! You will see Tala and Johnny soon, don't know how soon but soon! And thanks, you rock for reviewing!

Thanks about making it into a book, though I really think id need the beyblade peoples permission! Wow, deep stuff! It can take over sometimes yeah, though I don't often get to be as alone as I like, and I never go too deep, to be lost in that may be more then I can take, though it does help my poems! Shade of death is a wicked name.

Ray is just as confused as Kai, and doesn't know how to handle what's happening. They made a mistake thinking it was the right one and now have to face the consequences, it's hard on them , Kai has left before in the beyblade series (the first one) for power so he's venting his anger based on that.

Alicia is good for Kai, she's different from what he's used to. He needs some jokes and sarcasm to get him out of his bleak mood! Thank you, I'm glad I passed!

I would love my poems turned into songs, please let me know how that goes!

Let me know what's confusing, then I can help!

They may meet up soon or later!

Read on fellow beyblade fans, read on!

* * *

Kai fluctuated between wanting to tell everything and not talking at all in the silence that followed Alicia asking him to tell her what happened since the explosion. It all seemed like a lifetime ago, but then, Kai mused to himself, it had been another life.

Alicia set to removing the bandage around Kai's forehead. She winced as she could see the blood and pus that had soaked the layers closer to his fevered skin. Unwrapping the material, however gently, still hurt as it was pulled away from the wound. Kai showed no sign of the pain he must be in, but to Alicia's growing discomfort, he wasn't showing signs of anything much. His eyes had closed and his breathing had steadied itself, but she suspected it was taking a great deal of effort to just do that.

Kai sucked in a sudden breath as Alicia pulled the last layer away from his skin. He could feel the sudden rush of blood follow it. The bandage had become stuck to the wound by the blood drying, and the wound had re-opened when the cover had been removed. He cringed when she began to wipe away the blood with a damp cloth, the skin around the cut tender and sore.

As Alicia wiped away the mess that coated Kai's forehead and was slowly making red trails down his face, she tried to continue the conversation.

"How you doing there? I'm not hurting you am I?" she asked gently. Kai didn't give any indication of a reply. "Why don't you start telling me what happened while I get this sorted, then when we are both finished you can have a break."

Kai opened his eyes and looked at her, then he lowered his gaze and sighed. She had every right to know some of the facts. In a weary voice he started, not telling her anything of the pain, or emotion that was involved. Just the facts, just the basics, he told himself firmly. She may have been abbey trained, but that did not mean she was trustworthy with his past. Strangely enough, his past seemed suddenly precious to him.

"After the explosion my memory was repressed. My mind was like a clean slate, there was nothing I remembered. Voltaire took me to Japan to try and make something of me yet since I had failed him in Russia. I continued my training, never questioning how I knew how to beyblade, or why I had skills I didn't have the memory for. I entered tournaments looking for powerful bitbeasts that Voltaire could steal. I became a champion, defending a title that had no real meaning for me. A few years passed. Then one tournament I was beaten and was placed in the bladebreakers team for the world championships. I trained my team and we made it to Russia, and I became distracted." He paused to take a deep, shuddery breath as Alicia applied an antiseptic to his head wound. As she began to wrap it in clean bandaging, he carried on. She was a good listener as she worked.

"Russia tugged at my mind, I remembered the language and the streets without knowing how. We found Balkov abbey by accident and I saw Boris for the first time since the explosion. I recognised him but it was a face that seemed familiar, like déjà vu, there was nothing to explain why. We left but the abbey called to me, dragged me back. I went back, and discovered parts of my past id buried. Boris knew how to play me, knew how to get me back. I joined Biovolt again, drunk with power. I became part of the demolition boys, despite the differences between me and the others. I then realised where I should be, and went back to the bladebreakers. I returned the source of power they had bribed me with and battled as a bladebreaker. Voltaire tried to get me back, not to the demolition boys, but to him. I declined, though kept his bribe. Since then I stayed with the bladebreakers when we went back to Japan."

Alicia had finished with his head and had started to unwrap his left arm. Kai wanted to sink into complete oblivion; even the dimmed lights hurt his eyes.

"Do you want to continue?" asked Alicia cautiously, to her, Kai did not look good.

Kai shook his head, he couldn't stay awake. "Kai? Kai! Stay with me! I have to get something in you to fight this infection, dude wake up!!" Alicia had abandoned the arm to gently shake Kai's shoulders. His head lolled to one side and he muttered a "leave me alone". His eyes fluttered closed and his freshly bandaged brow creased.

"I need to sleep, just for a while" Kai almost whispered to her.

"Kai, I need to find something to fight the infection, stay with me, I gotta know if there's something you can't take."

Kai opened his eyes, a sudden fierceness in the pained depths. "I will not take anything! I will fight this on my own!"

Alicia leaned back; this was more like the Kai she had heard about, and it both scared and reassured her. She watched as Kai leaned back to lie on the bed, saw him sigh as he closed his eyes. She reached out to carry on sorting his arm out, almost sighing herself when he didn't react to it.

'Well Angel, looks like we gotta wait for some more of our answers, it's weird, I sorta expected him like this, and yet I didn't, you know? What if he can't help?' Alicia poured her worries into her bitbeast.

Angel twitched her cat-like ears as she watched through Alicia's baby blue eyes. She reached out a hand to soothe her partner's fears. 'He will be able to help; it's a part of him, like it is us.'

Something was being hidden by the neko-angel. Alicia could feel the tension. 'You're worried too, what is it?' she asked as she cleaned and wrapped he arm.

Angel paused before answering. 'There's something about him, it's like he had a joining, like us, but it's gone, it worries me, it's like seeing a person cut in half and still living. He's in so much pain, inside and out. I don't know how he keeps going.'

Alicia mentally looked at her bitbeast. 'There's more, isn't there.'

Angel nodded, her hands reaching to grasp her tail which seemed to have a mind of its own. She soothed her tail, the part of her that always betrayed what she was feeling. 'the bitbeast he was joined with, it's still there, but not, the connection between them is so small and weak, if it's broken Kai might not survive it, they were that joined. It's so unnatural, it creeps me out! There's something so odd about this it makes my skin crawl!'

'Id let go of you're tail if I were you, you're gonna break it!' Alicia tried to lighten her bitbeasts mood, angel responded by loosening her hold and smiling a little.

Alicia looked back at Kai as he slept deeply. She couldn't give him anything without his knowledge and consent, the only thing she could do was finish cleaning his wounds and wait. She huffed to herself as she reached for his right arm. Why didn't anything work out right?

* * *

Dark eyes glinted in the fake light of the ships hallway. Leon lifted his head from the door. He smiled as he walked in the direction of his own cabin, to him; this was all just too good. He reached his large suite and locked the door firmly behind him, then flipped out a mobile phone.

"What is it?" came the answer.

"Be nice Boris, I don't call home every day" replied Leon as he sat and stretched out leisurely on the luxurious settee that occupied only a small space in the large room.

"Don't play games! What have you to report?" Boris was obviously not in a good mood.

"I see you're still upset about Voltaire, so lets cheer you up shall we? Kai is on his way to Russia, with an abbey girl. He's weak and injured, but still alive, so he should be easy to recapture." Leon reported as he reached behind him to select an apple from the fruit bowl on the small lamp table at one end of the sofa. He sighed in delight as he bit into the sweet yet tangy fruit.

"Is that it? You've been tailing him for how long now? There is more to report!"

Anger flashed in Leon's inky blue eyes. He sat up, the apple temporarily forgotten. "Remember who's in charge here Boris! I run Biovolt now, not you!"

I apologise, I am still trying to overcome the loss of Voltaire in this, I forgot my station. Now please, if there is more, tell me."

"Your lapse is already forgiven, and yes, there is more to this. It seems Kai's little friends have betrayed him and he's left them. As I've find out, they tried to remove the bitbeasts from him. Before you ask, they did not succeed. The court deemed it that only Voltaire knew how to do the process and he has suppressed the two bitbeasts instead. We only have to awaken them. It has, on the plus side for us, weakened Kai to some degree as well. He will be easy to acquire." Leon picked the apple back up and took a self satisfied bite from it.

"This all seems too easy. And you have yet to tell me you're plans with Kai once we have retrieved him!" replied Boris, obviously having some trouble with Leon's authority.

"All in good time Boris, now make the preparations I left with you and I'll make sure Kai gets to Russia in one piece", Leon hung up before giving Boris the chance to reply.

"Now all I have to worry about is what to do with my sister. Boris may be a good henchman, but I need a bodyguard! Maybe Kai leaving will flush her out. Till then, plans must be made for our little boy's homecoming. It always makes me wonder Kai, how you keep carrying on when you should just die!

The question was left hanging in the air as Leon took on the role Voltaire had left him.

* * *

Tadashi watched the final orange streaks turn a greyish blue as the sun finally set. She stood, the wind picking at her clothes. She turned back to the building, where everyone else was moving around, sorting out something to eat for dinner. She fingered the necklace Kai had given her. Why must she lose the one person she truly cared about? Her real brother was not even human enough emotionally for her to connect with, but Kai was something different. Now he was gone and she was determined to find him!

The wind had told her something, it sounded like something out of a fairy tale, a myth, but then there was always a grain of truth in a myth. It was finding that grain. She walked into the warmth of the Granger household. She passed Max in the hallway as he chatted on the phone and entered the kitchen. Samantha looked up and smiled wearily as she finished setting the table.

"Hey Tad, you hungry?" the redhead asked as she started placing bowls and plates piled high with steaming food that made Tadashi nauseous.

"Not really, but I do have something to tell everyone when we are all seated."

Samantha nodded and turned to the cooker's hob to move a large saucepan of soup to the table. Tadashi decided to gather the others for the meal, what she had to say was important.

Soon enough everyone was seated. Tadashi waited till the rush for food had subdued into casual eating and friendly conversation before asking them for silence.

"I'm sorry to do this when you are eating, but it is important and you are all here." She continued to finger the small winged serpent as she spoke; it felt like a connection to Kai, however small.

"You may not believe me, and that doesn't matter, but I know which direction Kai went in."

The pregnant silence that met her words made her continue. "He has headed to the coast."

Tyson gulped down a half chewed mouthful, "to the beach?"

Tadashi shook her head in response, "no, further away then that, but the ocean is definatly a part in it."

Ray looked up at her for the first time, looking into her pale grey eyes he said "I'm not even gonna ask how you know that."

Tadashi looked straight back at him and nodded in reply, it was best they didn't realise how much gut instinct this was, with no provable facts.

By her dragged out silence, it was evident that she had finished saying all she had to say. Max took the silence and broke it.

"I have news from America. Mom caught up with The Majestics, and Robert and Johnny are on their way as we speak! Plus mom and The All-stars are going to be doing loads of research and stuff for us, and a couple may turn up as well. I thought you should know, seeing as they will be here by tomorrow!"

A stunned silence met the blonde's enthusiastic report.

"Seriously?" asked Kenny.

"Yup!" Max beamed.

"Then we wait for them to arrive before we decide what we are doing" stated Tadashi as she stood to leave the room. The rest of the dinner was restrained and quiet.

* * *

Kai was dreaming. His fevered body was a distant thing to his chilled mind. Visions flashed back and forth, making rest worse then torture.

A smiling face loomed in Kai's view. Kai looked up at her and felt a child's rush of love and worship for the woman who took such a part in his life.

"Momma!" he heard himself squeal as he rushed to her open arms.

"Hello baby! Have you been good?" she asked with lips that graced his brow with a dozen kisses.

He hugged her neck and nodded into her silky light blue hair. He could see for the first time the colour of her hair. The slate blue strands delicately tickled his nose and he giggled, only to push away and look seriously into beautifully slanted lilac eyes.

"You ok momma? Was the doctors bad? Are you sick?"

Rhylie laughed at her son, "I'm fine sweetheart, very fine! I went to the doctors to make sure of something."

"What something?" asked a small boy ever full of questions.

She smiled at him again and ruffled his hair, "a special something. It's a surprise, for when we know more, ok honey?"

Kai nodded and looked around, bright mahogany eyes searching.

"Where's papa?"

"I'm here kiddo!" called a deep voice so harmonious with his wife's lighter tune.

Kai left the warm comfort of his mother's arms to the strong safety of his fathers. The dark blue haired man caught his small son's motion and swung him high into the air. The laughing child was then lowered to the combined embrace of his parents. Looking up into lilac then a royal blue Kai felt happy, and safe.

Yet why couldn't the older eyes that watched stop crying?

The scene shifted to match those tears. A small Kai, barely six years old, sat in the snow by the abbey. Blood ran from a cut lip and torn fingers to drop and spread in the fresh snow. Tears fell to join the red stains.

Kai remembered this day, the day he had cried at the anniversary of his parent's death. A day had never felt so colder. A whole year had passed, and not only had his parent's died, but so had his hope, his love, his faith. This day meant death to a small boy, a boy who no longer believed in himself. The pain stopped for the others, why not him? Only three others could feel his pain, one comforted him, one befriended him, and the last mourned with him. To the boys pained eyes, the falling snow drifted like feathers, to lay broken and discarded until it rained blood. His blood. It seemed the heavens would fill with the blood he shed, yet still, it only rained his tears.

In the present, the eyes that watched the past no longer cried. Their mahogany depths were empty of the fire that should have fuelled them. Memories were indeed, bittersweet.

* * *

**Faith's fall**

Do you really need to believe in something?

Why does a person's faith mean so much?

Why do people measure by conviction?

Why does it become more real then another's touch?

Imaginations forge and wield gods

To be thrown at each other or combined

They are there to rule, and to take the blame

When fantasies are hard to find

What makes a man cry for his soul

When his breath reaches its last?

What makes him pray there's another side

That is based upon his past

I am not aware of the answers

There is no one who can truly know

What is real and what is illusion

Or if it's all a chimera's show

Is faith like having trust

In someone you can't reach out and feel

Or do you know deep down

That as a part of you, they are real

I lost my faith with my past

Like dead memories it turned to dust

Nothing left except the dancing fragments

Floating in the decaying lights yellow rust

All that's left is an impression

A faint imprint pale on stone

Brushing fingers can barely feel it

As they trace the faded tone

Forgive me for not understanding

I have nothing to fill belief's hole

I no longer deserve saving

I need not pray for my battered soul

Death will leave me a phantom with no home

Forsaken by myself I will drift to an unknown call

Red and black feathers make such bitter rain

Combined with my blood they mark faith's fall


	5. Coming home

Hello all! Thanks for all the reviews! I suppose it's about time I did another disclaimer, so here goes, I don't own beyblade or any of the characters, I only own the plot and the characters I have made up!

Thank you! Have a nice day too!

I think this chapter got some of you emotional, and a lot of you seemed to get the poem, both very good news!

Glad the poem thing went well! I wanna write my book soon! Hopefully it will be good enough to get to Canada quickly!

Hello my friend! I'm still not sure if any romance will be in it yet, Kai isn't really in a situation for it! Leon will pay for what he said; I know you'll make sure of that! Yay! My poems are better then the ones schools teach! I kick butt! I'm still teasing Max in the veggie room; his poor little face when I eat candy in front of the window is so funny!

I don't think I can say FLACCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATIOn 3,650 times, I don't think I can even say it once! But I can say MUST STRANGLE TRIGADON 3,650 times! I won't flame you! Let me know what the username will be and I'll read what you write! It'll be great!

Kai couldn't talk to his bitbeasts before fusing with them, but they were still linked mentally, knowing what each was feeling. This is why blader's with bitbeast can battle with so much more control and power (in my opinion!). Learning to talk to you're bitbeasts is one step further, and fusion the next! In the first series Dragoon talked to Tyson right at the end and in my story world Tyson would have had the ability to talk all the time if he knew about it. Thanks about the poem!

I understand what you mean, and sorry if I sounded a bit nasty, I'm just a little protective of my plots! Alicia's character could have been anyone, including a guy, but she is based on a real person, one I wanted to get into the story fast!

I can really write sad! Thanks about saying I'm talented, you made me blush! Johnny does have a temper! There's going to be some reference to Tori in this chapter! I'm teaching myself to draw anime, so I can draw my characters! It's slow going though! The best fanfic you say? Awww shucks, you flatterer you!

Voltaire isn't just daft, he's insane! Leon was being trained by Voltaire to carry on Biovolt; it's what Leon is there for. The problem is Kai doesn't believe in anything anymore, he can't judge what is right, and he believes he doesn't deserve anything. His faith is gone, and he needs to find it before it eats him away inside. Hope you're voice comes alive again!

I want that beyblade manga! And I intensely dislike you're school for making you get up early! Bad school! Let sleeping students lie!

Only Leon knows what he's going to do with Kai! It's going to be very angsty, I shall warn you all in advance! But then, what other style would I write in……….go angst!

The bladebreakers are all feeling very bad about what they did to Kai, and they are expressing it in different ways! Robert and co are on their way and should be in the story very soon! Leon should suffer, but there has to be some pity there, Leon is just another weapon of Biovolt, like Kai. Just a very nasty, evil one! The only thing keeping Kai's will to live still there is him finding out who he really is, what really happened to the people in his life. I hope you can read one of my books in the future! That would be so great! You can always ask me questions! I got into anime by accident really, I watched programmes like Gundam Wing and researched them on the net, when I found out it was anime, I researched more and then I was hooked! Beyblade came along and I fell in love with it instantly! I spend hours looking up anime stuff on the net (I have a vast amount on anime pics stored on the computer!). When I came across fanfiction, it was only a short time before I was writing for it, and here I am now!

It's so good to hear people say a poem connects with them! Kai and Alicia are completely unaware of Leon's plans, and I don't know if they will figure it out before it's too late! The reason they didn't think of Russia straight away is because they don't think Kai would want to go back to the place that birthed all his pain. It was intensely agonizing for him the last time he was there, but now Tadashi is starting to think that that's exactly where Kai has gone. Will she go on her own? Only time will tell!

I would never get pissed of about hearing of Crossing the bridge, rather the opposite! It's still great to hear about it as it shows that it isn't forgotten, deep in the recesses of the mind! Not suitable eh? That's funny! Which one did you use? You should tell you're teacher that you deeply upset me as the writer of the poem and that they are small minded people bent on the destruction of young peoples creativity! I wonder how they would react to that………

Now about Kai's mother being pregnant, that was the hint, but there's more to it!

I'm sorry if I'm taking my time updating, I'm back at uni and it's tough to find the time, especially considering that this is a family computer, four of us are sharing it! I'm hoping to get my own computer, but not till next semester! Here's the next chapter anyway, I may not update often, but I do update! I thought I'd add some humour to lighten the angst load in this chapter, but there is still some sadness! I'm having some trouble with inspiration for poems at the moment, so any hints would be great, and it's for this I apologise if the poems don't seem as good or anything.

* * *

Alicia had eaten and dozed, and yet Kai had still not woken up. She had wiped away tears he shed in sleep, and tried to keep him still when he'd thrashed about in dream. Now she sat staring at the small, glowing orb that had spilt out of the confines of his t-shirt on a small, thin cord that she couldn't tell was metal or cleverly fashioned material.

'what is it Angel?' she asked her bitbeast. She couldn't stop staring at it, how did it glow?

'I don't know Alicia, sure is pretty though' answered the cat-like angel. She stretched and relaxed in Alicia's warm mind.

Before either of the partnership could converse further, they were startled by a grunt from the owner of the small orb.

Alicia jumped to her feet as Kai's eyes flew open. It was then she noticed the sweat that beaded his face.

"Kai? You awake?" she asked gently. He could still be asleep and she didn't want to wake him, sleep was the best thing for healing.

She knew he was awake when his mahogany gaze met hers. Alicia didn't let the defiant glare get to her, and wiped a damp cloth across his forehead. Kai watched her movement like a starving hawk watching a potential meal. She started humming as she wrung the cloth out into an empty mug and set it down.

"It's good to see you awake, you scared me a bit. You're a very active sleeper!" her attempts at conversation were wasted as Kai pointedly ignored her and sat himself slowly, testing his aching head and sore limbs. Alicia tried not to let disappointment and curiosity show on her face as he placed the orb back under his t-shirt.

Kai watched her blue eyes follow Raiden's ball. The kitsune had given her life force willingly to help Kai, to form a bridge to Tori, if only he knew how to call her. He felt a fierce protection over the ball of blue light, the only other thing that belonged to him apart from the contents of his bag and his beyblade. He couldn't get that to work either.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you hungry?" Alicia's voice broke his thoughts. He shook his head, not looking at her.

"yeah right! I'm getting you some food anyway; you won't heal if you're body's got nothing to take energy from. If you want to wash the bathrooms just behind that door, ok?" Kai didn't follow her hand as she gestured to the door. She sighed and then exited the cabin, humming softly. Kai felt the warm glow from the bond Alicia and her bitbeast shared fade as she closed the cabin door softly behind her.

He sat still, only the outward movement necessary to breathe showed. Why did he have to dream? Why couldn't he just sink into darkness and stay there? Why couldn't he die?

The thoughts swirled around his head, each one trying to reach forward for an answer. But there were no answers, there never was. One did reach forward, one closer to him then the others at this point in time. Why was every happy memory tainted by pain?

He had seen his parents. Really seen them. not a blurry image, but their faces, calm voices, the smell of his mother hair, the calluses on his father's hands. He knew what their skin felt like, how their hair matched his own, how different their eyes were to his.

The thoughts turned sour when he remembered what Voltaire had said. He remembered that conversation too clearly. Voltaire had told him he was a test tube baby, genes chosen in a lab. Maybe that's why his eyes were a different colour to his parents; Voltaire had certainly been confused by their colour.

He parted his lips and licked them, tasting salt. He was crying.

"Why?" he whispered, his heart broken with that one word. It summed up everything. He could never see Voltaire again, he didn't even know if he could go back to Japan without them trying to finish what they started. He didn't even know why the people he had started to care about had turned on him. But these weren't the answers he sought. What he was and who his family had been drove him now. That and finding a way to bring back the phoenixes.

He wiped the tears away and shifted to the edge of the bed. There was no point in crying over the past's ghosts, how ever bad they haunted him. He stood on shaky legs, relieved to find that dizziness didn't overtake him. His fever was gone; at least he wouldn't be collapsing on Alicia anymore.

He shouldered into the bathroom and proceeded to splash cold water onto his face. Alicia brought up more questions; she still hadn't told him what she was doing trying to find him. He barely remembered her from the abbey. He had no choice but to trust her, at least until he found what her motives where.

He glanced at the mirror and almost winced when he saw his pale, tired face. Being ill had been a nasty experience, one he was still recovering from. He had to thank Biovolt, if grudgingly, for his body's ability to heal fast. It seemed even the harpies couldn't keep him down. Even if they had been part of the plan to rid him of his bitbeasts.

He pushed that thought deep down before it could grasp a hold in his mind. He had one mission now; he had to find out who he was before Biovolt, who his parents really were. He had their names; he knew what they looked like, what were their lives? How did his father leave Voltaire's hold, why had the two families fought for so long? There were too many questions, all he wanted was answers.

* * *

The next day came too slowly for Tadashi. Everyone was making plans for the arrival of more people turning up, and she felt there was no place for her amongst the close knit group of friends. Now they joked and smiled together, eager to see their old friends. Tadashi couldn't blame them, but she also couldn't like the way they seemed to push Kai out of their minds as a way of dealing with what had happened.

"What is it, the denial stage or something?" she muttered bitterly. She was in no mood for this.

She finished dressing in the pair of baggy blue jeans that had chains hanging down one leg, and a black, long sleeved, fitted top. Without a belt the jeans hung low on her curvy hips, but then she had never been a tight belt person. Tucking the necklace Kai gave her into her top she then put on a black choker with purple studs around it, the front one flattened and holding a small purple ring. She glanced in the mirror and shook her head, the braids swinging.

She frowned at how much her hair had grown; she would need to take to braids out before half her hair had braids and the new half didn't. She set herself seated cross legged on the floor and started to unravel each braid one at a time. It would take a while, but she was well practiced with her hair, and breakfast was very un-appealing right now.

* * *

Ray tried to sit still as he watched Max and Tyson practice basics with their beyblades, pitting themselves against each other. He had already lost to Max, and declined a try with Tyson, saying he'd prefer a break instead. He missed Mariah, things made more sense when she was with him. He hoped the arrival of Robert and Johnny would help, and whoever came from the All-stars. Anything to find Kai.

All anger had left Ray, he still felt helpless, and he hated it, but worse was he couldn't explain himself to Kai, that he couldn't say sorry. They were supposed to be his friends and they had driven him away. He felt terrible inside, not even being able to comprehend what Kai must be feeling tore at him. Why had they done it? It had all made sense when the decision had been made, Kai was dangerous, but he was also their friend and they should have trusted him.

He jumped to his feet when Kenny placed a hand on his shoulder.

"They've arrived!" he explained in an excited rush.

Ray nodded and followed him into the house to the hallway. As he turned the corner he was knocked to the floor. Trying to get his breath back he looked at his attacker.

"Mariah?"

In response she hugged him.

"We found her at the airport, arguing with a cab driver about the price of his fares!"

Ray looked up to see Michael holding a hand out to help him up. Ray took it and hauled himself up, hampered by Mariah who was very reluctant to let him go.

"I missed you too Mariah, but I need to breathe!" he gasped at her. She blushed and let go of him, but entwined a hand with one of his and giving him a quick kiss.

"Hey you two, I didn't come all the way here to see you guys eat each others faces!" Michael said, grinning at the pair of them.

"Sorry! Who else is here?" said Ray, a grin of his own on his face.

"Me and Emily, and those two from The Majestics, Robert and Johnny. That nurse friend of yours is herding them into the kitchen, and I'm dying of thirst, so let's go!"

Ray nodded and hugged Mariah close to him as the three of them made their way to the kitchen.

Soon all of them were seated comfortably in the large kitchen, either sitting on chairs or leaning against the kitchen sides.

"The journey was quite comfortable, my father's jet made getting here much faster. It was only a matter of coincidence we all met at the airport" said Robert as he accepted the cup of tea Samantha handed him.

"Says you, that jet is nothing more then a tin can with wings!" muttered Johnny darkly.

"Ignore my ill-mannered friend, he found flying doesn't agree with him."

"It was you're damn jet! I'm fine in my helicopter, but no, as soon as were airborne in that death trap of yours I can't keep anything down!"

"Will you two shut up, we are supposed to be guests here!" said Emily from a corner in the kitchen.

"I apologise, that was uncouth of us. Now, to the point. We will assist with you're search of Kai. He is a worthy blader. Oliver and Enrique were unable to come due to prior, rather important, engagements, and wish us luck with the search."

"Geez, get to the point! We're here to help and to give transport, accommodation and so on. We are also here to show mutual respect for Kai, he's a member of our friends team and a friend on his own." Interrupted Michael.

"I doubt Kai would agree with you" cut in Emily. She glared at Max as he began laughing. "What?"

"You haven't changed a bit Emily! None of you have! It's really good to have you all here." Replied the good natured blonde.

It wasn't long before the conversation turned the asking of well being of other people and to general light talk. It took a while to realise Tadashi wasn't among them.

"Where's this Russian girl Judith told us about?" Emily asked Hilary. The two where on much better terms then the last time they met since Emily finding out Hilary was Tyson's girlfriend.

"Tadashi? No idea! I haven't seen her all morning. She's a really nice person but she's turned a bit weird since Kai ran off."

Just as the words left her mouth, Tadashi strode into the kitchen. Silence followed as she walked up to the fruit bowel in the middle of the table and took an apple from it. The people that knew her stared at her hair which now hung freely of it's once confining braids, the still damp locks straight as it swayed, the people that didn't know her just stared.

Tadashi ignored the silence that went with her entrance and bit into the apple. Finally someone spoke. Unfortunately, it was Johnny.

"Aren't you a bit grungy?" he asked her, his eyes following the baggy trousers, up to the black top, eyebrow piecing and black and red hair.

"Aren't you a bit rude?" was the casual reply as Tadashi continued to eat her apple.

Robert stood and glared at Johnny who glared back. "You must be Tadashi."

She smiled sweetly at Robert, the look clearly sarcastic, "I must be."

"I am sorry for my friend's uncouth behaviour; he isn't used to being let out of his cage."

"That's it, you're gonna pay for that Robert!" yelled Johnny, leaping towards the purple haired German. He was pulled back by Tyson and Michael before he could fly over the table.

"I've never seen you without you're hair in braids! It looks good, though I don't know which I prefer" interjected Mariah, trying to lighten the room's suddenly hostile atmosphere. Tadashi just nodded and stalked out of the kitchen, she had things to finish doing.

"Well that was impolite! She could have least let us introduce ourselves!" said Emily, clearly peeved by the other girl's behaviour.

"I bet she's got some fine legs under all that denim" mused Michael to the other guy's grins. He got an elbow in the gut from Emily.

"Pervert" she muttered back.

"That's Kai's bird? How does an ugly idiot like Kai get a fit girl like that?" Johnny murmured, clearly not realising that he had spoken aloud.

"I think someone's jealous of Kai!" laughed Max, everyone joining in with the humour, all except a red faced Johnny.

* * *

Alicia slept on the bunk above Kai's own. They would arrive in Russia tomorrow, and then travel to Moscow. He didn't want to sleep, knowing what little comfort that brought him. Raiden's ball sat in the palm of his hand, glowing a soft blue. He had to find out how to call upon Tori. What he needed now was a friend, a true friend. Tori had been that, even in death. He leant his head back to rest against the cabin wall and closed his eyes. When had his life ever been simple?

He snapped his eyes open. He was thinking too much, asking too many questions. He would get answers when he could, but now was not the time. He would rest, and be ready. Tomorrow, he would be home, however much a prison home was, it was still the place that held his heart in a cold grip.

"Home" he whispered to himself, the word sounding strange to his tongue.

* * *

Tadashi finished dressing and picked up her bag. Silently walking outside, she took a deep breath. She had chosen to change her Biovolt uniform into something new, adapted, like her. From clothes she had made her own, it was something she had saved till she knew it was time to wear. She now wore tight, dark grey fabric that hugged her legs up to her thighs, just below the marking of Phagus. Her long skirt was typical of her, long and split up both sides, but instead of blue it was now black, a white, yellow, and black serpent seemingly moving out of a coil and travelling up the skirt on one side in a start contrast to the dark fabric.

Her top was a darker grey then the fabric on her legs. It was slightly baggy, giving an obvious hint to the curves beneath it. It didn't have any sleeves, avoiding the shoulders like a halter top. It was held up by red straps with buckles that were attached to the tops fabric on the sides of the top that was closest to her arms and went under her arms to join again on the middle of her back. At the front the straps crossed across near her neck before going round it and joining with the strap further down her back. The fabric was cut to expose some cleavage; the edges seemed to be made of a metallic substance, stopping where it met the red straps further up. Black fabric shrouded her neck and covered some of the straps. It was closed, the only openings were at the top and bottom so she could get her head through and rest it on her shoulders. It hung down her back to rest between bare shoulder blades, and flopped down her front slightly; hiding the winged serpent Kai had given her.

To finish it off, black arm bands rested on her upper arms, a small metal serpent hung from each. She wore a pair of skin-tight black gloves that were fingerless and went to mid-arm on her lower arms. To finish it, a red belt was slung low on her hips, and on each hip rested a whip. This outfit was special. It represented to Tadashi her independence of Biovolt, and it's soon to be downfall. It was her battle outfit, and no war could be greater to her now.

She walked into the night, leaving behind the sleeping house. Her free hair hung almost to her shoulder blades now. Red and black strands drifted behind her as she strode through the cool air. She reached a pay phone at the end of the road and started dialling a number she hadn't used in a long time.

'Ring………ring……..ring…….."

"This better be important!" came the arrogant reply. Some things never changed.

"Oh it is, hello brother dear, I wish to come home."

* * *

Trap

I follow a silent call

A puppeteers hidden strings

It draws on me even as I resist

Entranced to the memories it brings

I thought id found my past

Thought id found all I was meant to see

To discover all I did was play the fool

I now know the trap they set for me

I always belong to someone else

Not knowing what is mine

Surrounded by grabbing hands

Following the traps obvious line

Existence bathed in the passion of fire

Soul bound by icy ties

Created by thoughts so sterile

Born into a halo wrought of lies

Like the fox chased by the hounds

I run, I hide, I learn

So I was made a hunter

Only to be hunted in turn

I think of what had made me

Others tears, blood, and lives

I know my own should be payment

Yet I refuse to wield guilt's knives

Tears so inky black

Drip like poison from a spirit flayed

Why is it that pain circles?

How does the betrayer become betrayed?

My feathers shed, my feet weary

What made me is now torn in half

So I willingly walk into the trap

Wishing I could remember how to laugh


	6. Save me

Hi everyone! Thanks for all the reviews! It makes my day when I log on and there are emails of the reviews from you lovely people!

What's Tadashi up to? Hmm, it shall all be revealed soon!

Leon does need to pay, kill him! I don't think Maxie will ever be the same if we let him out of the veggie room, and therapy is too expensive, so I say leave him in there forever! Mwahahahahaha! It's so cool you can understand my poems more then the ones at school! They should teach mine instead!

Wow, you really love my story! And yes, Johnny is slightly jealous of Kai, I think Johnny-kin's got a thing for Tadashi! Yay, flying bacon! Snow day in hell! Eat the muffins! A poem writer is a poet . If I'm gonna be famous and you want my autograph, id best practice writing it!

Let me know when you do start you poetry unit! I haven't hears of that play but I might just have to look it up now! Raiden is Tori's bitbeast; she was introduced at the end of Crossing the bridge. A kitsune is a fox spirit in Japanese mythology (though fox spirits turn up in a few mythologies!). A kitsune's spirit force was kept in a small orb the kitsune kept close. They were also elementals to a degree, including light and shadow, and had a human form. There is also a thing about their tails, the more tails they have, the older they are. Michael only knew the word accommodation coz it's the only big word he knows, he is a jock, through and through! Tadashi may be prettyful but she's also screwed up, and a little strange! It's ok to be envious of a fictional character, even I'm jealous of Tadashi sometimes! She was Kai's tormentor but she was also his friend back at the abbey. She hurt him because it was her job, but when she wasn't hurting him, she was almost mothering him. She felt protective of him. Kai never hated her for the pain she gave him so their friendship never died. Johnny did call Kai that, so he's asking for trouble!  
Don't worry, I love Kai but love to see him suffer, angst rules!

Tadashi's outfit was a little confusing, I had the image in my head but it was difficult to put on paper! I hope my book gets to Canada when I write it!

I have a thing for the puppet scenario; it just seems to make sense that someone is pulling the strings here. Draw, draw!

Tadashi certainly has her reasons to go back to Leon, but what they are exactly, shall remain a mystery till it is ready to be revealed! She's definatly left the others to do their own thing! Being ill really was a good thing for Kai, like you said, it was an experience for him, and we learn from experiences! Kai is very negative, he hasn't found anything to live for, all he had was ripped from him piece by piece and it's finally worn him down. Now he feels that all he has is to find answers to what he was before Biovolt, when he was happy. Johnny did deserve a smack! A big one!

It should be obvious to Leon, but unfortunately Leon is a little distracted by his power in Biovolt now! the bladebreakers don't mean to be having fun whilst Kai is gone, but they are starting to feel that things are falling into place in the search for Kai. I think you'll survive with all the angst, it makes the story!

Tadashi isn't insane, she has a plan! Robert and the word uncouth are just poetry together! I did see the whole Kai/ Brooklyn fight, and you're right, it was quite DBZ! (I used to watch DBZ all the time, then it got a bit old!).

I looked at you're stories as soon as I got the review, though I haven't had much time to review! I like what I see so far!

When I go to get my book sorted, I'll see what I can do about getting it in Canada!

You two are so random!

The Demolition boys will be in it soon, and there will be more Johnny, but I can't put too much in! I don't think I'm going to do a couples thing in this, I don't think it'll work with the story! Lol, Terrie and Johnny eh? Hmm, I'll think about it.

Tadashi has her reasons for going back to Leon, and all will be revealed soon! Uni is a pain in the ass, a big one!

Like I said before, I'm not going to do a relationship thing, besides, not all relationships make people happy and romantic, a good relationship shouldn't change you at all. And Kai does deserve some happiness. Kai may not be happy till the end of this story, and that's only a might be! Thanks about the poems! I cry easily too, it's a bit of a curse!

It's great to still get the occasional review from crossing the bridge, letting me know people are reading it before this one!

Tadashi wants the abbey gone for good, and if that means losing all she has gained she's willing to do it. You weren't rude or impolite! That's a very fair question I have no problem answering. I did say Leon was bi, and I have no problems with yaoi, and will read it. To me it's just another kind of relationship, preferences are a persons own and all that. Some of the best stories I've read are yaoi!

I really am sorry about how long it's taken to update, I've had a hell of a lot of work from uni to get done!

* * *

Alicia awoke with a start. Sitting up abruptly and looking about her, it took her a while to remember she was on a ship on the way back to Russia. She stretched, smiling as she felt something in her back click in a satisfying way. She tucked a lock of her hair back behind her ear in an attempt to tame the tousled mane and looked over the side of the bed. She frowned as she looked at Kai's empty bunk.

"Bloody typical!" she muttered as she hopped down from the top bunk. Rolling her shoulders she walked to her bag and started to sift through, finding something to wear. She yanked out some clothes and entered the bathroom. Barely five minutes had passed before she came back out, fully dressed. Her fitted jeans hugged low on her hips, the dark blue denim flaring out dramatically over her new rock boots (best bloody boots in the whole damn world!). Her black tank top was also fitted, the low neckline covered with black mesh to her neck. A small black choker adorned her throat, its small blue stone in the centre catching the light softly, and fitted, black, fingerless gloves graced her arms up to between her elbow and shoulder. Her hair had been tamed into a pair of spiky bunches. Angel's blade made a bump in one of her front pockets. She raised her eyebrow approvingly at her image in the mirror and left the room, humming a catchy tune as she locked the door and made her way to the deck.

'We could have been looking for Kai ages ago, but nooo, you had to preen in the mirror!' teased angel to her partner.

'That coming from a bitbeast who is part cat? You spend more time grooming then I do breathing! Besides, I don't need to preen, I know I look damn good anyway!' replied Alicia, running her hand through her wispy bangs cheekily, to which angel rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue. The pair bantered till they made it to the deck.

'Now where is he? You sure he's up here?' Alicia questioned angel.

'You doubt me? Of course he is, I can feel that strange energy from him, he's the only person on this entire ship that feels like he does, empty, distracted and focused at the same time, and like there's only half of him. He's up here, near the front.'

'I don't doubt you, I was just making sure! He sure is messed up huh?' Alicia finished there as she turned a small bend and Kai loomed into view.

He was leaning against the rail, looking over the edge into the water below as it rushed past as swirling foam. He had put on his coat, the dark garment covering him nearly completely, his trainer clad feet just visible, his face and hair covered by the coats deep hood. A fresh, salty breeze shifted the heavy material and Kai drew the coat closer around him.

Alicia was startled when he spoke.

"I know you're there, you can come closer, I'm in no mood to bite" Kai said to her without giving any other indication on knowing she was there.

She sighed and walked to stand next to him. "About two more hours and we'll be there!" she said, trying to sound cheerful. She was happy about going home, but she had a feeling Kai didn't share that emotion with her.

"Home….." he whispered, Alicia almost missing hearing it.

"Yeah, I guess it really is home! I can't wait to see my friends again, and sleep in my own bed! Bliss!"

Kai didn't answer, just continued to stare into the water. His hand on the rail clenched momentarily, the skin on his knuckles turning white from the pressure before he relaxed his grip. Alicia felt a flare of something in him that angel could sense, a small spark glowing brighter and warmer for just a moment, before fading back to the dull heat he seemed filled with. For some reason, the day seemed darker, the breeze more chill. Alicia hugged herself as the sense of foreboding took over. Something wasn't right, but what it was eluded her.

* * *

Tadashi had only to wait an hour before a car had arrived for her. Biovolts ties were still fixed in Japan, and Leon seemed to be able to fulfil such whims as picking up his traitorous sibling.

'Well' Tadashi mused, 'he is in charge now. I just hope he doesn't approach Kai without me there, otherwise things could get messy!'

It wasn't long before she was being driven into an airport, one of Biovolts small jet's waiting for her. She was going back to Russia, she was going to help Kai, and she was going to destroy her brother.

* * *

Mornings were usually busy enough in the Granger household. Now with more people in the house, mornings were chaos.

"Man, I'm starved, what's for breakfast?"

"Whatever you make you lazy git!"

"Mariah! Did you use my hairbrush!"

"Since you're in the kitchen, I'll have bacon!"

"Who used the last of the toothpaste?"

"Is it so hard to put the toilet seat down when you're done!"

"Is it so hard to look before you sit?"

"If I hear the word uncouth once more I'm going to rip out you throat and stuff it….ow! What did you hit me for?"

"Where's my bandana?"

"I can't believe you sat on Dizzy!"

The noise didn't go down until late into the morning. Soon everyone was outside in the weak sun, practicing blading, watching each other, or chatting. Underneath the calm, friendly façade beat worried hearts and sick minds. No one knew where Kai was, and getting started seemed almost impossible. All they had was Tadashi's clue about the coast being involved.

Samantha came out from the house, her delicate face creased with concern.

"Sam? What is it?" asked Mariah, stopping her battle with Emily to rush forward to the nurse.

"Has anyone seen Tadashi? I know she's been acting funny lately so I didn't think twice about her not being around this morning, I thought maybe she had gone for a walk or something as she wasn't there when I went to wake you, but she hasn't come back, and her things are missing. All that's there is her bedding." Samantha managed what she had to say in one go, barely pausing for breath.

Tyson walked up to the growing group, a look of determination on his face shared by everyone else.

"Then we go look for her, and for Kai."

No-one disagreed.

* * *

Tadashi watched the clouds drift by beneath the jet. Soon she would be in Russia, waiting for her brother's ship to dock. Waiting to see the poisonous person now in charge of Biovolt.

'Why is it that as soon as we get rid of the danger, more comes along?' She asked herself, knowing she couldn't answer. She stopped one of the attendants on the jet.

"Is there anyway I can communicate with someone on the ground from up here?"

"No phones madam, but you're brother did leave you a device that will send a message, do you require it?" the uniformed woman replied in brisk Russian.

"Yes I do, as soon as you can; there is something important I must tell him." replied Tadashi with a wave of her hand, looking out of the window instead of at the attendant.

The lady left and it was only a few moments before she returned with a small handheld device, almost like a very small laptop, with Biovolt scrawled across the top of it. The lady left Tadashi alone and she opened up the handheld. Tadashi remembered the small device, a favourite of Boris', and soon remembered how it worked. She typed in a number and hoped to any Gods listening it was the right number.

_It's Tadashi, I have no time to explain, please just accept what I'm saying, Kai needs you, the abbey girl you sent is with him, they are nearly in Russia, Leon is following! He mustn't find you! I will distract Leon, I don't know what you feel about Kai but he must be protected. All I can say is please. There is too much risk in this, destroy message. _

She sent the message, knowing the handheld would send it to the number she had put in, not knowing if the person would get it.

"Excuse me" she asked the attendant, "my brother wishes this destroyed, may I have something to open it with?"

"Of course madam" the woman replied with a small sneer hidden into a sniff. She returned with a screwdriver and Tadashi spent the rest of the plane journey taking the handheld apart. All that was left was to sort Leon out, and hope the message was sent to the right person.

* * *

They scoured the beaches, asked around the sea front stores and boardwalks, and still no one had seen anyone looking remotely like Kai.

"This isn't working. How are we supposed to find him when we can't find any clues?" moaned Emily as they headed towards the first port near Tyson's hometown.

"This will be the last place we look for the day, then we'll have to come up with another plan." Replied Kenny, staying obsessively close to the girl with glasses.

Ray came up behind the pair, "Tadashi said the coast is involved, so we check all the coast we can before deciding what happens next".

Emily tutted, "she's disappeared too, how can we trust what she says?"

"Kai trusts her, and we trust Kai. We drove Kai away by not trusting him. Leave it at that."

So she did.

* * *

The red head searched his meagre belongings, trying to find the source of the buzzing noise that had been driving him nuts for the past five minutes. Finally he pulled out the old handheld that had once been Biovolt standard issue. Frowning at the device he hadn't seen in a long time, he opened it up and read the faded screen, icy blue eyes scanning the dimly lit words.

"What the? Just when things get peaceful, something has to happen!" he sighed, "it was going to happen eventually, I just wish id prepared more. It's been a short while Kai, yet we have so much to talk about. And what had Tadashi got to do with this, why would she protect you?"

He deleted the message before heading towards the door of the small room.

"Spencer!" he called into the hallway. Spencer's large frame filled a doorway further down the hall.

"Find Bryan and Ian, Alicia is almost back with Kai!"

"Right Tala" replied Spencer before his huge frame vanished, leaving Tala alone with his thoughts.

* * *

Kai and Alicia sat in their cabin, waiting for the captain's voice to say the ship was docked safely and they could depart. They could have stayed on deck, but Kai had decided for the both of them to go back to their shared cabin and wait there. Alicia hadn't asked why, knowing she wouldn't get an answer. Kai sat on his bunk, un-wrapping his bandages and looking at the wounds beneath. They were healing well; even Alicia had to admit that, though she didn't quite want to admit how fast they were healing. Alicia watched the ship dock from the cabins small porthole.

"I can't believe how good it is to be back! I haven't even been gone long and it feels like forever!" she said to the window more then Kai.

'Home sweet home Angel! We'll be able to see our friends again, be able to get back to what we know!' she mentally murmured to her bitbeast.

'I take it that means battles and terrorising the locals again?' the cat like angel replied, her tail gently lashing in excitement.

'Ah how you know me!'

Kai interrupted the flow of the mental conversation. "Please don't do that."

"Do what?" Alicia asked, confused as to why Kai would want her to stop looking out of the window, or stop standing.

"Talk to Angel, it's like a fly in my ear" Kai replied, pulling down his long dark sleeves over his now exposed wounds. Alicia didn't apologize. She and Angel stopped their talking through respect for the request, but Alicia deemed Kai rude for asking.

She didn't have long to brood on it as a few moments later the ships intercom declared it safe for them to leave the ship. They picked up their belongings, Kai refusing help from Alicia, and made their way down to the dock.

Once on the concrete beside the ship, Alicia ran ahead into the crowd waiting there. Kai followed and stopped in his tracks when he saw who Alicia was with.

"Ian! You still haven't grown! Spencer, you big lug, did ya miss me? Bryan, come on, give me a huggie wuggie!" Alicia said to each of the people there, earning her scowls that hid smiles.

"Welcome back Kai" said Tala. Kai ran his eyes over his old team mates, finally locking eyes with one of his oldest friends and enemies.

"Tala" he whispered.

Tala's own face was one of confusion, Kai looked terrible, dark rings beneath his eyes, his skin paler then normal, and the haunted look in his pained eyes, eyes that threatened to roll back into their sockets. What had happened?

Tala strode forward with Ian at his side, "Kai?"

Kai shook his head and stood straighter, no weakness, not now, not ever! "I'm fine, surprised to see you here, we have to talk."

Tala nodded, "yes we do, about much. Let's get out of here, Bryan, scout ahead, Ian, take the rear, Spencer, keep an eye on Alicia, and Alicia! Don't stick you're tongue out at me!"

"Still in charge Tala?" asked Kai, a small smile on his pale face.

"Always, Kai, what happened to you? I was ready to hate you, and I'm sure you want to hate me, but still be comrades. Something's very wrong with you, we can all see it."

"Nothing gets by you does it? I just need one things Tala, I just hope you can do it."

"What is it Kai?"

"Save me" was the only reply he got.

* * *

Save me

I'm seeing the world through a mist of tears

Like a window painted with rain

The jagged patterns crystallize

My hand upon it leaves a pretty stain

Heal me

Everyone wants something from me

When I've nothing left to give

Again and again they call to me

Wearing down my will to live

Protect me

Why is it forgiveness is so hard

When it's so easy to forget

Drowning in a world of memories

Only in betrayal can a saviour be met

Deceive me

My body feels like living carrion

Scavengers have already picked me apart

Black feathers gleam blue in flight

As they leave me with a shattered heart

End me

A sword for another's fight

Bloodied and left to rust

Till once again the horn is sounded

And battered weapons are again thrust

Wield me

I experience the blazes I make

With ashen eyes and skin in turn

Putting my hands into the fire

Just to feel the burn

Forge me

Where do the victims go

When there's no place left to hide?

No heaven sent wings to hold them

No one to shield them now they've lied

Release me

I feel myself falling

I failed, I went over the line

Now my grip starts fading

The bonds of life have frayed too fine

Save me


	7. Plans

Hey all! Can you believe it, nearly 200 reviews already! Its so unbelievable how much my story seems to be appreciated, I never expected such support when I first started out. The people that read this story, all of you out there, are the ones that keep it going. Its amazing how people I could never know are reading and reviewing, so I thank you, you give me support for writing I don't get elsewhere.

Lost for words! That says it all!

Thank you for the hundredth review! I think I'm going to have to practice my autograph skills soon! You can act like a mad fan girl, just this once, I won't tell anyone (it _is_ Tala after all!) and let's face it, Tala would like anything you want him too! Alicia is the way she is with the D-boys for a reason, it shall all be clear soon…. Tala will never get over the death of his twin, but maybe something will ease the pain.

Never guess with me, I'm too random!

Don't feel horrible or apologise for not reviewing before! You have now and that makes up for it. I've seen the fights, both of them! It was so weird with the wings and shit! It completely makes up for not reviewing, hope to hear from you again!

Tala deleted the message because Tadashi told him to destroy it. It was too dangerous if someone found it and it got back to Leon. Tala and Kai don't hate each other, there's nothing, even in the anime to say they do. Tala got jealous of Kai when Kai returned to the demolition boys in the first series because of the attention Kai got, but hate wasn't in it. As for the whole Kai being responsible for Tori's death and all that, you shall have to read and find out!

Short! It wasn't short! My chapters are longer then they used to be! Seriously, if they were longer id never get round to updating! I'm sure you're poems are fine!

My book is going to a fantasy genre novel. Set in a different world with elves, elementals, mythical creatures and all that, sounds typically cheesy I know but its going to be great, I've got characters and places and plots and all sorts I can't say coz then the book wouldn't be a surprise! I haven't read Deltora books yet, but I will, I promise!

Biovolt hasn't been functioning properly all through the Voltaire trying to get Kai and going to prison thing. The demolition boys took the opportunity to not escape exactly, but to do something else; you will have to read to find out!

I'm not going to make it a Johnny/Tadashi thing, don't worry, I just thought a small bit would add some humour in it.

Leon isn't naive, except when it concerns Tadashi! He's stupid about his sister, overly protective, ignorant, he doesn't really know her. Kai does recover fast, but it eats away at his reserves. He will have to rest to recover completely! I'm trying with the updating, but I've got exams and assignments just round the corner, and my parents don't exactly like me writing on fanfiction when I have uni work so I have to write this when they are not around! But know I am trying.

Betrayal is something that happens a lot in this story! Ok, so you're random butterflies! The phoenixes may take a while to come back yet!

I don't think that poem could be a song either; it just wouldn't do it justice.

You can use my poem if you like; just make sure I'm named!

Creatures of Hell huh? Maybe I know them, as I am the God of death! Psycho is good!

It's great you're in my story, you're a great character! Tadashi is planning something, but you can't know yet! Sending a girl to do a guys job means the job gets done! I guess I must have picked up on you're terrorising antics! Spencer is just looking out for you; he's a big guy so no one would mess with him!

Congrats again for making it to 16!

You're right, Kai and Tala do have an understanding, they've seen each other at their worst and have had to help each other in the past.

Don't worry about not reviewing in a while, I understand, I'm in the same boat with updating. Wow, you're English teachers? Seriously? They would read it? Man!

Ok guys, I know you're all wanting me to update more often but I honestly can't more then what I'm doing. If I could spend all my time with this I would, but it isn't possible. I don't need the pressure, the fact I'm still writing after all the chapters I've done, and I've only been writing for just over a year (crossing the bridge was started on the 7th of January 2004). I'm trying people, just be patient with me!

* * *

Tala stopped in his tracks, Ian almost walking into his back. Kai looked back at the redhead.

"Save you?" Tala asked, "You? Of all people? We really do need to talk."

Kai turned and carried on walking, Tala following.

"Kai, what happened?"

"Later" was the only reply he got. They walked in silence, listening to Alicia talking to Spencer, who was typically quiet, smiling and replying here and there.

Now it was Kai's turn to ask a question.

"What's with Alicia? Why did you send her?"

"Nothing gets by you either! Alicia has certain skills that made her good for the mission. She's also good for the group. You'll understand when we get back." Stated Tala.

Kai raised his eyebrow at his old comrade.

Tala sighed, "Ok, ok! Alicia is good for the group because she helps undo the emotional damage Biovolt did to us, especially with Bryan. Granted he'd still kill you in a battle but she did get him to smile once. We considered it good progress."

Kai slipped a small smile himself, "she's been at Biovolt for as long as we have, why isn't she like the others?"

"Biovolt had many groups of us, all doing different things. We only recently managed to find this out and get the groups together. It was a shock to see how big Biovolt had become. Alicia was part of a street group, thieving and spying. She is very good at what she does, and since she spent so much time out of Biovolts main area, her training was a lot different."

Kai nodded, looking at Alicia in a new light. If she could help the others, maybe she could help him…………………….'no!' he told himself firmly, he needed to do this alone. Involving her would get her hurt.

They walked the rest of the way in silence. Kai looked at the town of Vladivostok. It was similar to Moscow, yet so different. They had walked for about forty minutes before entering a large train station.

"We've all been paid for, our train will be leaving in about ten minutes, and we need to find our cabins!" called Alicia from ahead of them.

"I take it Alicia's 'skills' helped pay for this?" asked Kai, glancing at Tala.

Tala grinned in return, "why, however did you guess?"

Kai shook his head, they had changed. Everything had changed. Had they changed so much he would never get his answers? His thoughts turned dark and brooding as he followed the others onto a long train and down a small, dark corridor. They came across two doors. Alicia took charge.

"Right, Spencer! Ian! Bryan! You take that room, march soldiers! You two are with me." She ordered before disappearing into the other room. Kai followed her as Spencer and Ian went into their cabin, leaving Tala and Bryan talking quietly in the small corridor.

Alicia had already claimed the separate bunk in the tiny room, leaving the bunk beds on the other wall for him and Tala. She stretched on the small bed like a cat, turned onto her side, and hugged a pillow with a relieved sigh. Kai pulled himself onto the top bunk, leaving his bag under the bottom one.

"Kai?" came Alicia's tentative voice. He didn't reply. He was tired, right down to his core. There were no reserves left. That had only happened a few times before in his life, and it left him feeling dead inside.

"ok, I guess you're tired, me too, I just wanted to warn you that things back home aren't what you would remember. Biovolts still at large, and you won't be safe. I don't know why you came back to Russia; it could possibly be the biggest mistake you make. Now don't snore coz I need my beauty sleep!"

Kai heard her turning and her breathing even out. He could hear Tala and Bryan murmuring beyond the door, too quiet for him to make out the words. He could feel his heart beating dully in his chest, each thump telling him he was alive, yet the thump seemed to echo. How empty did he have to be before he could give up? By the time Tala entered the cabin, the train had been moving for a while, and Kai was deep in healing sleep.

The redhead looked at Kai sleeping. He frowned at Kai's drawn and pale face, washed out and pained. The set of the bluenette's mouth showed that things were not right.

"I was so ready to hate you Kai since the day my sister died. Then at the tournament you came back and took over, and I was jealous. And yet, for Tori, and for myself, I can't hate you. You picked me up when I fell, bandaged wounds, stuck by my side through all we went through, and I did the same for you. I've made mistakes Kai, like you have, don't hate me for what's happened. We need you, and you need us."

He stopped and turned as he heard a sniff behind him.

"Alicia! I thought you were asleep!"

"You woke me, but sniff man, that was touching! I sniff think we've made a breakthrough!"

Tala turned away, his cheeks tinged red. "Oh shove a sock in it!" he muttered as he climbed into his bunk, pointedly ignoring Alicia's laughs.

* * *

Leon was waiting for Tadashi when she stepped off the plane that had landed on a private runway just outside of Moscow. He himself had been jetted from the port to this runway, cutting a couple of days off the journey.

He welcomed her with outspread arms, "Tadashi! My sister! You look tired. We have much to talk about now that I am in charge of Biovolt!"

Tadashi smiled at him like she used to, noticing Boris skulking near by. She ignored him like her brother did and tried to suppress a shiver.

"Are you cold?"

"A little, it's cooler here then Japan, I suppose this close to winter what could I expect!" she managed to say to him, and that seemed to put her sibling at ease as they walked to an awaiting limo.

They were settled in the warm interior, hot dinks in hand, and Boris in the car behind them, and Tadashi could relax. She was now in a position she knew well. The serpent was coiled and hidden, just waiting to strike.

* * *

"We still need to keep looking! There's more of the coast to check and its still light!" declared Ray as they grouped up after most of the day searching.

"We still need to get back home Ray, and we haven't had any clues so far" said Mariah matter of factly. She was tired and grumpy, as were most of them.

"We need to look further, lets be logical about this" stated Kenny, "he's not been seen on any of the near by coast, Tadashi said he was further then the beach. If you wanted to go somewhere by the sea, where would you start?"

"Somewhere with boats, duh!" said Tyson with a cheesy grin.

"Bingo, I say we try the harbour" finished Kenny.

That was when an adult butted in, "not this night little homies, it aint goin down. We'll start there tomorrow and no sooner, you here?" said Tyson's grandfather.

"Ok gramps, we get it!" Tyson hotly replied back.

They moodily climbed back into the minibus.

"Screw looking for Kai, I want to know where that Tadashi went!" muttered Johnny.

"You so have a crush on her man!" Michael joked, giving Johnny a playful shove.

"I do not! Shut you're mouth you yank!"

"Whoa! The insult! The pain!" cried out Michael, clutching at his chest.

"Johnny! I'm shocked at you, curb you're tongue and be civil for once!" interrupted Robert.

Johnny slunk into his seat and grumbled to himself as everyone laughed at him, relieving some of the tension from earlier, but only some. There was far too much tension eating at those closest to Kai, and that tension was starting to get at the others. Samantha looked on the verge of breakdown, she had become close to Kai in her own way, and him leaving was like losing her own child. The other adults were solemn, Tyson's father worried for both Kai, who reminded him so much of his own son, and for Samantha.

Ray was brooding. He was angry, hurt, confused, and knowing it was partly his fault with no way to make it better made him want to thump something, hard.

Max couldn't make anyone feel better, couldn't make himself feel better, and couldn't do anything that would help any of this. The normally cheerful blonde could feel nothing but bitter guilt he had driven Kai away.

Tyson felt guilty. He felt angry. He felt indigestion. There was something he felt from Kai that was like a connection, a shared passion for the one sport they loved. He had driven that away.

Kenny felt a heavy responsibility for losing Kai. His method for finding him earlier was now a failed experiment, and he couldn't do anything to find the missing link of the team. The one thing that injured him more then losing Kai was not being able to find a solution.

Hilary hadn't known Kai for that long, and she hadn't liked him when they first met, but the rest of the team's attitude towards the cold and rude component of the group had changed her own views. She knew how much Kai meant to the team, could see the damage that was now done, and besides, he had been her first kiss……

Whatever they felt, whatever they thought, they all shared the feeling of a lost team member, a lost friend. What was worse is they all could guess how Kai was feeling now they had seemingly turned their backs on him, and that maybe this time they had gone too far. Maybe they wouldn't find him, if they did; maybe he would never forgive them. They had to find him, and they had to know. It was a very subdued group that slept that night.

* * *

Tadashi didn't feel comfortable in her brother's presence any more. Before she had discovered what she had been doing all her life was wrong, it had all seemed natural. It was her job, she was a weapon, she gave pain. Her whips were her tools, and like Phagus the serpent, she did her job gracefully, deadly. Moving with the charm and hypnotic movements of a snake. Her pale eyes had an intensity that held another's. She took joy in moving, in feeling.

Leon, even though he was her twin brother, was as different as any two people could be. They looked very similar, their features neither overly masculine nor feminine, more defined, even delicate. Leon devoted himself to his task, and to his new found power. He loved his daggers, having a vast collection with a few favourites. Like the ancient crocodilian beast that was Suchus, he preferred a more sneak ambush attack. He was precise, accurate, and fatal. His dark eyes were good at hiding what he felt, but still a small, dangerous gleam was always present. Whoever was the victim of that gaze usually froze, all else forgotten. He took his joy from the pain and torture he gave, drinking in the screams, tears, and blood of his victims.

Tadashi could only shudder at her memories. She had enjoyed the same things as Leon; she had particularly liked Kai screaming. He was a challenge, usually giving only a grunt however hard she worked. He had puzzled her, and infuriated Leon. And yet, even then, she had felt drawn to try and protect Kai, wiping away his tears, being jealous of his friendships as she could not develop her own. She still wanted to protect him. When she wasn't doing her job, she was watching the other kids, telling them stories, helping with wounds, or she was in the library, drowning her loneliness in legends and myths past. She hadn't been all bad. Till the whips were in her hands. Could she ever forgive herself for all the blood she'd spilt? Did Kai feel like this when he thought back on the pain he'd given?

"You're quiet Tadashi, is there anything wrong?" asked Leon suddenly. Tadashi almost jumped with surprise, but luckily stopped before she did.

"I'm just thinking, that's all. I can't believe I didn't return sooner." She lied. Leon didn't notice the lie; it wasn't one of his strong points. Her preferred to attack and then ask questions, or not ask them at all.

"Staying among them has given us information on their personalities, strategies, capabilities. It was beneficial; so long as they haven't changed any of you're ideas on Biovolt."

Ah. He was trying, rather unsubtly, to see if she was harbouring traitorous thoughts.

"If anything they have made them stronger, they are weak minded, especially since Kai has left them now. I don't think we need to worry about them."

Leon grinned his cold smile at her, "so very true! Get some rest, we'll be home before you know it." He then turned to watching the road side go by, content with what he had.

Tadashi didn't like lying; she could never underestimate the bladebreakers, or her brother. She was here to protect Kai. And that's what she intended to do.

* * *

Leon grinned wickedly into the window. He had Tadashi back, and he would make sure she wouldn't, or couldn't leave again. She was up to something, and he'd stop her before she knew he had. Things would go his way, Tadashi would obey him, and Kai would once again be the obedient weapon. Biovolt would succeed, far beyond what Voltaire dreamed!

* * *

Kai shivered and woke up suddenly. He sat still as his eyes adjusted to the dark, the rocking and faint noise of the train relaxing him very little. He could hear the faint breathing of the other two in the tiny cabin. He pulled his knees up to his chest, unconsciously being careful of the wounds still healing on his legs.

He'd dreamt again. Always dreaming, always living. Never any peace. This time it had been a dream of his own rather then a memory. He had been so small against Leon. The other teen's fist had been able to pick Kai off the ground with ease, a man with his lab rat. He had then been placed in a small bird's cage, the bars too close together for him to slip through. He was made to watch as his team mates had been crushed beneath Leon's boot, their bodies turning to dust, their screams lost in the graveside wind that swept past. His own calls for them were unheard. Then Leon held Tadashi in his palm, and he placed her randomly in the sky. She hung by her outstretched arms, held by nothing, her head folded against her chest, refusing to look at him as he called her name. Her clothing was rags, blood dripped from her feet, and where wings could have been were the bones that would have supported them, drooping low against her back. He had turned away from Tadashi when he heard a call to familiar to bear. There were the phoenixes, red and black against the pale back drop. But instead of the glory he knew them to be, they were ragged, weak, and falling. Feathers fell off them, and they faded to nothing where the feathers had once been, till there was nothing left of them but an echoing call and feathers raining softly down.

To Leon's dream self amusement, Kai reached out of the bars of his cage, grasping at a red feather, then a black one. He held them to his chest as he fell to his knees, tears falling down his cheeks. He wept blood. His own, Dranzer's, Black Dranzer's, Tadashi's, Tori's, Ray's, Tyson's, Max's, Kenny's, Hilary's. All fell from his eyes to form a growing crimson puddle beneath Kai's knees, turning a darker red as he continued to weep. The air around him vibrated with Leon's laughter. He stopped weeping and stood, the feathers he held in his hands melting into his skin till there was no sign of them. He looked up and out of the bars of his cage, and saw Boris's mask watching him. Hands came from the dark nothingness, Boris's hands, and reached towards him. Kai stood his ground. An icy wind swept over Kai as the hands pushed forward, and he woke up.

Now he was on his way to that potential danger. He could risk the bladebreakers, Tadashi, Tori's memory, the phoenixes, and himself for answers he might not get. Yet there was no other choice. He had to know who he was, beyond the Biovolt weapon. He couldn't, and wouldn't, risk any of them. The bladebreakers and Tadashi were back in Japan, away from all this. The phoenixes were somewhere even he couldn't reach. All he risked was himself.

He grinned in the darkness of the cabin, risking himself was what he did best. Besides, they wouldn't get hurt, he didn't intend to return to them. He intended to fade away.

* * *

**Fading away**

A tempest core of fire

Enclosed in an icy tomb

A soul that's not quite there

One that has seen his own doom

Fading away…

His silent screams echo

Where only angels can hear

Their mourning rains down on him

Bringing power he holds dear

Fading away…

Like a moth drawn to a flame

To know him is to burn

For though his nature is honest

Betrayal is his and yours in turn

Fading away…

He searches for his life

Yet expects always to fail

Forever waiting to fall

Writing his unknown tale

Fading away…

You can never know him well

In one place he cannot stay

But will he grant that final goodbye?

Or will he just slip away?

Fading away…

I cannot save him anymore

He's fading from sight

Can he survive? Will he survive?

Or will he succumb to the fight

Fading away…

In a world of light he's a shadow

He escaped from his world of pain

Now I follow him back there

As he returns to his fatal bane

Fading away…

As the world fades to black

As he loses all he loves

He will always carry on searching

A raven among the doves

He's gone…


	8. The games we play

Well here it is, another chapter. Yes I know it's very late, but my exams are now finished so I can actually concentrate on my story, yay!

Thanks for the song! I think I should hide all the bishies, before you scare them all! It's good to hear you're going to review to the end, thank you!

It might seem like they are being driven away, but there's a whole story to write, they can still help him yet!

Good lake metaphor there! Very apt!

Of course send a girl to do a guys job, how else would it get done! I'm glad you're liking you're character. You do have a gutter mind! Bad you! Lol, I haven't spoken to you in ages, I hope I get to chat soon!

That's the shortest review you guys have done! Speechless! Who'd have thought it!

It took me ages to get poems to rhyme and make sense, all my earlier stuff doesn't rhyme, it was something I eased into!

Thanks, I'm not so stressed now the exams are over with! I'm hoping you fans will still be with me even though it's taken ages for me to update!

The demons of hell are always with me, for I am the God of death!

This story is so unpredictable even I don't know if it's going to be sad or happy at the end!

Its great my story means so much to you, writing it is the best thing I do, and getting you're reviews is one of the best feelings ever!

I'm sorry you've been ill, I hope you're better!

Id love to become an author and poet, I will get a novel out one day! I will never stop writing, when I do, I'll be dead! Leon will do something to Tadashi, but who knows what extremes he'll go to!

Send me you're poem, id love to read it! My email address is Tyson does occasionally come out with something intelligent, good thing it's a rare thing!

Kai does need the phoenixes, question is can he find them! I understand the wanting Kai torture, I love writing it! Like I said earlier, who knows what Leon will do. If you can, let me know where you heard the dove and raven thing, I want to know where the hell I got it from! I'll definatly update more then once a year!

Ok, you're review was whingy and moaney, I don't need to do an authors note as I warned everyone that I had exams and the story would have to take a back seat in this bit in the last chapter, do you read these bits at all? I will never quit this story, so you don't have to worry about that. Have you ever though of getting a fanfic account if you don't have one, coz then you could put me on author alert and you will get an email when I've updated, saving you checking all the time. Now my exams are over I can update more often.

They will be close friends, romance doesn't really work with this story, and as for Kai being raped, I'm sorry it disturbs you, but it's already happened in the story, and I have to be consistent with what Biovolt are capable of, I don't go into detail on it to spare you the horror, and finally, it was something to use in the story to help explain why Kai puts distance between him and others. It may come up in the story again, it may not, but if it does then you can just skip that part of something. I like Kai angst, and rape is one of the best angst tools to work with.

Now I have something to moan about. Does anyone know who 'Fuckass AKA Dustin Klammer' is? Coz I want to strangle them with their own entrails. They sent four reviews for the first four chapters of crossing the bridge, consisting of the word fuck repeated. This made me pretty angry as it's stupid, inconsiderate, and shows there are some really idiotic pieces of shit out there who think it's funny to piss about with people's stories. If you read this you little bastard, don't fucking bother reading anymore, you're not wanted.

Please be constructive when reviewing, if there are bits you don't like or understand, don't just tell me that you don't like those bits, tell me why you think that too or I can't adjust.

Sorry for all that, but I needed to say it! So you are all reassured, I will be updating more often, now, on with the update! (This is so typical, I actually go to update, and my computer pisses about!)

* * *

Barely anyone had slept. The building was charged with the tension of the group of teens lying in their beds. Each was lost in their own silent minds, trying desperately to think of where Kai could be.

"You guys don't think he would have, do you?" whispered Ray into the darkness. They still shared the dojo, where else would they all fit?

"What?" came the muted anonymous reply.

"He wouldn't have gone back to Russia, I mean, what would make him go back to all that."

"I'm inclined to agree with you Ray, but we can't leave Moscow out of this. Not completely. But until we find evidence of him actually heading there, we can't assume he has, it is a little difficult to get there with no resources." Answered Kenny.

"Will you shut up? Especially you 'four-eyes', some of us would rather sleep."

"Johnny! Little dude, do not make me come in there and make you sleep! The same for the rest of you homies, word?" yelled Grandpa's voice from the other side of the closed door.

Johnny's spluttering of unfairness made everyone smile, but no one really felt like it. Carefree merriment was no longer something possible. Even Johnny's moans of injustice couldn't keep the smiles on their faces.

"We need to make it up to Kai big time, don't we" whispered Hilary, barely audible to the others.

Ray sighed. "Somehow Hil, I don't know if we can do enough to make up for what we have done."

No one else said anything after that. They all knew it was true.

* * *

"Welcome home Tadashi" said Leon, filling his lungs with the chilling Moscow air.

Tadashi looked up at one of the tall Biovolt building that had once belonged to Voltaire. It was dark, ominous and ugly, everything that Biovolt was. And now it was Leon's.

"You're room is the same as when you left it, and the library hasn't changed. All that has changed is now I'm in charge!" Leon prattled on to Tadashi as she listened with half an ear. They entered the dreary entrance, Tadashi noting with slight horror at the bowing and scraping of the uniformed men and women, either in livery or lab coats, which lined the hallway.

"Who are these people?" she asked quietly as they swept through the dimmed hall.

"They work for Biovolt, Voltaire's personal attendants. Now they are mine. Since we had never been in Voltaire's personal quarters, only our own and the main buildings, we never knew of their existance. Come see my new rooms! I closed off Voltaire's personal suite, and made my own. This way." The tall teen gestured down an extravagantly decorated corridor and Tadashi followed. Garish reds and gold's stood out from dark woods, setting a royally morbid setting. Leon stopped his arrogant strides outside of a large double door of dark wood and gold finishing's and dramatically pushed them open.

"Welcome to my humble abode my good sister!"

Tadashi stepped into the doorway and looked about the room. Windows were blocked by heavy velvet curtains in a heady burgundy colour, matching the deep red colour that graced the walls. Dark wood trims bordered around the large room, matching the dark wood furniture. A gold and crystal chandelier hung from the high ceiling that was cream based with gilded patterns creating an eye dizzying effect. The furniture consisted of a large, heavy desk, covered with papers and a huge statuette lamp of a woman standing amongst flames, her mouth twisted in silent screams. Heavy wooden chairs were placed around the desk. Bookshelves lined one wall, filled with heavy, leather bound books. Along the other wall, morbid decorations of chains and manacles were pinned in what Tadashi could only guess was considered a decorative way. In the centre of the wall was a closet door, leading to what was all a guess.

In other words, the room was very Leon.

Leon ignored his sister's silence. "I'm sure you're tired, you should go rest before I organise a meeting to discuss the future of Biovolt, now off you go! And try to avoid Boris; he's in a foul mood!"

Tadashi nodded in agreement and muttered a goodbye as she quickly backed out of the room. The air was oppressive in there, and it didn't lesson till she was almost back to her old room. The corridors were cooler, the walls lighter and less decorated. She barely saw a sign of the servants that she now knew kept the building running.

She made it to her door, dark blue against the pale stone effect of the wall around it. Opening it, she was greeting by her personal space, the womb shielded by stone and glass. Yet it felt empty. The large bed was unused; the stained glass window of a dragon rearing up to look at the distance was dusty and innocent of any covering, the cloudy day preventing the sun from spilling into the room in a cascade of colours. Her piles and shelves of books were dusty, no longer lovingly read. Her desk needed polishing, the mirror with its fantasy based frame barely showed her reflection. The walls decorated with pictures of mythical scenes painted directly onto the walls seemed lifeless. She walked past all that, striding past her closed wardrobe, filled with clothes and uniforms she hadn't worn for what seemed a long time. She found herself in the part of her room she had adapted to practice using her whips. On the floor was what appeared to be blue and grey rings, one inside the other, getting smaller till the smallest one at the middle, just big enough for her to stand in. from there, she could improvise with paper, ropes, candles, even a rather battered mannequin to test her skills on.

She walked slowly to the centre on the circles. Standing there, being back, knowing everything she did, she no longer knew who she was. Along the way, her identity had been stripped bare to its inner core, and she has found it just a thin veil of lies and propaganda. She rarely cried for such a passionate person, but she cried now, for her and for Kai. They were both lost in the ocean that was Biovolts lies, both held by its tangled web. She might not be able to find herself, but she would help Kai find himself.

But for now, she cried. It had been too long bottled up.

* * *

Kai remained awake for the rest of the night. He didn't want to dream again, and wasn't really sure he could fall back into slumber. He had spent part of the night holding a part of the blind covering the window slightly away from the glass so he could watch the Russian landscape flee by, and the rest of the night thinking. He hadn't spent long thinking about his dream, he could see the meaning in it clearly, and every time he did think on it, Leon's mocking laugh haunted his mind. It was better not to dwell on it. He thought instead of those he had left behind.

He didn't know how to feel about it. He was sure he should be angry and hurt; they had betrayed his friendship and trust, things he didn't give lightly. He should have felt something, but he was empty. It seemed like he would never feel things like he used to again, like there was no passion in it, no spark to light the fires of anger, pain, joy, and love. No sorrow, no grief, no laughter or tears, no fear, courage, acceptance, desire, hate, nothing.

When had this apathy hit him? Whilst he was sleeping? Had it slowly been taking over him? He didn't know. He was sure he had felt something earlier, but couldn't place when. Right now, everything felt blurred. He shivered in the dark. Being emotionless was something Biovolt had taught him, for when emotions would ruin a beybattle or a training mission. There was only one flaw of being emotionless in Kai. His power, strengths, and skills all lay in feeling emotion, having a passion to fight and win in the beydish, to learn more of the game, to be the best. Now it felt like those moments were the distant memories, buried deep down.

He was going to get those feelings back. He needed to find out about his life before Biovolt, and how to return the phoenixes.

What he planned to do was cut short by the daylight breaking through the ruffled blinds. Fractured sunlight split the gloom of the small cabin, highlighting whatever it hit. Kai shielded his eyes from the light as it shone onto his face and moved to the end of his small bed. He could hear the other two waking up. It seemed he wasn't the only one the light had managed to get in the face.

"Oh what a beautiful morning!" sang Alicia just before stretching and sitting up, her hair in random disarray.

"Shut up would you, I finally get the chance of a lie in and you bugger it up!" moaned Tala on the bunk beneath Kai.

"Bah! You know you can't stay in bed long, early mornings are part of you're routine!"

Tala groaned in response, "I said shut it!"

Alicia smiled and shrugged, then settled for finding a brush in her bag. After spending a few moments struggling with some hair knots, she looked up and smiled at Kai.

"Good morning, sleep well?" she asked. Kai grunted a reply and concentrated on looking at the healing cuts on his arm. Alicia tutted and put the brush away.

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna go find a bathroom, I'll meet you in the food cart, ok?" She said as she clambered off the bed, grabbed her bag and slinked out of the door. Kai didn't have any intention to go to the food cart, he wasn't hungry and he didn't want to sit there with everyone. They needed an explanation and he wasn't in the mood to give it. He sighed and lay down on the dishevelled blankets. His wounds were almost healed now, but they were still tender and sensitive, feeling tight when he stretched.

Tala removed himself from the warm cocoon of his bed and stood, his red hair needing only a hand run through it to straighten it. Stifling a yawn, he looked at Kai's apparent sleeping form.

"Not feeling sociable huh? Never mind, I'm sure you're story is better heard with a full stomach. I'll either see you at breakfast or I won't" he said matter of factly and went in search of the food cart.

Kai lay there. How did Tala always manage to make him feel he should be doing something he didn't want to?

He sighed. "Damn" was all he said as he slid off the bunk. He shook his head and exited the small cabin. His nose told him the right direction to follow as he walked down the narrow, rocking corridors of the train's dim interior. He held back a yawn as he stepped into the rather more brightly lit area of the train where a number of couples, business persons and families already sat round plastic, checked tables either arguing, laughing, crying or attempting to eat as the train rocked from side to side. He saw Spencer's tall bulk sitting at a table before he saw the others there. Alicia had not arrived yet, and Kai assumed she was either still looking for a bathroom or had a long morning ritual.

Tala raised an eyebrow mockingly as Kai approached the table. "I see you decided to join us instead."

Kai sat down next to Bryan and looked at Tala. He didn't say anything. Tala got the hint.

Kai didn't bother with getting anything to eat, or with small talk, he got to the point.

"I've come back to Russia because there is nothing left for me in Japan. The people I knew there almost destroyed me, Dranzer is missing, and I want to know about my life before Biovolt took me."

Ian broke the silence round a mouthful of a rather large muffin. "You don't want much do you?"

Kai smiled, though it could have almost been a grimace for its lack of humour.

"Kai, you said you wanted us to save you. How? We can't really help you with finding that stuff out" mentioned Tala.

"I need you to stop me from hurting myself. There's something wrong, deep inside me, and I don't know what it's doing to me, or if I can survive it."

Bryan then did something unexpected. "We may not be friends, but we are comrades. We are joined by a personal war, and when one is struck, you pick him up and carry on."

Alicia gasped behind them. "That has to be the most touching thing I've heard you say!" Bryan just nodded at her.

Kai turned from Bryan, a glimmer of understanding now sparked in his dull, dark eyes, to turn to Tala. "Why did you send Alicia to find me?"

"We have problems of our own Kai. We finally get out of Biovolt when things start sliding downhill in confusion with Voltaire not here to run things, now things are picking back up, we run the risk of being discovered. We cannot go back there, and neither can those we have helped escape either."

Kai raised an eyebrow at him.

"There's quite a few of us. Alicia is one of them. Those that don't want to be part of Biovolt have escaped, some with our help, and those that have still got places to go have gone, those that haven't, like us, have joined together. We have each other and nothing else Kai, and we have one aim. Biovolt must be brought down, permanently this time. We need you."

Kai nodded, this was a lot to think about. Bryan was right; they were comrades, fighting on the same side in a sick war. Their young lives against a larger, more powerful opponent. The odds were stacked against them, but then, Kai thought ruefully, this wasn't the first time. They were willing to help him, and he would do the same for them. His search for his past would have to wait, and for some reason, Kai found that oddly comforting. His apathy seemed to slip slightly, and a fragment of emotion seeped into him. With it, an echo of a phoenix cry could be felt. Kai's heart leaped at the sound, and just as quickly plummeted.

'Where are you?' he thought frantically, 'tell me!' he didn't feel his mind fall into darkness, or the calls of those around him. He had followed the cry to a blank wall, and in agonised frustration, realised how close they were, if only he could break the wall inside himself to free them. How little did he know himself?

* * *

Tadashi had left the space on the floor and had collapsed on her bed in an emotionally exhausted sleep. Her sleep was deep, too deep for dreams. She didn't sense the presence in the room with her, watching her. Dark eyes gleamed in the dusty light that filtered into her room from the rearing dragon window.

He smiled, showing even, white teeth. "Dear sister, I think you have forgotten who you really are, and who I am. You won't have time to play the traitor, I have plans for you!"

Tadashi stirred in suddenly restless sleep, and Leon's smile grew.

"I will have you back Tadashi, and Kai will regret the day he befriended you".

* * *

Identity

No longer afraid of falling

Feeling the air around turn colder

Walking for the beat of each footfall

March on the puppet soldier

The direction is unknown

The destination always the same

How I get there doesn't matter

I'm drawn by the calling of my name

I want to weep forever

I want to stop this crying

Nobodies there to wipe away the tears

Inside myself I'm slowly dying

My past is in bloody tatters

My futures just not there

My present wasted moments

What kind of cross is this to bear?

There's no where I can run

But I can't slow down the pace

There's no where I can hide

No place to shelter my scarred face

I hesitate at the threshold

I will never know why

All it takes is one more step

Only one more lie

Beyond are all the answers

To everything that I seek

But will knowing destroy me?

Am I ready for what I'll meet?

All that's there is a mirror

In this place of segregation

I look beyond the fractured glass

Past my own reflection

I see so many faces

Which one belongs to me?

I hunt among the blood stained pieces

Searching for my identity


	9. Of wings and fire

Hey all! I know I said id be able to update more and stuff, but I do work as well so it won't be great updating, but I am trying!

A character death? Hmm, I have no idea! I know I'm writing the story but it sort of writes itself as I go, so it could be a maybe!

I'm sure yours aren't useless!

Wow! That's some pretty deep stuff! I thin you covered the basics there that everyone needs, but then everyone is different, some people also need a place, or someone else, that sort of thing, but what you mentioned is what everyone does need.

I can't believe we haven't managed a good chat for so long! I really am glad and relieved you like your character! 'I loved this chappie' is much better then 'fuck' repeated in a review! It's great you've got your permit! Beware all road users! Hair sounds cool! Mines a dark purple at the moment, and I love it! Its great when you ramble, your reviews are great! You're my bestest friend too!

Thank you for your support, and for not pushing, it's an attitude that refreshing!

Apart from angst, humour is my thing!

A bit of both with the phoenixes and Kai. They are now a part of him, they've merged, sort of. He can survive with a less deep connection, but right now in his life, he needs their support and warmth.

I guess the real word isn't ready for me yet, but watch out, coz I'm coming! And muffins rock!

I had a look at you're fics, and I like so far! I'll read more!

I don't like putting a persons name down when replying as by not doing so the answers are more open and people wont skip the replies that lack their name, where they could miss out some vital info!

My email address is starbugkenny hotmail .com (without the gaps though) whoknows what Leon is going to do to Tadashi; it's all a mystery so far (cue dramatic eerie music!)

I could use that line in a poem; it's an interesting outlook on the scars!

I have no idea why blood plays such a part in my poems, maybe coz it's like a representation of life, and how easily it's spilled. I've found that blood is one thing that really moves people. Ok, this was funny, I got two reviews, one after the other, the first saying that they feel that everything in the story is perfect and is there for a reason, and the other saying the end scene between Tadashi and Leon was pointless as it was all explained in the limo scene. Guess the lesson for me here is I can't please everyone and that you all have some very different opinions! If my novel is published and you're all still reading what I write, then I will certainly let you know about it!

I think I'm the first reviewer on you're story! I have no idea until I sit and start writing what Kai is going to do!

I saw Greenday at the weekend, they rock so much! Yay! It wasfor my birthday!

Again, I am sorry for the long waits between updates. I'm also spending some of my free time learning to draw manga so I can actually put my characters onto paper! Anyway, as they say, the show must go on……….

* * *

Leon sat behind his desk, his booted feet resting on the polished surface, his fingers laced together in front of his very smug face. Everything was going to plan so well.

'Luck must be smiling upon me, gracious lady that she is' he thought to himself. His plans for Tadashi were in action. He had gone to see her earlier on, and had been delighted to find her sleeping, though her tear stained face had angered him. She was too emotional, letting stupid feelings distract her from who she really was, and what her goal was.

Well, he would fix that. He had drugged her. The hypodermic needle had woken her when it had pierced her pale skin but the drug had quickly turned the accusing glare into an unfocused gaze. He left her for the white coated personnel to take down to the lab. He wasn't going to control her by chip like he had tried on Kai, that experiment had almost cost them all their lives. She was too much like Kai; both of them functioned from emotion. He was going to try out a series of drugs on her, to take the fight out of her, to dampen those pesky emotions. He wouldn't alter her training, or her knowledge and skills. Just dispose of the one thing keeping her away from him, Biovolt, and her purpose.

He grinned behind his hands, his dark eyes holding a predatory, reptilian glint. Soon Kai would be in position; soon he would submit and accept who he was. So near, yet so far, and Leon loved every sweet, teasing moment of having success so close to his grasp. His laughter echoed from the room and down the corridors, and anyone who heard it shuddered at its icy note.

Now for the next part of his plan, a warning to Kai.

* * *

Deep, in the bowels of the building Biovolts head currently resided in, men and women uniformed and dehumanised in matching uniforms, similar hair cuts, and lack of personal items all wrapped up in white lab coats worked on numerous, but small, projects. One of them was Tadashi.

She lay on long table; an intravenous tube needled into her vein was attached to a small drip bag filled with a clear fluid. She had no covering, nothing soft between her and the cold metal of the sterile table. There was no need to change her clothing to a hospital gown, for as soon as the drip bag was empty, she would be woken, and if the drug worked, ready to work for Leon.

The bag was half empty; it wouldn't be long now to see if it had worked.

* * *

The minibus stopped rather abruptly outside an apparently sleep harbour town. Teens were attempting to remove themselves from the hastily opened door as the vehicle was just stopping.

"Ya suicidal little dudes!" came the shout from a rather disgruntled driver.

"Sorry grandpa!" yelled Tyson, his hand holding onto his hat as he flew out the minibus and across the asphalt road.

The old man shook his head and turned off the engine. By the time he had stepped off the minibus, there was no one in sight. He sighed, rubbing his head. He turned round and got back on the minibus. In his opinion, it was far too early for travelling. He found a seat and slumped in it, in a matter moments he was snoring.

The group of adolescents wandered into the heart of the town. In their eagerness to get to the nearest harbour, they had been ready before dawn and had bundled the only driver they could pull out of bed. Tyson had been strangely unwilling to go into his father's room now that Samantha slept in there too. The only other choice had been his grandfather, who had been unable to resist the persistent tugging of so many people. Now they were where they wanted to be, but due to the very early hour, there was no one to ask about Kai.

"Maybe we hadn't thought this through guys" muttered Kenny, the only one of them still rubbing his eyes free of sleep. He had been woken and had followed the flow of action, but it had left him half asleep.

"Don't be a pess, a pessa, pessi, um, don't be so negative!" countered Michael, giving his smaller friend a playful shove that nearly had Kenny on his knees.

"It's pessimist you moron!" said Emily teasingly, earning a rude hand gesture from the taller jock.

"This is wasting time, we need to ask questions" countered Ray to the good natured interactions of his friends.

"Uh, in case you hadn't noticed genius, there's no one up yet!" laughed Max at Ray's slight blush.

"But I smell bacon!" moaned Tyson, not willing to disagree with his twitching nose.

After some arguing they eventually agreed to follow Tyson's sense of smell, the day becoming clearer by every passing moment, and signs of life were now being seen and heard, from curtains being drawn, to a baby's insistent breakfast cry. They landed up outside a large café, designed for the whole community. It appeared to have just opened, early enough to receive customers from the boats and ships that lined the harbour, rocking sedately in the promising day.

"I knew I could smell bacon! I've got to eat!" and before anyone could stop him, Tyson had pushed open the door and entered the food serving haven. Amongst shrugs and tutting noises, the others soon followed into the warm interior.

"Hey hun" said a waitress as Tyson sat at a large booth, "what'll ya have?"

Tyson grinned at her, "the biggest breakfast you have! I'm starving!"

She laughed behind her hand, her eyes glinting with humour. "Are these you're friend's sweetie? You guys want breakfast too?" she asked the approaching group. They sat down at the booth and all answered yes to food. Michael stared at the young waitress, taking in her long tanned, slim legs and tight uniform, her bouncy dark blonde hair and her pretty face in one go.

He leaned forward too her, turning on the charm, "so what's a pretty girl like you doing working here, eh gorgeous?"

Her laugh filled the café. "Well aint you just the cutest! Bless you're little cotton socks! When you're bigger the girls are just gonna eat you up!" she carried on laughing to the kitchen with their order, leaving a very stunned Michael speechless and red.

"I, but, she, I, what the hell just happened!" he managed.

"Dude, I can't believe you have just been turned down by a girl not much older, so badly!" brayed Johnny, his own failed fascination with Tadashi momentarily forgotten. Not long after the teasing, the food arrived, though Michael refused to look up at the cheery waitress.

* * *

Alicia lay on her bunk, humming softly to herself. She was trying to analyze what had happened not long ago in the food cart. She had just arrived as they were talking, and then Kai had blacked out. The look on his face had been frightening, it was pained, angry, and lost. It didn't seem to fit.

'Angel? What's wrong with him?' she asked deep in her mind, where her bitbeast was pacing restlessly.

'I wish I knew, he makes me uneasy, but just as he blacked out, something was happening. The emptiness in him suddenly filled with heat and light, and then just disappeared. He said there was something wrong with him. What, I don't know. It's like he's lacking something he once had, and its loss is slowly killing him.'

Alicia knew Angel hated not knowing things that should be obvious. And her bitbeasts emotions and fears spilled into their bond and were shared, just as it worked the other way round. Alicia herself had a laid back attitude, preferring to go with the flow rather then worrying about this and that, as Angel did. They were good for each other, balancing out their personalities rather then being one and the same.

Alicia sat up and leaned backwards slightly on her hands, looking up and to the side to where Kai had been placed on his bunk. He still hadn't come round from his collapse, and the guys seemed really worried. She didn't know what to do, she barely knew Kai. Her only knowledge of him was that he was special in Biovolts plans, until the accident that is. Their fragmented conversation on the _Verity _had only helped her to understand him a little more. Now the guys she had grown attached too were worried, and that made her worried as well. Where was this all headed? How could Kai possibly help them if he couldn't seem to help himself?

She guessed the demolition boys knew what they were doing, she trusted them. A soft moan from Kai's bunk caught her attention. She got up and stood on tiptoes so that she could see him on the high bunk. He hadn't woken, but he looked warm, shifting about on the bunks covers uncomfortably. She headed out the room to fetch Tala. He would know what to do.

* * *

As soon as the door had clicked shut, Kai opened his eyes. He felt strange, weak and drained. He had been so close. The inner wall that was blocking him from the phoenixes was only partly created from his fight with the harpies in that strange tube induced world; the rest seemed to be caused by himself. But what had made him shut them away? He didn't understand any of it, he didn't know. Now he had to help the Demolition boys destroy Biovolt before he could continue searching for his own answers, but a hunch told him maybe he would find some along the way. He could spend his life looking for those answers, and still never have them answered, but it really didn't matter. It was all he had left to live for.

Soon they would be in Moscow; just a few hours of the journey were left. Then Kai would find out what was really happening, and fight another battle, for he had a feeling the war was never going to be over.

Whether with Biovolt or with himself, he would always be fighting, it was what he now was. If only he knew who he was. He sat up as he heard the door open and Tala entered, regretting the sudden movement as his head swam and throbbed.

Tala stopped and looked at Kai, their eyes meeting across the cramped compartment; pale, icy blue clashing with deep, fiery red. Kai looked away first, he didn't have the strength for a battle of the wills, and Wolborg was too evident in Tala's stare. It was a wolfs gaze, one that froze prey and demanded pack obedience, yet still showed some sign of care for whoever was in that pack. Protective, strong, powerful, caring, a hunter with a heart. Kai knew that wolf meant teacher to the Native American Indians, and people followed Tala, he taught them without even knowing it. He had taught Kai things in the years he had known him. The most important was acceptance. Tala had accepted Kai for what he had done to Tori, to others. He knew forgiveness may never come, but Tala hadn't thrown away what little was between them. A wolf doesn't go about changing things, a wolf accepts.

"Alicia said you might have been waking up" Tala finally said.

"She's scared of me" replied Kai, changing the subject.

Tala sighed and sat on Alicia's bunk, facing Kai. Kai refused to look at Tala.

"She's not scared of you, more wary. She knows who you are and what you've done Kai, like all the others at the abbey. You weren't exactly Biovolts best kept secret! Her bitbeast is the one with more of a problem with you".

Kai gave a bitter, humourless laugh at what Tala had said. "Angel?"

Tala frowned. "How do you know that Angel is her bitbeast?"

"I was there when they were brought together. It all makes sense now, I can see it clearly. I didn't know back then that Alicia was in the street group. What better bitbeast to give a kid in street risks then a cat-angel hybrid? A cats natural skills and an angel's protection. Perfect. Besides, I can just about hear them talking together, if I concentrate."

"Hear them! I know they are fully bonded, but how can you hear them?" asked Tala in astonishment. This wasn't what he had been expecting from Kai, but then, he mused, Kai had always been full of surprises.

Kai fought down the sickness that erupted in his gut.

"Alicia isn't fully bonded. I've experienced a full bond, where you become the same, when there's only one of you instead of two, or even three. The bitbeast becomes you, and you it. Imagine it, feeling everything you're bitbeast feels, even outside a battle. Communication is no longer needed as you're minds are the same. I had wings once Tala, and the power of fire."

Tala couldn't say anything. What was there to say? It was information he had never heard of. When he had been experimented on by Biovolt to defeat the bladebreakers everything had been enhanced, including his bond with Wolborg, and he had helped others develop the bond.

They sat in silence, neither of them willing to say anything else, letting the silence drown out the noise. It was short lived as they were both thrown down by the sudden, screeching halt of the train.

"What the……" was all Tala managed as the lights dimmed. Nothing happened for what seemed like endless moments as the compartment turned dark. Tala heard movement and followed the sound as Kai leaned over to the window and twitched it's blind to look out. A small amount of light splashed across Kai and the wall beside him painfully.

"Kai?" asked Tala quietly.

Kai answered by suddenly jumping away from the window. They both shielded their faces as the window shattered inwards, a blast of hot air following instantly after. They both shook off the plastic like glass that had landed on them. Tala leapt up to the door, and was already half way down the dark corridor before he suspected Kai had not followed him. Loud rumblings, yells, and the occasional explosive sound left Tala's ears ringing, and shouting Kai's name was like whispering in a whirlwind, it wasn't going anywhere. He carried on forward, looking for a way out. Smoke had started to haze up the enclosed space, and Tala opened every door he passed to check if anyone was there. People started streaming about him, and he was lost in the confusion and noise of the evacuating train.

* * *

Kai had seen Tala exit out of the door but didn't follow. He stuck his head out of the window into the unnatural heat outside. There was smoke pouring out of a fire further up the train, and people streaming out of the compartments. He grabbed the bags in the room and threw them out of the gaping hole that was the window. He jumped out after them.

He winced as he landed on his feet, bending his knees to absorb the impact of the hard ground. He left the bags and started running beside the train, loosening the tight feeling his healing wounds had caused. He saw a flash of pale purple hair and hoped the others had made it out, but then they could always take care of themselves, and Alicia was obviously able to handle situations.

He coughed as an errant breeze blew the thickening smoke over him, but carried on till he could feel the heat of the flames hot on his face. Trying to see through the smoke, he looked for any signs of someone still on board the burning compartment. Those on other compartments would have plenty of time to get out, here was the emergency.

He heard a cry and looked to his left to see a young woman lowering a child out of a window. The child was screaming as it was dangled out, the drop far enough to cause damage if it landed badly. Kai called out to the woman and ran underneath the child, holding his arms out for the sobbing girl, barely five years old. She was dropped into his arms.

Kai placed the child on her own feet and knelt level with her. "What's the woman's name?" he asked in Russian.

"Rozalina! My sister! I want Roza!" the girl cried.

"Go over there, I'll get you're sister, ok?" the girl nodded and thanked Kai silently with large, wet eyes before running over to a group of people, stumbling on chubby legs.

Kai climbed up the side of the carriage to the open window, covering his mouth and nose with his arm as he leant in.

"Roza! He yelled into the thick darkness.

She answered and emerged from the gloom. Kai swore as he saw her limping badly, blood running down the side of her right leg. She carried a small bundle in her arms. It was also then that Kai saw that what he thought was a young woman appeared just into her teens, though her face and eyes suggested someone older.

"I can get myself out, take Motka!" she yelled over the din, holding out the bundle. Kai took it from her, almost burning his hand on the hot metal of the window frame as he supported himself. Holding it close to his chest he saw what he held, the red face of a crying baby.

Holding the baby in one arm, he steadied his footing and helped pull Rozalina out of the window, holding her arm as support as she lowered herself to the ground. Kai let go when she told him to and followed her down. Kai pulled her arm over his shoulder and helped her away from the burning train carriage. When they were near the group of people the small girl was with, Kai lowered Rozalina to the ground as she could no longer put weight on her burned leg.

He handed her the bundled baby and she held the crying infant close, tears falling down her own face. She looked up at Kai.

"Thank you for saving my brother and sister, thank you! Both their names mean a gift from God, and back there, for a moment, I swear you had wings! Maybe my mother sent a guardian angel" she said, smiling at Kai before she was instantly set upon by the small girl. "Oh hush Mika! I'm ok, we both are, where's papa?"

Just then a man rushed out of the crowd, falling to his knees to embrace his family. Kai watched the scene, wings? Guardian angel? He turned away and saw Spencer's head above all the others. He was by the place Kai had left the bags. Kai walked over to him, and saw the others had found each other and grouped together. Something at the corner of Kai's eye made him hurry to them.

"Kai! You look a state!" exclaimed Alicia.

Kai supposed he did, he could feel the grime on him.

"We have to go, now."

"Why?" asked Ian matter of factly.

"I've just seen a helicopter" Kai replied, picking up his bag.

"There's quite a few of them about right now, seeing as there's been a train accident" said Tala, picking up his own bag, not sure what Kai was saying.

"A Biovolt one, Leon did this, he's playing games." Kai started walking in the direction the train was originally going in.

"Kai, we may be right outside Moscow, but how do you propose we finish getting there?" asked Alicia.

Kai grinned at them over his shoulder, "Why, we walk!"

* * *

**Confession**

Forgive me, for I have sinned

Forget me, as I don't deserve

Hate me, as you hear my tale

Know me, as I hold nothing in reserve

Do the Gods really hear out prayers?

Do they care if we live or die?

Do they live just because we believe?

For if so, they exist on a lie

Why do I question the unanswerable?

Maybe so I don't have to confront the reality

Of what I am, and what I've done

Does Death offer sincerity?

I know I can't run and hide forever

Before I go on my past must be faced

But I cannot make what's right again

As it will always been poison laced

Have you ever walked a path

That you don't know will ever end?

Facing each inner demon

That you know the Fates will send

I'm helpless to save those I love

Life can only be paid with life

I am already in Deaths debt

For I have too wielded the scythe

When did the sunlight fade?

When did the stars go black?

When did the world turn grey?

Can it ever be turned back?

I weep dry tears of dust

I shroud myself in flames

As I confess to the dead

That I've forgotten all their names

Those I touch waste away

Their screams darken the skies above

As their blood stains the earth

A bullet in the heart of a dove

Those I've destroyed are now nothing

An errant whisper on a passing wind

I cannot remember how to save them

So forgive me, for I have sinned


	10. Losing yourself

Its chapter ten already! I hope there's many more to come too, but still, its 85 chapters in total, I never thought id get this far.

Updating may be slow again, I know this keeps happening, but things just keep going wrong. Apart from working loads, the computer is now pissing about, so I can only write when it doesn't chuck me off!

It took me ages to get the poems to say what I want them too and rhyme at the same time! All my earlier poems didn't rhyme, and I just sort of fell into the rhyming. My first rhyming poem came to me when I was riding my old moped!

I'm going along the lines that bitbeasts match their owners in some way. It makes sense to me! Dranzer is very much Kai's passion, his controlled and then burning temperament, and Black Dranzer is very much his mask, his power.

I did read your stories, I don't know if I reviewed! Haven't had much time on the net lately!

I know train crashes have been used in other stories, and baby rescuing! I guess its one of those time old things you can use, and it worked with the plot at the time!

Blood is defiantly one of those things that move people in many different ways! And Greenday rocked so fucking much!

I'm glad I'm not predictable in the story! There's many more twists to come, just to keep you on your toes!

I cant believe how little we've managed to talk! Damn time moving so quickly and not letting me have enough! You can defiantly kill Leon! Be my guest! That would be weird and cool if people actually started looking at my poems in schools! It's a great long chapter! And thank you for my cake, I love wedding cake!

I think Leon has problems seeing the bigger picture! He's very tunnel vision, and if people get hurt, its not an issue.

I hope your exams go ok, don't worry about not reviewing! The train crash brought a bit of the old Kai out, he's realised its not all hopeless, and that not concentrating on problems shows how small they can be compared to other issues. I love myths! Anything that involves imagination gets my attention! There will be much more action to come, promise. Worship eh? I could get used to that!

You will have to find out what Leon is doing to Tadashi! I'm glad everyone liked the Tala description, it was really random when it came to me, but that's how I see him, and wolves! Leon is worse then Voltaire, he has more ambition and less care! Kai needs to realise a few things, but he's getting there, very, very slowly! I agree with the last bit you said, there really is no point to some peoples behaviour! And no excuse!

Never worry about weirding me out! I'm the weirdest person there is! Thank you for all you said in your review, that's some pretty strong stuff, and inspiring! Its good to know where your going right! Id like to read some of your poems! Please review again, and say whatever you like! I have no idea when, or even if, Kai will be reunited with the phoenixes, my muse will let me know at the time I'm sure, but till then I'm in the dark!

Some questions! My email account now has a separate folder for all my reviews! The others have a slight obsession with finding Kai because this time they are responsible. Plus, they were his friends, and they care. Tadashi doesn't know where she's going; she just wants to stop Leon hurting Kai. The Alicia/Angel connection thing is to prove a point about what I think that bitbeasts and their owners could potentially share. Their connection is similar to Kai and the phoenixes, but not so well developed. Kai doesn't really know what he's looking for; he just wants to fill the void in him from the loss of the phoenixes, the betrayal of his friends and from the memories that now haunt him. I have no idea how long this story will be! I didn't know how long crossing the bridge was going to be either! I let the stories run their own course. Questions are good! Bring on the questions! Id rather people ask then not understand!

There's going to be some new characters from this chapter onwards. But do not, I repeat do not panic! They are going to be in it only a little, mostly. They are there to help the story line, and they are all based on people I know. And yes, I have their permission! They are like Alicia! But obviously not as cool as her. Obviously. That's all I have to say I guess, so read!

* * *

Nobody paid much attention to the rather odd group of teens walking through the streets of Moscow. There had been a steady, if slow, increase in beyblade fans in the city, and all seemed to be a bit odd, whether in dress or manner, these were obviously no different, except, maybe, just a little grubbier then others.

If someone looked closer, they would see how wrong that assumption was. _If _someone looked closer, but no one did.

There was very little talking between members of the group. They all walked with a familiarity and confidence that showed they belonged here. This was their home.

Tala lead the group, walking only slightly ahead of the others, Spencer taking up the back with his tall, rather intimidating bulk.

"I cant wait to be home" said Alicia quietly. It was another attempt to get the others to talk, but they seemed to prefer their thought filled silence. She huffed and blew a strand of hair from her face. She really couldn't wait to be back home, back where someone would at least talk to her!

She glanced about and noticed Ian smiling at her, she smiled back. He gave an encouraging, friendly nod with his head and looked forward again.

'Well' she thought, 'at least they don't mean to be rude'. Her bitbeast rolled her cat-like eyes at her, it had been that obvious.

They continued in silence, tension building ever so slightly as they walked only a block away from Balkov abbey. The stress was barely there, but it was there. None of them wanted to say anything about the place that still haunted them, that would probably never leave them alone. The place of their lost childhoods.

"We are not far from our 'hideout'" muttered Tala, everyone understanding why he didn't want to talk at even a normal level of voice; they were just too damn close to Hell.

It was two streets away before they began to relax, the majority of them breathing out sighs compared to the shallower breathing they had subconsciously been almost holding a few footsteps ago.

Kai suddenly felt chilled. He had pulled a hoodie out of his duffel bag earlier to put on in the rapidly cooling Russian air, for winter was closing in fast. He now shifted his bag higher on his shoulder and wrapped his arms around him. It wasn't his normal cool façade, but he was in the wrong company to pretend.

As it was, no one paid him any heed; they were all wrapped up in their own thoughts and memories, counting the beats of their footfalls taking them away from Balkov abbey, taking them towards a haven.

Twenty minutes later they were walking in a rather run down area, old shops and store houses lined the grey, stone streets. It was dirty, smelt of refuse, and had barely a soul living there. It was barefaced, hardly the place secretive, high class Biovolt would ever think to come to. Perfect.

Tala lead them all through an old grocery shop that was innocent of a door and had no intact windows. The inside was old, damp, and musty, though there was very little in the way of dust, and seeing as it was surprisingly well protected from the elements due to the shadowed street, it told Kai this place was used more frequently then its exterior suggested. Tala was leading the group, but their manner about the place showed they knew this place well. Walking along a shelved wall, Tala located a door almost hidden in the gloom and pushed it open. Entering a dark, brick corridor, almost a tunnel, Kai could begin to hear sounds, muffled voices and bangs.

They went through another door and what greeted Kai surprised him. The large store house had people everywhere. The wooden and brick building had a large staircase leading to a cellar as big as the building itself that had blankets separated by curtains, a sleeping area. Small piles of belongings sat upon some of the blankets. Two wooden ladders scaled up vertically from the floor to a large wooden platform to which they were attached. Here were more blankets, curtains, and belongings. Underneath the platform sat crates of different sizes, some stacked upon others. Here and there was the odd beydish. An empty doorway lead to another store house and beyond that appeared to be an old shop.

"This is it Kai, this is home. This is where everyone who escaped Biovolt and has no-where else to go comes to. We all sleep and live in this store house and that other one. The shop beyond is an old restaurant where those who can, cook. Those who cannot do other chores. Out the back is a courtyard, with some outside toilets, and an old horse trough we've hidden from view to wash in. This is all we have." Explained Tala.

"It's not permanent though, is it" Kai stated back.

Tala sighed, "No, it isn't".

Kai didn't pursue what Tala intended for all the kids here, he knew the Demolition boys were doing the best they could.

"Find a space to sleep, there's a few around. Get to know some of these guys Kai, we need them. We all have things to do, so we'll meet up to start getting some plans together later, when it's dark." Tala turned to leave the group, the others already dispersing to do what they had to, but stopped. "Thanks for coming back Kai; I know what this will cost you." Then he left, heading out to the courtyard. Kai didn't see where the others had gone to, but he was left with Alicia.

"I guess it's up to me to make the introductions. I'll only do the important people, like me! You don't need to know the little kids or anything; even I don't want to know them, and I'm the biggest people person you'll ever meet! If anyone says otherwise then I'll staple them to the wall!" glancing at Kai she saw the funny look he was giving her.

"Oh bollocks, just follow me." She stated, starting towards the stacks of crates. Kai noticed a few people around the crates, and on them too. Seeing Alicia approach with Kai in tow, most of the people left the area, going about their business. Those that remained, three girls, waited expectantly.

Alicia smiled cheerily at them as they got closer, and Kai was sure he had seen them around the abbey.

Alicia introduced them in turn. The first was a rather short skinny girl leaning against the crates. Wavy brown hair reached down her neck and upper back, falling in soft curls over the front of her shoulders. Kai couldn't tell what colour her eyes were, one minute looking like a bluish green, the next a greenish blue. She wore a fitted red hoodie that had a cartoon picture on it with the words 'boys are stupid'. Her fitted, flared dark denim jeans had her beige and pink sneakers peeking out underneath them.

Alicia gestured towards her, "this is Felicity, or Fliss, or Flick! She was with me in the street group, they all were, actually, but she helps out with the kids too, though grudgingly! She's good with people, but she seems to think she's not very nice."

"Don't be horrid Alicia, just call me Flick, my bitbeast is Felis, the most annoying, and rather sadistic, tabby cat you will ever meet."

Kai had to smile, even if it was small.

"And this cheery person is Alex" she said, pointing to the blonde sitting on the crate Flick was leaning against. Alex waved, a smile on her face.

"So you're Kai uh? Id shake you're hand but I can't be bothered to get off my butt!" her smile turned into a cheeky grin. Kai took in her short blonde hair and blue eyes, her light blue jeans, biker boots, and thin grey biker jacket over a white and pink t-shirt. She looked vaguely familiar.

"I sort of ran some side projects with the Biovolt street group, I'm a bit of a mechanic, and my motorbikes beat anything else you see! My bitbeast is Sqwolf."

Then it clicked, "you're bitbeast is a fusion one! Like Alicia's, only yours is a wolf and a squirrel."

"Yeah, no one else wanted him, but I think he's perfect, a little funny looking, but then so is Flick!" this earned the blonde a punch from the brunette at her side.

Kai was interrupted by a hand reaching into the space between them. He followed the hand to a girl standing at Alex's other side. She was taller then the others, her curly hair pulled back, her eyes seemed playful. Kai didn't shake her hand, but he made sure his face didn't show any animosity. He didn't want them thinking he hated them.

She rolled her eyes at him, "you're another one of those are you? Never mind, I'm Helen, my bitbeast is a hippo called Tamus, she's a bit vain, but then her armour is beautiful." Helen looked glassy eyed for a second.

"Helens good with bitbeasts, anyone's, she always manages to get through to them, always knows what's wrong" added Alicia. She looked around her suddenly.

"It'll be getting dark soon, and there's a couple more I want you to meet, if I can find them, you guys seen Martin or Peter? No? Bummer. Kai, go up the ladder and find a space to crash, I'll come get you in a minute!" and with that she rushed off, Alex hoping off the crate to follow her. Kai left the girls company and used the nearest ladder to get onto the platform. He found a space next to one of the big, grubby windows that wasn't covered in blankets and dropped his bag to the floor. He was so tired and filthy, and he knew the night was far from over.

* * *

"Boy am I stuffed!" groaned Tyson, pushing away his now empty plate.

"Finally, I hate to think how big the bills gonna be!" hissed Hilary, not wanting to draw attention to the waitress, who would subsequently bring them the bill.

Ray leaned forward, nursing his own full stomach, "Robert already offered to pay, and we need to concentrate on looking for Kai."

"Y'all looking for someone?" the waitress had managed to approach the table without being noticed, "We get plenty coming through here, who you looking for?"

She placed the bill in front of Michael, who blushed and looked away.

"He's our age" piped up Kenny, "taller then me, blue and grey hair, blue marks on his face, has a thing for dark clothes, is quiet, sometimes rude. And he was on his own."

"We don't get many young ones on their own, so I reckon I've seen you're feller. A few days ago a lad came in real early, like you, wearing dark clothes, like you said. Was real quiet."

"Any idea where he went?" asked Tyson, his hand rubbing his swollen belly.

"He talked to Sid and Haru, Sid owns the Sea squirt, little trading vessel. They's are regulars here, though I don't know when they will be in port again. It's never a long wait, they like it here!"

"Any idea where they were headed last time?"

"Sorry hun, no, now about the bill?"

"Ah yes, allow me madam, this should cover it" said Robert, placing money on the bill for her.

"Well aint you got the cutest little accent! And handsome too, you can come by any time sugar, ask for Marty, and I'll be sure you get what you want, you hear?"

Robert nodded, dumbstruck, as she stroked his hair before picking up the bill and heading to another table with a flick of her hips.

"No-bloody-way!" yelled Michael.

"Looks like Roberts got what you haven't!" said Johnny between laughing. Everyone but the blonde American had found it funny, though Robert was blushing more then laughing.

Finally the laughter died down and they started to leave, Marty winking at Robert as he blushed even more and stumbled out the door.

"Well now all we have to do is find the Sea squirt, and see if it gives any clues as to where Kai went."

* * *

Tadashi awoke with a shiver. The air was cold; her pale skin rising in tiny bumps from the chill as she consciously acknowledged it. She opened her eyes, and after seeing only a high, dark ceiling, sat up. She looked around her, taking in the lab-coated people milling around, looking at various equipment and monitors. The rest of the lab, as Tadashi had decided it was a lab, was harshly lit with clinical white lights suspended from the ceiling. The light above the table she was sitting on was off, leaving her in soft darkness.

She swung her long legs over the side of the metal table and let her booted feet touch the hard ground. She didn't stand, not just yet; instead she concentrated on the tube that was attached to her hand. The thin needle was imbedded deep into a vein that stood out clear from the cold air, and she followed the tubes length to the bag suspended next to the metal table. It was close to being empty; a small line of fluid was left at the bottom of the bag, still slowly dripping into the larger part of the tube that abruptly thinned for the rest of the tube to her vein. She pulled out the needle, not caring for the flash of pain or the beads of blood that followed, not questioning why she didn't care.

"Tadashi?" came a very familiar voice behind her, also in darkness.

She turned her head away from her sluggishly bleeding hand to look at who had called her name.

Leon stepped closer to the table, becoming more visible in the parting shadows. She looked at him indifferently.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked quietly.

"You are Leon, current head of Biovolt. You are my brother, aged sixteen, an expert knifeman, well skilled at torture and at martial ar……" she replied in a monotone.

"Yes, thank you, that is correct. Tadashi, you are now mine, you will listen to me and do as I ask, is that understood?" he asked, though his voice commanded.

Tadashi nodded slightly, "I understand."

Leon grinned at her; there was something akin to a crocodiles smile in that expression.

"Good, do you care what orders I give you? Any problems serving me or Biovolt?"

"No" was the simple reply, for she didn't care, about anything. She had told Leon what he was, but none of it meant anything to her, he was exactly what she had said, but even the fact he was her brother, that they were related, didn't matter. He could die and she wouldn't give him a second thought. She could kill him, and would wash his blood off her hands like it was merely different coloured water.

Leon looked at her more closely, studying her. "If I told you to destroy Kai Hiwatari utterly, would you?"

Tadashi continued to look at him will pale grey, cold eyes.

"I would."

Leon beamed that reptilian smile at her and told her to follow him. She stood, and did as she was told. She looked ahead as she followed, not caring what was to either side of her. She would destroy Kai, or she wouldn't, it didn't matter. Leon could give her orders, and she may or may not follow them, again, it didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

Leon had set out to dispose of Tadashi's emotions, but had succeeded beyond his own inflated expectations. Her emotion was not the only thing obliterated, so was anything that she had placed emotion on. Ties with other people, with objects, with life, all gone. All that was left was a shell, filled with instinct, with observation.

Leon was unaware of the flaws of his plan, and that may have been his biggest mistake. Only Tadashi knew. If only she cared.

* * *

The story has to end

Screams die and fade away

Nothing lasts forever

It's a price all have to pay

Flesh closes as wounds heal

Even scars become hard to see

Memories can weaken or haunt you

They might never let you free

Pain is easily forgotten

Tears once shed are lost

Graves and tombs erode away

Dust and memories the only cost

Life goes on, as do we

We live and die in turn

But healed wounds still tug and ache

Distant terrors still smoulder, still burn

Will I forget what I've been dealt?

Or will I drown in my own past?

I can't hold on not knowing

I know I'm failing fast

Shrouded in dark history

I left in a haze of lies

Will I ever know the reality behind it?

Will I get there before the truth dies?

Like the scars that twinge and pull

I'm reminded of what's been done

I'm exposed for what I am

A shadow hiding in the sun

For what you've done I can't forgive

I'm now a child lost in the dark

But surely I can heal?

The pain waning like the past

I'll mend the mutilation

Vengeance I will send

I'll stop my blood from spilling

Either you or I will end


	11. Shadow born

Hey all! Ok, now I've only heard rumours about fanfiction punishing writers for answering reviews in their stories, but seeing as I have no other way to speak to you guys then I guess I'll have to carry on now won't I, and if I get punished, then I'll start a blog or something for you guys, but only if necessary!

How is it that Robert gets hit on? No idea! Some people find accents cute, and he has that little boy all grown up thing going for him, I don't personally like him but someone has to I guess! He was the most opposite to Michael in personality so I used him to get back at Mikey-boy! And thanks about the O.C's most of them are based on real people so I'm trying not to make them corny!

I'm glad I keep Kai in character, coz to be honest; it's not something you think about till you've done the chapter, even though it's very important! It's like trying to base the story around the character, but at the same time make the character work around the story, so I do the easy thing, I go with the flow and have so far stayed lucky! I prefer animals too! People make wonderful individuals, but as a species, we kinda suck! People react to stressors differently, and you can see it in Leon and Tadashi. They went through the same training and lifestyle, yet Tadashi embraced compassion, learnt from the pain she gave. Leon learnt what Biovolt was capable of, and craves the power, just a different person from the other. Tortured soul or just plain evil? Leon is both!

The description of the warehouse was tough to do as it's a place they are staying in, nothing more. I wanted it to be part of your imaginations so you could concentrate on the more important aspects of the chapter, that, and I was writing a lot for one chapter with a big description in it too!

Hmmm, popcorn, good for the colon!

I've tried a bit of everything in the story, and so far so good! I'm hoping to keep it balanced with its varied aspects; otherwise it would all go a bit stale!

You guys are great; your reviews are upbeat and the good kind of weird! There are plenty of surprises yet to come! Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Greenday is a great song, and I can see where you're coming from with the likeness! Wahay! Breaking the habit as well? You guys! Thanks, two awesome songs by two awesome bands and you connect them to my humble story! Hope your trip was cool!

I write the poems as they come to me. I get inspiration from a feeling, or something I've heard or seen that made me think, and then put that feeling into words. It's difficult sometimes, I have to really think about it, and other times it just flows out of me! The three new girls are not gonna have big roles, but they are going to have essential parts in the story.

All the chapters! How do I do it? No idea, I just started writing and bam, there were reviews! Its you lot that review remember, so I couldn't have done it without you lot really, your all a part of this.

Linkin park are a great inspiration to me! I thought the end of the last chapter was great too, if I do say so myself!

I will never, I repeat never, stop this story and not tell you!

Tadashi and Kai were never a couple, but friends. She hasn't turned against Kai yet, and if she does, it won't be something she would do normally.

I hope you like Alex, Helen and Flick, as they are really my friends! Like I said, they will play a part in the story, just not a particularly big one. Good luck with your poetry skills!

I hope you had a great time in China! I really am chuffed I managed to get your character right so far! I miss chatting to you too; it's just not been happening has it! I hope you get over your writers block too, I miss your stories!

Who else have the kids got now but each other? I figured it was what would happen to all those who had no where else to go, they all want to survive!

Hey! Someone who writes poems like me but is not the poems! I would be the one honoured to read any of your poems, so send away! The novel I've mentioned before is a life dream. I will write a novel, and as soon as possible, but it won't happen till after uni and then when my life's steady enough to commit to a book! It's going to a fantasy genre, and I have some of the characters all ready! It's something I'm going to let people know about nearer when I can write it!

Leon thinks he knows it all, but he doesn't! He's like a child that enjoys experimenting but doesn't really think out the consequences, and is lucky enough that most work out ok. Tadashi certainly didn't have any idea what she was in for! She thought she knew her brother, but as she had changed, so has he. Each one of those girls is gonna help Kai in some way!

I can understand you not forgiving Tadashi if she hurts Kai, but think about it, Kai forgives her for all she's done. She hasn't just hurt Kai, she's helped him too. Leon on the other hand, you can destroy! The Blade Breakers will certainly have trouble with Kai. Kai and Tala may be friends, or may become friends, but I don't think either is willing to let others get so close!

Its great the end of Crossing the bridge made you cry! Shows there was plenty of emotion in it!

And thanks for adding me to you're C2!

* * *

Kai stood before the dirt smeared windows, staring out to the distorted scene outside. He could see people milling about, but from the height and through the grime, he couldn't make out who any of them were. He looked down at himself. He was dimly illuminated from the fading evening light; shadowing and highlighting his contours till the dirt on him seemed to cover everything. It probably did.

He looked back up to the window. What was he doing here? This wasn't what he had planned, but then, he hadn't really planned anything. He had no idea how to get back the phoenixes, no idea what to do about the people he had left back in Japan, and no idea where to start looking for his past. Maybe he would get answers by helping Tala, but even then there were unanswered questions. Always unanswered.

He was tempted to let out a sigh, but was interrupted mid-breath.

"Kai, right?" asked a male voice.

Kai turned his head towards the voice, somewhere to his right. He took in the person with one sweep of his gaze.

"I'm Martin, Tala sent me to find you. We're starting the meeting soon, we need you there."

Martin was taller then Kai, being only slightly smaller the Spencer, maybe older too, like Tadashi. Worn trainers, slightly baggy jeans, and red football t-shirt was topped by a cap covering short orange-blonde hair. His blue eyes shifted to a questioning look.

"Let's go" answered Kai.

Kai followed the taller teen through the floor maze of beds and personal items towards the ladder. Martin went down first, and waited for Kai at the bottom. As his foot touched the floor, Kai's gaze shifted up. Through the bars of the ladder he saw someone watching him, though once they were seen; the person vanished into the shadows. A twinge of recognition stopped Kai in his tracks.

"Who was that?" he asked Martin without moving from the ladder.

"Huh?" asked Martin till his eyes followed Kai's. "Oh, that was probably Shade. You won't see her till she wants you to."

"You know her?" Kai had turned to Martin, knowing that the person wasn't coming back now she had been seen.

"Yeah, I'm one of the few who does. Even Tala doesn't see her. Shades been through some bad stuff, worse then most of ours as far as we can tell, either that or she just reacted badly to it. Whatever it was, she doesn't trust many, like you. We don't even know her real name, Flick gave her 'Shade' as she's always in the shadows, she's like a ghost. Seems she's interested in you."

Kai nodded and glanced back into the darkness, but nothing watched him from there now. Martin gestured to carry on and Kai followed. They walked to a group of people sitting in circle, making a ring around a lantern set in the centre, casting a warm glow in the darkening evening. Martin left Kai on the outskirts of the ring and walked round to the girls Kai had met earlier and Alicia, who made room for him, pushing another guy onto his side in a mock attempt to get him to move. He had short, spiky, dark hair, an eyebrow piercing, and the cheekiest smile Kai had ever seen a person posses. The guy sat back up and half pounced on one of the girls, tickling her till she collapsed giggling. Their laughter rose above the chatter. Kai watched them, his head slightly cocked to the side; he figured the other guy was Peter, as Alicia had been looking for him and Martin earlier. His mind drifting to times when he had laughed like that. So long ago.

"It's different for them" said a voice near his ear.

Kai almost jumped, his head swung around, his body following after. The person from the shadows stood there, still hidden in the gloom of shadows Kai didn't know were so close.

"Shade?" he asked, knowing it was her.

"Yes" she answered simply, her voice low, husky, like she wasn't used to using it.

His name being called distracted his attention; Ian was on top of a crate near one side of the circle, waving at him. Kai turned back to Shade, but she was already gone. He gave the darkness a questioning look before turning coolly on his heel and walking round to where Ian was waiting for him. As he closed the distance to the crate the short Russian was standing on, he could see the others of the team standing before the crate, facing the centre of the circle.

He resisted shaking his head; things had become just too weird lately. He reached the crate and was greeted by Tala with a slight nod, before the red head turned to those seated in the ring around him. Kai was surprised by the amount of people in the building, all with no where else to go. The young faces were all turned to Tala expectantly, and Kai recognised most of the them from brief moments of his life in the abbey. Some he knew more then others, and a few he had never seen before. Looking beyond the lanterns enveloping light, he could see Shade in the gloom. Always a shadow slightly outlined in the background. Shade was a good name for her.

Kai's attention was turned back to Tala as he began speaking. His introduction was met with a few nods, but mostly curious glances. It was his family's fault they were in this mess, without their own families, without their own lives. He could have expected more hostility from them, but that wasn't the way they had been trained. Others of Biovolt were not enemies until you battled them. That was the general rule. They were all in this together, regardless of how little they knew of their tormentor's grandson.

"This meeting was called for two reasons, and since I have already introduced Kai, the next is to start planning. You all know you're jobs, and as of tomorrow, you will be using you're skills to do what I've asked. Now, seeing as it's the last night before we start our plans, I suggest you relax and have fun, just keep the noise down" the red head said to the attentive group with a smile before they gave muted cheers and dispersed in ways only children could think of. The smile hadn't reached Tala's icy blue eyes. He spoke quietly to Ian, Bryan and Spencer, who had equally solemn looks on their faces. But then, Kai mused, they had never been happy people.

Tala turned to Kai.

"I won't go through the plans of every group, of every person. We have spies, mechanics, cooks, networkers, fighters; almost every specialty Biovolt trained is here."

Kai focused completely on the boy he had shared so much with, yet had wounded so deeply. "Almost?"

"I know what you're thinking Kai, compared to most of us, you know more about Biovolt and Leon. You were trained more then the rest, though I loath to admit that, but there is one more person here who has skills even you don't have. She's also had a run-in with Leon."

"She? Shade?"

Tala nodded a worn smile that finally reached his eyes. "She's been waiting for you to turn up. Now I suggest you get some sleep, you look like you need it."

Tala then spun on his heel and was lost in the small groups and running teens. Kai watched him go, uneasiness formed in the pit of his gut. There was something Kai didn't like in this whole scene. Tala and the others were doing their best, but going against Biovolt was akin to suicide and worse if they failed. But he'd promised he'd help, and he would. He would help no matter what the situation.

Glaring ahead as he battled the churning of his stomach, the hole Dranzer and Black Dranzer had left seemed all the more painful. He stalked outside, ignoring the looks, the whispers. He was Kai Hiwatari. He had power, knowledge, skills, he was something.

Yet under the vast expanse of stars scattered across the dark, cold sky, he couldn't feel what he was saying.

Maybe he was nothing; maybe he would fail them like he had his family, his friends, and his bitbeasts. But he'd go down fighting, that's what mattered. The stars seemed like small, hard, cold flecks of light, but Kai knew the power that each possessed, the intense burning, the light that had travelled so far. Maybe that was what was between him and the phoenixes now, merely distance. It distorted giant balls of flame into pinpricks of light, so maybe it was distorting his bond with the bitbeasts. If he could find where they had gone, then perhaps they would become the sun to him again. Perhaps, maybe, words were all he had.

* * *

Tadashi stood passively in Leon's study, behind his chair to the side, just as he had told her to. She had been standing there since her brother had brought her up from the lab, and her legs had only just begun to ache. She moved forward almost silently and sat on the chair opposite Leon's, across the desk from his.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, an angry glint in his flinty eyes.

"Sitting" she replied in a monotone.

"I didn't ask you to, so why did you move?"

"My legs ache, so I sat."

Leon leant back and looked at his sister intently. She had moved without being asked to, clearly disobeying, yet she had done something for herself. To Leon, this showed something advantageous. She would do what she had to, to survive, and that made it easier to make sure she would destroy Kai. All he had to do was make sure Kai became a threat.

"Do as you wish Tadashi" he muttered as he reached for the phone. He had things to plan, least of all the news he had received about where the escapees had hidden themselves. He smiled, this was fun. The planning, plotting, being in charge. He had no idea how great the power tasted, and now he knew why Voltaire had run Biovolt, and why Kai craved power and perfection.

He picked up the phone and pressed a number.

"Ah Boris, feeling up to the next stage? Good! I have received the information I needed, I know where they are hiding. I want the spies settled in to their positions now, and want you to start preparing our 'troops' as you will."

"Of course sir, as you ask" was the reply from the man that had once scared Leon, till he had grown up enough for Voltaire to start training him.

Leon hung up and looked up. Tadashi still sat opposite him. It suited him fine, she was no threat to him now.

* * *

"No one knows when the sea squirt will be back!" groaned Kenny as he returned from asking what felt like the hundredth person of the whereabouts of the small ship.

"Calm down Chief, it'll be fine!" Said Tyson, giving his smaller, highly strung friend a gentle pat between the shoulder blades.

"How can you say this will be fine! How can it be fine! We can't find Kai! He could be anywhere, lying in a ditch, injured, or dead!" Kenny got out in one breath, clutching his shirt and tie near his neck.

"Breathe!" Shouted Hilary, receiving a grateful glance from Tyson and a large gasp for air from Kenny.

"Maybe we should get in touch with Mr. D, he might be able to help us out here" interjected Ray, speaking over the sound of a Kenny coughing as he tried to take in more air. No one noticed Robert walking away from them slightly, his face full of thought.

"What will he be able to do?" asked Michael, looking around for a welcome distraction, he was bored, unbelievably bored.

Mariah rolled her eyes at the tall blonde, "he can look at records or something, duh!"

It was at that moment Robert returned, his face now sporting a beaming smile.

"Good news, I took you're advice Ray and phoned Mr. Dickinson. He has willingly put forward the plan and funds to let us take rooms in a hotel here till the Sea Squirt next docks, then he would like us to return to him with any information. It's quite urgent we do."

"Dude! Thanks, though why the urgency when we have the information?" Asked Max, finally speaking up after being so quiet.

"I'm afraid I cannot answer that" the purple haired European replied.

"Hold on, why is the old geezer stumping up the cash for this?" Johnny demanded.

"Well think about it" started Max, his trademark smile back, "we represent the BBA to a degree, all of us, including Kai, so protecting us and helping us out will ensure we can still represent the company, sort of free advertising. Plus, Kai left in difficult circumstances, so maybe us finding Kai might be for other reasons."

"Max? How? You? That?" stated Tyson, his mouth hanging open.

Max beamed as he shrugged, "my dad owns a business, I was bound to pick up something!"

Johnny shook his head, "lets just find a place ok? And someone tell Tyson's gramps what's happening! He's probably fallen asleep and forgotten where he is anyway"

* * *

I

I'm no longer questioning who I am

Now I wonder what I have become

For I'm sure I should not feel this way

Where did this feeling emerge from?

Every direction I turn looks the same as before

I'm trapped in a hall of mirrors

Each reflection is mocking me

All showing my inner fears

Where do you hide from yourself

When you're set on self destruction?

How do you find a way out

When only you are the obstruction

I'm tired of trying to escape

The only rest eternal, just one step away

One step I cannot and will not take

When in life I want to stay

I want to fly from this self prison

Away from my own taunting face

But where do the condemned find peace?

Is there such a place?

I'm drowning in a womb of lies

Suffocating on stolen air

Trying to scream all I feel

Pain that I cannot begin to share

Why do we torture ourselves so?

Why do we live when we always hurt?

I tore off my own wings the other day

What suffering was I trying to avert?

What pain was I trying to avoid?

What could be worse then my self infliction?

Do I suffer so others will leave me be?

Or is it all just a bloody addiction?

I beseeched to the gods and they failed me

The angles ignored my storm of prayers

I lost all my hope of salvation

Burned by the barb each rejection bears

I'm lost, rejected, and bloodied

I left my soul and hope to die

I have no more questions to ask

Except one, what am i?


	12. Musings

I know I'm not supposed to do this but a quick message to everyone, Shade is Midnightmares character, and she is being very generous for letting me use her! The way Shade looks, and her bitbeast is mostly my idea, but the character is hers. Also, if you have a user, sign in to review so I can reply to you! See Midnightmare about the real Shade, and sorry it took so long to update! Uni, work, and home life make it a bit difficult sometimes!

* * *

Tadashi walked the dim corridors deep in Biovolts main building. Leon had left her to her own devices, telling her to behave. She didn't care, he wasn't important. Nothing mattered but herself, and whatever herself was, it was telling her something wasn't right. Rather, something was very, very wrong. Deep inside her something felt broken. Until she could figure out what it was, she ignored its ache, it wasn't essential to her survival at this time. 

She continued down the well warmed passageway, far away from Russia's fast approaching winter. She knew who lived in rooms just down the corridor, and she was curious.

Boris had always frightened her, had been the demon in her childhood night terrors. She had grown older and had learned to mask her fear, to make it appear in the form of distaste, to make him appear to low even to loathe. Of course it had backfired. Voltaire had used her forged attitude as a barrier, making her work more with Boris as she so obviously couldn't care less about the man, even though he knew Boris was a reason she awoke screaming some nights. One good thing had come out of it, from working with Boris, she worked with Kai. Even when they were small children, Tadashi only two years Kai's senior, Tadashi had been drawn to Kai's fire, like a snake seeking the sun in which to bask in.

Back then she had tortured him, had sung him to sleep, had hurt those he cared for, and had protected him from her brother. Now she couldn't feel anything for him, and she knew it was wrong.

She had only one more corner to turn before reaching Boris' quarters, she wanted to know what Boris was up to, for her gut instinct told her what Leon was blind to see, that Boris was up to something. Anything Boris did hurt Tadashi, the fact that he breathed was a personal agony to her, Kai hadn't been the only one Boris had preyed upon. Tadashi wanted Boris gone, he would harm her, and so he had to be removed.

Before she could turn the corner, she heard his door open. Her training served her well, and she crouched into the shadows the corner threw across part of the corridor she was in. Her lips curled into a snarl as Boris walked away from her direction, the very smell of the man turned her stomach. She waited for him to get far enough ahead, then began hunting for her prey, scenting him out.

* * *

Kai had spent an age just standing beneath Russia's night sky. Eventually he had turned and gone back into the warehouse that now served as a home for so many children, like him. Now he lay beneath his blankets, his ears drinking in the sounds of sleep, dreams, and muffled conversation. His closed eyes could see the faint hint of orange from the dimmed lights. He knew he needed to sleep, though it was hard coming. 

He had found sleep eventually, or sleep had found him. Alicia had watched him from a slight distance, watched him toss and turn in his sleep, watched him talk to the horrors that plagued his slumbering mind. What could haunt him so much? Others had nightmares, sleepless nights, but none as bad as Kai seemed to have, and yet in the morning he would be able to do anything the fates sent his way. Now his wounds had healed to the tight, new flesh still in danger of rupturing, what was to stop him?

She worried, more for the people hidden at the warehouse then for Kai. He could take care of himself, they could not. What if he didn't help? What if he disappeared again? Tala trusted him, so should she. She shook her head and left him to sleep, what good was watching him doing?

She made her way down the ladder; almost cat like as her bitbeast was. Walking towards the large lantern that marked the meeting place, central to the building, she needed its light and warmth right now. As she passed some of the crates almost completely submerged in darkness, she saw something. She stopped to face it, her hands on her hips in a pose almost matronly.

"Pete, come out of there, Shade's the only one that can get away with hiding!"

His unique laughter rang out, threatening to wake those sleeping. "I was gonna jump you, dammit!"

She stuck her tongue out at him and carried on towards the light. He fell in beside her.

"I saw you watching him, why Al?" he asked, breaking the silence between them.

"I dunno, he intrigues me I guess. I've seen him vulnerable, I suppose I want to know why the legendary Kai suffers."

Peter almost laughed at her, "sometimes I wonder if you really are sick in the head!"

Alicia looked at him in confusion before it dawned on her, her face filled with playful shock as she shoved him, "I don't mean I want him to suffer! You bastard!"

They laughed and shoved each other till the reached the now deserted ring of lamp light. Sitting down before it Peter reached into his jacket and pulled out a battered hip flask which he swigged from. He handed it to Alicia who also took a mouthful, but spluttered and choked as the burning alcohol dribbled down her throat. Peters laugh woke up most the building this time as amber liquid trickled down his friends chin.

"You could have warned me it was alcohol!" she accused in a hoarse voice.

He could barely reply from laughing. "What else would I have in a hip flask?"

She could only stick her burning tongue out at him again in retort.

* * *

Shade shivered in the cold air. She liked being outside, in the open, regardless of the weather, and had waited for everyone to have gone inside. It was better then being stuck somewhere, unable to get out. 

She pushed aside those fears, it was different now, she couldn't get trapped in the warehouse, she was no longer Leon's toy. She would get her revenge, for everything, for every shed tear and every drop of spilled blood, hers and her family's. So much pain wrapped in the seductive ribbon of betrayal.

"I'm more like Kai then I thought" she muttered to herself. She knew Kai's past, Leon had delighted in telling her all about his apparent fallen foe, who really hadn't fallen at all. The fact that Leon was bragging over nothing satisfied her somewhere deep. It was a twist that tasted oh so sweet. She strode over to the water trough, subconsciously staying in the shadows in the yard. It was a skill that had kept her alive, had made sure she completed her missions successfully, and had given her, her name, her new name, her old one was too painful, involved in memories she kept locked away. She was now Shade, and it fitted.

She looked into the almost still water illuminated by uncountable stars and the borrowed radiance of the moon. She didn't often look at her reflection, she looked too much like those that were either hurt because of her, or had hurt her. Plus reflections gave her away, not good for one so much a part of stealth as she was. She gazed into the slight depth of the dark water. Her pale grey eyes glowed slightly with an almost purple light. Her eyes had always been strange, even amongst her family, but then they were her best feature. They were just the right size and shape for her slim face. Beneath her eyes lay her nose, almost too pointed, almost to short, but not quite, followed by her slightly over generous mouth. She was lucky, being one of Leon's pets usually meant horrific scars, but with her, at least he had left her face alone. She brushed a strand of her hair from her eyes. Her hair was a much darker hue of grey then her eyes, almost black, almost charcoal, with a purple streak down the centre that ran from fringe to the nape of her neck. Any hair that grew on the streak was purple from root to tip. The hair at the back was kept long, almost to her lower back, but the front and part of the sides were face length, cut choppy and short. Her fringe just covered her eyes.

She sighed as she appraised her outfit. She wore a grey strappy top underneath a long sleeved, black mesh top. Her black trousers flared out below the torn knees, tight across her thighs, and ended in her calf high black and red combat boots. Tight black leather and metal armbands were attached to half fingered gloves, where dull silver rings adorned some of her fingers, small metal bands on her partially covered digits sat under the flaring mesh sleeves of her top. At her throat was a choker consisting of a black strap buckled snugly. At the buckle at the front of her throat was a pewter grey jackal head, looking straight ahead, the ears pointed towards her bottom jaw, the snout pointing towards her chest, almost reminiscent of the Egyptian style head masks of the gods. Small silver hoops adorned her ears, four on the left ear, three on the right. Both the lowest rings on her lobes had a small pewter ankhs dangling from them. It was all dark, and all she had. She clutched the small grey and purple beyblade in her hand, well; she had the guide of the underworld and rebirth too. She smiled, a rare thing, and headed back to her beloved shadows.

* * *

"This place is swank!" exclaimed Johnny as he strode into the opulent and large room he would be sharing with the other boys. "Who knew this crappy little town would have a hotel like this!" 

Robert glared at his fellow team-mate, "you, Johnny, should keep a civil tongue! If you had even bothered to look at this town when we were walking around, you'd see what a successful trading harbour it is!"

"Geez! Keep you're panties on!" the Scottish lad muttered. Robert was unaware of the last comment as the others poured into the room. They all selected beds with minor arguments and settled down.

"So where's the girls?" asked Michael.

"Down the corridor, and grandpa is on the floor below us, he said he's be up in a minute."

"They should all be in here; we need to discuss what we are going to do next. I talked to the hotel receptionist and he told me that the Sea Squirt usually returns within three to four days of departure. It's due to return in a couple of days. Hopefully that means we can find out where Kai has gone, though I have a suspicion, considering where this harbour is and what the neighbouring land masses are. We dismissed the idea before, but now I'm not so sure" stated Kenny, already typing away on Dizzy.

"Where chief? Asked Tyson, lying down on the overly stuffed duvet, pulling his cap over his eyes and sighing gently as he relaxed.

Ray answered for the smaller teen, "Russia. You really think he might have gone back, after all that happened there?"

Kenny shook his head, almost in a resigned gesture. "I don't know Ray, I don't understand Kai. Every time I think I'm getting close to understanding him, something new comes along. He could have gone anywhere, but evidence here shows he could well have gone to Russia. But then why! Gah!"

Just then the door opened. "You guys should really try closing a door properly; we could hear you half way down the corridor! Where you raised in a barn or something?"

Under his cap, Tyson rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's voice. Johnny caught the faint movement and stifled laughter, earning a brutal glare from Hilary. She sat down beside Kenny with a huff and crossed her arms. Mariah sat herself beside Ray and leaned against his shoulder in content familiarity.

"So you heard…?" questioned Max.

"Most of it, but what do we do now?" Mariah spoke up from Ray's shoulder.

"no idea, I guess we wait for the Sea Squirt to return, then decide when we know more" answered Max, "and where's Tyson's grandpa?"

Both girls erupted into giggles, "we saw him trying to chat up some poor lady on her way to bingo on the stairs, we probably wont see him till she looses him some how!"

Tyson bolted upright, "my grandpa? Mine?" his face of horror streaked past the room as he bolted for the door. His grandpa should not be chasing woman, he was an old man! Right? Tyson's view of his guardian was warping in his young mind, it just did not compute.

* * *

Tala gave up trying to sleep. He had been tossing and turning since he'd placed his head on the pillow, it just wasn't happening. He lay in thought; there was much to think about. His feelings where very confused since he had first seen Kai. He had known Kai would have to be part of this, knew he would have to see and talk to him, but maybe he wasn't quite ready enough for that. 

There was so much history between them. Comrades, both caring for Tori, team-mates, sharing pain and laughter. Then Tori and Kai had become even closer, pushing Tala out ever so slightly. He had resented that, blaming Kai rather then his twin. When she died, as a result from Kai's actions, he had been overcome with rage and grief, part of him was stolen away from him, the ultimate crime, stealing what can never be returned, his wonderful sister.

He had hated Kai, wished him slow and torturous death. The fact that it was an accident, that Tori would have forgiven Kai, meant nothing in his stormy mind, he wanted Kai to suffer as he had. Time had only diminished those burning emotions a little, and the tournament had changed so much, his body, his skill, his whole life. When Kai had returned to the abbey, Tala was forbidden to try anything to endanger him. He had to work with him, put up with Kai's claim that he could win the whole thing solo. He had skulked back to the enemy though, betraying everyone at some point, and Tala had been changed, to win.

Since then, he had begun to understand Biovolt more, to understand everything more, including Kai. He wanted Biovolt finished, wanted Boris' death, wanted freedom. And he needed Kai for that. Even under all the hate, the pain, he had forgiven Kai, not completely, but partly. He was still healing from Tori's death, it would remain an ugly scar, but it would mend, letting him function again to some degree as a human, not a Biovolt weapon. He would never be the weapon Kai was, and for some reason, he was glad of that. It made it easier to leave Biovolt in the dust.

But then what happened after? If he failed, he would most likely die, or be destroyed beyond himself, and if he succeeded? What did he have? He was young, capable, but young. There would be no one to go to, no where to go to, just like most of the people here, but then they would all be in it together, they would all be faced with this. He closed his eyes against the darkness; he would cross that bridge when he came to it.

Well into the night, he slept. It was disturbed sleep, dreaming of dust and dead places, of empty, blocked paths, grey skies and dry winds. He wasn't alone though, he was running after someone, someone whose hair gleamed bright red in the dull light, whose laughter added music to the decayed land, and whose eyes held a blue sky, a sky that shed spring rain. He would never catch her, but she was there. That alone kept him resting, sleeping. Kept him hoping, and kept him alive.

* * *

Butterfly wings 

I'm watching the pages turn

Not reading what they say

Hating those that don't deserve it

One day I know I'll pay

I shall resurrect the fight

Though I shall never again shed blood

I shall never say goodbye

When I sink beneath the flood

Behind haunting eyes

My prayers are silently cast

They tremble like dying butterflies

But still they do their task

Slowly towards the sun

The silent words I hope will heal

Will you want to hear me?

Can I strike a twisted bargain?

You cannot ignore me forever

I call upon you now

I should be ashamed of my summons

But I intend to take this vow

Heal me angel of suffering

For I am cloaked in my own pain

It holds me in a shroud of tattered lace

Just to feel is an agonised bane

Seraph who wields a flaming sword

Of vengeance, and of justice

Heal this rise of revolution

Avenge the victims of this practice

For what I must do to protect

For all the pain that I foresee

Let us be shielded from the ache

With the feathered wings of mercy

For when the unheard calls

When you feel that morbid tone

You understand who you must appeal to

The concealed angel of the unknown

Hand in hand with the one that knows

Dark wings that embrace the dead

By feeling none you show compassion

Peace replaces what we dread

Angel sacred to memory

Don't let go, set me free

Take my sweetest bitter tears

Born to love, could you hate me?

When the angels offer an omen

Of when you must run from the fires of heaven

Hide in a world of scars and smoke

For there is safety in imperfection


	13. Circles

Kai shivered in the cool morning air. Even under his blankets, a cocoon of warmth, the seasonal chill still worked its way through the layers of fabric. He opened bleary eyes to see his breath hang in the air before him momentarily before fading. God he'd missed this country, Japan had never felt right, the air had never felt right; this was home, however cold it got. Once he got going even the bitterest Russian winter couldn't stop him. Letting his body adjust to the coolness of the grey morning, he stretched, a delicious symphony of pops, creaks, and his own groans and every joint added its own chorus, every muscle straining in a way he couldn't even begin to describe, it was glorious. He lay there after, filling his lungs with air, he hadn't stretched like that in a long time, though he winced as his newly formed scars tugged and pulled. He would forever be marked by those flying hags, and with that, his mood instantly darkened. It wasn't often he woke up with a clean memory, and even when he did, it wasn't long before it became tainted once more.

Wanting to sigh, he hauled himself up to rest on his elbows, looking around with now more alert eyes; he noticed the dim light of early morning, exposing the sleeping forms of many of the warehouses young occupants. Somewhere, he could hear the muffled crying of a small child, and the whispered hushes of a sympathetic girl as the child sobbed in her arms. They all knew the pain, how no one else outside of Biovolt knew was a mystery. But then Biovolt was meticulous about its secrets, runaways were always found, he knew that from personal experience, potential informants of the press could always be paid off, everyone had a price. Even those with families could not escape till now, and the horrors of Biovolt would not be exposed by them, the training ran too deep, the stakes of discovery too high. If they told, and Biovolt won this war, their lives could well be forfeit, or not worth living. If they failed, there would be no escape. Was he the only one who saw how hopeless this all was? Did no one else see the dark shadows of their futures, already reaching out to grip them in grief and pain? Dark ether reaching out to twist at their hopes and drain their life till there was nothing left to live for.

He shivered off those thoughts, it did no good to dwell on what he could not change, they would either fail or succeed. Whatever happened, it would be too late for them now, but they could stop Biovolt for good, stop it happening to any one else.

'Maybe even save the world' he thought to himself, smiling at the cheesy thought. Well, at least he still had some humour, though it did nothing to help heal the void, he wasn't sure anything would. He leaned forward to rest his arms upon his knees and breathed deep, would he ever feel whole again? He didn't think so, how could he when so much had been taken away from him? He needed answers, real answers, he could never admit to anyone how lost he was. Fingering a scar he knew lay beneath his trousers, he regarded the dirty window. He felt dirty, and from the damp air he could tell there had been drizzle in the night. Maybe that trough out the back had clean water in it, because he felt the need to wash, he hadn't checked his nearly healed wounds, and he needed to be in good condition for what he was planning.

* * *

Tadashi remained pressed against the wall, breathing slow and deep. She had followed Boris as he had walked through Biovolt's lush corridors, and some of the more unsavoury passageways. She had trailed him past white coated employees, past rooms of sobbing children, bars on their windows, those with windows. Those that could see daylight. She was sure there should be pity for them, but that wasn't what she was interested in now, the soulless creature before her was all she was focused on, soulless, like her. She had one, once, she knew that, the snake marked upon her leg told her of passion and life, yet she could no longer feel it, no longer remember its sweet taste. She was going to get it back, after she destroyed this man, this creature. That was her aim. That was all she wanted, regardless of what her brother thought.

She took one last deep breath and stepped away from the wall and began walking down the corridor, swift yet silent, each footfall light. Boris had been in the one room for a good long time, and Tadashi had no intention of waiting around forever. She needed his habits, his movements, his sounds and smell imprinted in her memory, deep in her consciousness. She had to know him to kill him, or else she may fail, and that was not an option. Boris had to die.

She wasn't the only one who thought so, Tori felt the same, and it was Tori who was holding onto the small shred of humanity, that one factor Leon didn't include, didn't know about, and it was his undoing. He had buried Tadashi's soul with drugs, but he hadn't counted on Tori's being there. He would never have seen it, even though he controlled a bitbeast, a spirit, he was amazingly short sighted about things still unknown to science. To be told there was a dead girl cohabiting his sister, he would not be able to even begin to comprehend what it meant. No, his oversight, his arrogance to disbelieve what he couldn't understand, that would end this for him. Tadashi almost smiled at the thought, in her mind, Tori did smile. The strange gleam in Tadashi's pale eyes, the steely grey rimmed with sky blue, was murderous, determined.

And as one young woman, employed and bullied into cleaning the rooms, noticed with fear, there was also madness in those stormy eyes.

* * *

Ray lay in his hotel bed, fingers laced underneath his head, staring at the ceiling, trying to reason why Kai may have gone back to Russia. After that last tournament, after that pain and defeat and betrayal, how could he go back? Didn't he trust them anymore? What had they done? Had he gone back to Russia? Where else would he go? Could he really get a ship back there? So many questions! Even the steady snoring from Tyson's bed couldn't settle him; it was a noise he'd grown steadily used to, it was hard to sleep without it now!

Though we wanted to do without it, he wanted a break, he wanted to go home! He wanted to take Mariah, and just go, they'd both been through enough, but he couldn't, Kai had been through worse, and he needed to find him. He knew it was there fault, he wasn't sure what it was, surely they had done the right thing? Kai had never liked the situation being taken out of his hands, is that why he left? There were too many questions and no definite answers, just guesses, stabs in the dark. Why had he left? So injured? What had happened in that tube? There was so much blood, such strange residues washed away by the security and emergency services, desperate to extinguish the fumes that had shrouded them all and rendered them unconscious. No one had been able to figure out where the haze had come from, it seemed to vanish soon after the air was doused with water, its thin tendrils recoiling and disappearing into the air. The only source would have been the tube, but there was no evidence, just what they had seen. Once they had made it back to Tyson's, his things had gone, and so had he, that was it. Could it have driven him back to his own personal hell? He closed his golden eyes, sighed, and rolled over.

Suddenly, his home mountains seemed very, very far away.

* * *

Dizzy sighed once again in her computer simulated voice, regarding her partner in a way only she could.

"Go to bed Chief, its late, damn it it's early, move it mister!!!!"

Kenny blinked at her from under his hair, bleary eyed and pale, he did need sleep, but like every major problem he encountered, he'd never be able to sleep without some headway, without some clue. Normally he would thrive on such pressure, live for the problem solving. But this time, he was so tired; weary, how much more could he take? Everything he did kept the other functioning; he was constantly trying to help them better themselves. All he wanted was to go back to school, try some math problems, analyse mechanics, and be a kid! He blinked back the tears of tiredness and typed on, it didn't matter, he'd carry on regardless, it was what he did, no matter how thankless.

"I can't Dizzy, I need to do this, I need to figure this out!"

Dizzy felt like sighing again as he continued to persistently type on her keyboard. She couldn't help feeling that whatever Kai did it ended up as trouble for everyone.

* * *

Samantha hugged herself, her arms wrapped around her sides tightly. Why had this happened? She had finally found a family, found love, thanks to her assignation to Kai for his hospital recovery. She had never had a case like his before, never seen such abuse on someone so young. There had been no medical records, his slate was blank, not even a birth certificate could be found. He was an enigma, a potential John Doe. But he had friends, even the famous Mr. Dickenson had vouched for the name of the boy, he had been on T.V, and yet to the real world, he did not exist. No parents, no birth date, no records beyond the ones they had made when he became a patient of the hospital, not even Mr. Dickenson, who had known him the longest, could say about Kai's origins, how he had become part of the Japanese beyblade scene. His accents had been perfect; none of them had known Kai was Russian until the tournament finals, when all the strangeness had occurred.

There was still so much to learn about him. She had been alone too, had known how hard it was to have to make it on your own and yet put on a mask. Their masks were different though, Kai's was stony, impenetrable, hard and cold, it protected him. Samantha's on the other hand, smiled, open and friendly, chatty, anything to distract people away from the core of loneliness and desperation that was her. Who would have thought the bubbly, red-headed nurse cried herself to sleep every night? Maybe a few had guessed, but since her parents hadn't been there for her, she hadn't let anyone get close enough for them to do something about it. Her protective bubble was coated in smiles, jokes, hardened by her work. She took as many shifts as she could get, paying off her debts from college, keeping the pain at bay. And it had worked, kind of.

Then Kai had come along, and it had all changed. Here was someone so completely abused, yet so shut off from his own pain. How did he do it? How did he survive it? How could he ignore the battering of memories and pain that never left him? Did he ignore it? She didn't know, and she wanted to know, yes selfishly for answers for herself, but also to better understand the boy. She wanted to help; she was drawn to him like a moth to the flame, burning herself on the edges of his fire, yet still trying again and again. She couldn't even get close enough to burn. Maybe she felt the need to protect him, as she had not been protected. But to see suffering in one so young, suffering that had gone on for so long, how could anyone let it carry on, how could someone not want to stop this?

She sighed and continued to order the food from room service, eggs, bacon, hash browns, and numerous other fancies the kids had asked for. At least she could help here, but the memory of a teenage girl, flour on her nose, a triumphant smile on her pale face as she placed upon the table the plate of pancakes she had mastered, made Samantha want to weep.

* * *

Tyson breathed in the morning air. It was good to be somewhere different; there was too much going on, at least new surroundings kept them more distant somehow. He hated things complicated, hated situations beyond his control. He withdrew Dragoon and caressed the image of the wind dragon. The beyblade vibrated to his touch, humming softly in the misty air. Warmth flooded his hand and he sighed in contentment, safe in the unseen bond he and the beast shared. He bundled his emotions tightly, frustration, anger, worry, and yes he'd admit it, a little bit of hurt and betrayal, and poured them into his hands.

He fixed Dragoon to its launcher, and let it rip.

The beyblade shot forward and ricocheted off the metal cover of an air conditioning system, skidding across the floor to spin in neat, exact circles. This was it; this was what it was all about. He let the growing breeze caress his face, cool, soothing, comforting. He hated being still, the staleness, the lack of air, of movement. His hair stirred, his bangs lifting and falling in soft waves, he felt alive!

He loved the sound of his beyblade as it cut through the air, he could feel the vibrations still, purring within him, he felt like he was part of something greater. His dad had been right; there was more to the creatures residing within their beyblades. These were creatures that shared an uncanny resemblance to the gods, the myths, the beasts that had been worshiped and feared through the ages. There was a deeper mystery to it all, why had they become the child's playthings they were now? Giving such ability to people who could never understand how to use it, who could never even begin to know the immense power they held in their hands. Why?

His blade began to slow, dipping slightly as the rotation decreased. He concentrated again, but still the beyblade lagged. He knew Dragoon understood. They were both missing Kai. Even though the team captain was a sour puss, a complete bastard, and an overall dick, he still meant a lot to all of them, he was a friend, no matter what. Only what could they do? Everyone seemed to think Kai needed saving, that he had gone head long into trouble because he was upset with them. Tyson knew it was more then that, Kai wouldn't let them know he was upset with them, he would have remained the stoic ice king he was, but he had gone, they had hurt him bad, and Tyson didn't think going after him was the best idea. Kai had to cool down, had to find himself, but nobody listened to the dark blue haired teen, they never did.

He opened his hand and willed the blade to connect with his palm, which it promptly did. He regarded Dragoon, the weight of the blade comforting against his skin. Kai would be ok; he had Dranzer, and Black Dranzer! He shown them all how he could survive again and again, and he would this time too, but he needed to do this alone, they had got in his way far too many times. He leaned his back against the railing surrounding the open rooftop, finger laced behind his head, just watching the sky. Something glinting in the morning light caught his eye. Turning to face it he saw the ships and boats that lined the docks. Had the ship they were looking for come in yet? He doubted it, they'd find out later anyway, breakfast first.

That's when it hit him. "Shit, breakfast!!!!" he yelled as he ran across the roof and threw himself into the stairway. How could he have been thinking instead of eating?! What was wrong with him?

* * *

**Devastate**

There's something you have stolen

From deep inside of me

Leaving behind an empty space

Can't you feel my agony?

Your touch turns me to ice

Slowly igniting my skin

Holding my breath, closing my eyes

Stowing it endlessly within

You look at me with eyes of glass

With one glance, all my hopes u raze

Your angel face of deceit

You won't even meet my gaze

You tell me it's alright

That I deserve this

I see nothing in those eyes

As you lean in for the first kiss

Closing the door behind you

Shivering in the empty air

I know I don't deserve this

Do you even care?

So numb inside

Sweet words said so rough

Fighting back, tears running hot

THIS IS NOT ENOUGH!

Desperate to escape

Frantic pleas always denied

You always take what you want from me

You always find a way inside

Honey promises and candy kisses

Dismissing the blood like autumns rain

Twisting something beautiful

Never trusting the sweetness again

Hiding away inside myself

Staring from behind the closed door

Mournful eyes on a face so small

Watching as I hit the floor

Your madness deepens

Before you calm and smile

Stroking my hair

As I battle the rising bile

You leave me where I am

Time crawls slowly past

I feel the roots of existence

Holding me ever fast

Laying where ive fallen

As the memory echoes on

I can still hear those haunting words

What have I done?

Those desolate eyes still watching

As I reach each new low

Self annihilation

Why do I hurt myself so?


	14. Unknown secrets

Shade shrugged deeper into the small gap she had secured to hide away in through the day. The crisscrossed beams supporting the roof met and ended almost haphazardly at the tops of the large windows, the light streaming through the dirty glass left her in the gloom she preferred. It hadn't even been hard to climb the carved frame of the window, someone, for some reason, a long time ago, had decided to beautify this old warehouse, though she had suspicions it hadn't always been a storage building. Something about this part of the town, the buildings, the abandonment, hinted at something other then just old warehouses and shops, but their original purpose eluded her.

Her eyes shined in the half light, flicking from one direction to the next, keeping tabs on where everyone was. Noting their positions, she leaned back and closed her grey eyes, sleep would come, she needed rest, she had been unable to sleep recently, anticipating Kai's return to Russia, and now that he was here, she had no idea what to say to him. She needed rest, and planning.

Sleep came, but rest could not be found, dark dreams followed her, dreary colours blending, images blurred into one another till the confusion and disorientation made her sick with fear. One thing remained clear though, fresh in her mind, made worse by her imagination, the screaming never stopped.

* * *

Kai stretched in the light and slight warmth of the growing day. It was cold, almost bitter, but the weak sun brought a heat that kissed the skin, enough to make him shiver from the brushing sensation. The water that filled the trough was icy cold, but was glorious on heated wounds. He knew he should have taken better care of them, he was weaker then he had been, grown feeble in Japan with no harsh training or punishing drive. All he had taken was his memories and his beyblade, and now the phoenixes had been ripped from him, all he had was the disturbing flashbacks. He needed more; he needed to be stronger to be of any use against Biovolt.

Running water through his fingers, he ignored the whispers behind his back. Small groups had congregated to see what he was up to as he had strode outside to the trough, though only girls remained to watch as he'd stripped down to his boxers and began to wipe away the grime and blood from his body. He had started to feel clean till wolf whistles and cat calls had started from those braver and older then the others. He had felt his cheeks heating till he remembered they were just bored, and scared. He was a welcome distraction to some and so intended to ignore the goading. He could almost imagine Tyson now flexing his arm muscles, posing, oblivious to Max imitating his moves behind his back. Kai almost smiled, and then steeled his face. They were not a part of him anymore, they had betrayed him, they had let it happen, had been part of the plan to remove the phoenixes from him. He knew he cared for them still, deep down, but to win this he had to leave them behind. He had done such before, he would again! He had to.

He removed thoughts of what he had left behind by dunking his head suddenly under the cold water. Flicking his head back, he glared as the girls shrieked and shuffled to avoid the cold drops. What he wouldn't give to be alone, just to be left in peace, to find what he was looking for. He would gladly disappear from the world if he could, he had nothing left here.

The need to sigh was strong, but he pushed the urge down as he picked up his clothes and dropped them into the water, he had been self reliant for a long time, and was almost a comfort to immerse himself in the mind numbing chore of washing the grit from his clothes. It wouldnt be perfect, but it would do, the clothes would be mostly clean, except the stains. There was alsways stains, blood needed more then just water to clean it away. It seemed blood stuck to him, he could never get away from it, never be clean.

* * *

"You going to tell him?"

Tala almost jumped, he should have heard Ian coming up behind him. He glanced down at the smaller boy, his face as expressionless as always.

"No, not now, maybe not ever. He will find out, how could he not? He is the amazing Kai after all, he will find out on his own, and he won't thank me for knowing, so no, I will not tell him" the red head replied.

"That's cold Tala and you know it, he deserves something in return for what your about to put him through. He doesn't deserve your contempt; he didn't do what was done to you, stop using him as an excuse."

Tala sneered, though the hatred that normally entered his eyes was absent. "I do what I have to Ian, don't interfere!"

His tone held finality to it the smaller boy knew well, shaking his head, he backed away; he didn't see the concern that Tala couldn't quite hide anymore. Blue eyes watched him go, then turned away again. Tala knew Ian was right, but he couldn't be the one to tell Kai, the hatred for him was no longer real, though there was a bitterness that wouldn't leave, recent events had fixed it into place, the unfairness of the news he had received tore at him. How Kai could not know didn't seem real to him, but Biovolt was always thorough, making sure that everything was lost. They had slipped up, so slightly, and yet had managed to cover up their mistake without even knowing they had.

He clenched his fists, Kai would find out, of that he was certain. He would show Kai, if they ever survived this, he would push his old comrade towards the news that could well break the blue haired teen.

He might never get the chance to tell him, they might all die in the process. The death of so many children in a Russian suburb would destroy Biovolt, it would be the easiest way to ruin everything Biovolt was, but the instinct to survive that made them choose this path was what would destroy Biovolt down to its foundations. Some of them may be able to go on and live a normal life, and however few of them there were that could, they were worth the struggle. And maybe they could all find happiness. Maybe.

It wasn't an idea he could believe in, how could they live normal lives? How could he live a normal life? He wasn't even completely human anymore.

* * *

A dark storm surged, always on the horizon, now it was getting closer. No one knew what the storm was, or in fact, where this place was. The landscape and sky shifted tirelessly, unrecognizable yet still there. Light and dark, colours and bleakness, all existed here, fading, undulating, flashing. Here was shapes too, things beyond imagination growing and twisting, for all imagination existed here, blending, separating. This place could have been alive, almost. Realities existed here; things fell under gravity, only seemingly to remember at the last moment that those realities were also birthed through imagination, and so stopped, or faded, or changed, dependant on only whim. But whose whim? Whose imagination?

Everyone's.

Too many questions existed here, and they could never be answered. This place wasn't't real, but it was here. Things lived here too. They hadn't always, there was a

time when all was developing shapes, colours, chaos. There was still no order, but it had been harnessed somehow, like fire, controlled, changed, yet still completely

unpredictable. The chain that held this place was so very weak.

One man had used this place for his own, changed it from a land of shifting Gods and colours, to a home, almost. The harpies hadn't been happy here, yet they had

thrived on its pure chaotic energy, growing, gaining power. But they didn't belong here, it had changed them, twisted them, nothing could live here and not change.

Now two more entities made it their home, two phoenixes were becoming one, not just when summoned, but always, maybe then they would be powerful enough

to help Kai, maybe they could escape. There was no certainty, but they had been through far too much in their long lives to end it now. This place may have birthed their kind, they were not about to let it end them.

* * *

Leon watched Tadashi from one of the many cameras that dotted the building. He knew she was after Boris, he had decided to let her have him, one less thorn in his side. He could concentrate on more pressing matters, like finding all Biovolts little runaways, and how he was going to gloat over how he was better then Voltaire. He smiled at the thought, imagined himself lording over all Biovolts little minions, Voltaire's stern face, turned to an old mans visage, broken and mourning. Yes, this is what he wanted, it was all his fingertips, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. He was king of his castle, and it was glorious! He continued watching his sister until she slunk off to her own quarters, most likely to rest, she had been stalking Boris for the best part of the day, and the drugs were probably doing strange things to her, they were untested after all.

He was still unsure wether or not to kill Kai outright, or to use the drugs on him. Either way would be satisfying, but first he had to find the blue haired teen, and see how Tadashi handled the drugs, so much to do! This was what he had been born to do, not be Voltiare's pet, his crocodile smile was now his own, real, and far more untrustworthy. He got up and stretched, it was time to talk to the scientists he had managed to keep when Voltaire was incarcerated. They had been working on the old mans strange dimension. Leon had been dubious at first, but it had proved to be real, as real as another plane of existence could be, yet they were unsure how it was connected to our world. It seemed that when Voltaire had placed his bitbeasts there, he had placed more questions then answers for the scientists, and now Leon was getting impatient. They couldn't even seem to recreate the tube, with personnel missing, and Voltaire refusing to assist in what he saw as betrayal, they were missing what seemed more then half the information they needed. It wouldn't do, the small braids against his neck swung as he shook his head, it wouldn't do at all.

* * *

Everyone sat round the room where they could, plates balanced on knees and laps, precariously perched on the remaining spaces on the table, enjoying the varied breakfast that had been ordered for them. Samantha didn't eat anything, instead she sat closer to Tyson's father, taking comfort in his warmth. He put his arm around her shoulders, understanding how she was feeling. He had a son, he couldn't imagine Tyson suffering the way Kai had seemed to, and he'd taken a shine to the troubled teen. He'd taken a shine to all the kids! He'd seen the panic in Kai's face when faced with a needle, and the stoic hardy attitude he adopted when in pain so bad others would have been left screaming. No one could understand the boy, but they had tried, they wanted to help, why he had ran off was anyone's guess, but they were not going to let him go without a fight.

Mr. Dickenson dabbed at his lips with a serviette and pushed his empty plate away from him. "I have been asking around this morning and it seems the Sea Squirt is only a day away, so plans are to be made. I will see to any last minute travel needs, though it seems our fears may be confirmed, the Sea Squirt was believed to be making a trip to Russia".

This was met with a small riot of groans.

"I know, it was not what we were hoping, and we cannot know for sure till the boat is back, but I shall be making plans for a trip to Russia, for all of us, and I hope you will all be ready. This is positive, it could be a very good direction to follow, as we know where he will be if he has gone, and we need to find him".

No one wanted to voice what was left unsaid, of what they were all fearing. None of them could even begin to think why Kai had gone back, or what had happened to him. There were too many questions and no answers, and it put all of them on edge. None of them knew how they would find him, and a few were beginning to doubt they even knew him at all.

Ray leaned back to rest his head against Mariah's knee, shifting his weight to settle on the floor more comfortably. Kai had called him a friend once, so long ago now it seemed. Would the blue haired teen still feel the same? Had they betrayed him somehow when they went to rescue him? All they had wanted was to help him, save him, and now he'd gone, and there was no way to really bring him back. He hadn't even left them a note, a goodbye. Were they really going to save him, or to find closure for themselves? He glanced over at Max, their eyes meeting across the space of the room. They were both worried over the same thing, they'd tried bringing it up to the rest of the group, to no avail. No one else would believe it was for themselves, this was for Kai they said. He needed protecting, he needed them, but for some reason, Ray couldn't shake the feeling it was the other way round.

* * *

Scare me

Holding on to stubborn pride  
Waiting for the pain to bite  
Sweet eyes so wide  
Drinking in the darkening light

Twilight blossoming across her eyes  
Hiding behind shades of lies

She watches the rivers form on her skin  
Feels the ache grow from the trauma  
Fear growing within  
Her trepidation your euphoria

Sunset pouring from her lips  
She tastes her life as it drips

Her limbs tremble with anticipation  
Of the next bitter caress  
The air charged with friction  
She cannot live without this

What she hates she also needs  
'Scare me', she breathes

Regarded with hate and lust  
To think of incites shame  
Yet engaged with complete trust  
Two halves of the same

Only pain will be enough  
All in the name of love


End file.
